Lau Niang Bought Soft Porn

I had a very clear copy last time and I loved it so much.

I watched it everyday.

I even practiced the moves and memorized the lines.

But recently, it got scratched. I tried buying a new copy but I couldn’t find the same movie anywhere.
And finally I found it yesterday. I was jumping for joy I actually found it again after such a long search. But to my dismay….the cover is so fugly. You see yourself lah!

What you think I pervert izzit? I talking about Geisha okeh!

Can you even imagine??! Look at the cover!! It looks like some sleazy B grade porn movie! This is supposed to be one of Spielberg’s most dignified movies. What is Zhang Zhiyi doing; clad in a leather thong with a “please-fuck-me” position on the cover?! Can the cover get any skankier than this?!? I don’t even think that’s her real picture; looks bloody photoshopped to me. Pardon the French; but I can’t seem to find a better word to describe this.

Heck if I’m gonna pay RM10 (as if it’s a big deal wtf) for a DVD, the cover had better be equally nice for my money’s worth. I was so stumped with such a dilemma. I wanted the movie so badly and when finally I find it, the cover has to be filled with tits and cleavages. Want to try my luck in other shop dunno they will have the stock or not also.

Last last, Lau Niang still buy for the love of Ken Watanabe and berangan nak jadi Hatsumomo punya pasal. I felt like one of those straight sleazy horny uncles trying to look discreet buying porn in a shop; getting weird stares and whispers from people around.

Pssst….you got the special one not…??

Mak malu tau!!

ANYWAYS…..mak going for holiday! I’ll be leaving for Langkawi erm…tonight. Staff trip. So I won’t be around till Sunday at least but still... dun forget to read and drop manyak manyak komen tau!

Will be back with more juicy gossips from trip. Faster happy holiday me!

Ps: Evans, sorry lah, cant make it this Fliday…mak kan holiday! We arrange another time okeh. Dun worry, bab Chillis memang mak will claim punyer….keji tak. Ha ha ha!!

Hand Meme

Today Lau Niang feeling feeling want to do another meme. I was bloghopping as usual the other day and I came across this very interesting hand meme. You just post a picture of your hand in your blog. Tu jer…so fun kan? Wah…so exciting…I’m going to reveal a piece of flesh in my blog.

So ready or not? Here’s comes my hand…

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JANG!!!

Haaaah…..diva tak Lau Niang’s hand??? My hand going public of course must look glamour no less kan? So kena use props lah! The theme of my hand is Ms. Thailand. Ha ha ha!

But then.…being the diva that I am, of course 1 pic not enough lah right? Must put more pics. Even my hand also cam whore tau. So what can I do with 4 golden nails??

Makanlah beras wangi Chao Phraya. Seddaap!

Come here lil’ children…teacher sayang you….

Last but not least…tangan mak yang paling meletopz….

Talk to the hands…

Ridikulus

Just over the holidays, I spent the whole day spring cleaning at home with The Housemate. We were so lazy to go out, we even placed a home delivery for meals. So we took a break for dinner and we were watching an old Harry Potter DVD while eating. Now with all due respects to Harry Potter fans out there, I’m sorry to say I’m not really a big fan. It’s not like I hate it or something; it’s just that…well let’s just say I’m more of a Will & Grace/Desperate Housewife type.

So seeing how new I was to the fascinating world of wizards and magic, he provided me with some really insightful info bout the story and movie with full swing of enthusiasm. Yes people, our friend is another Harry Potter fan.

So there was this scene. Ya’ll know the Ridikulus spell right? You must be familiar with that right? Even my pet iguana knows that spell. So yeah, then The Housemate explained to me how the spell works.







The Housemate: You see this part? This is called the Ridikulus spell. You just think of something that you fear most and whatever things you imagine will appear in front of that door. Then you point the wand at it and say “Ridikulus” and your most feared phobia will turn into something funny. Nice huh?

Me: (busy picking out onions from my fried rice) Hmm…yeah…interesting. Do they have spells to turn these stupid onions into cheese or something edible?

The Housemate: (still hooked in the Ridikulus scene) You know, I bet its scary to have something that you’re most afraid of appear in front of you….in front of so many people. It’ll be so embarrassing huh? Say…what would appear in front of the door if you were to do this spell?

Me: (wide eyes...looking lost) Err….err…err……I dunno. A…. giant vagina??? Thaaat...would grow feelers and...butterfly wings after i cast the spell? We'll call it....the Ginafly! Ha ha ha!!!

The Housemate: (glaring at me) Gosh…you’re digusting!

Me: Hey….you’re the one who asked….