tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72298249126907391672024-02-19T14:27:46.489+08:00Lau NiangUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger102125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-32722272339034836012010-09-13T23:56:00.002+08:002010-09-14T00:11:56.519+08:00Kisah Misteri Kasut Terbang<div style="text-align: justify;">Such a malufying day at gym today. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So i was doing my regular combat class. Lots of punching. And even more kicking. And when i kick, i kick ass. I was so in the zone okeh...so there's this track that requires me to do high high kicks ala Chun Li. Main kaki naik langit one. So i ma tendang all out lor. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Suddenly i saw 1 shoe flying in mid air. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">"Eh...whose shoe is that...look so familar one...yellow colour some more....like mine only i see..."</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">"Fark.....why is my right leg barefooted!!"</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">MAK MALUU!!!!</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I was standing smack in the centre of the class and there goes my striking yellow shoe flying in mid air in the middle of a class. And what's worse...my shoe landed on the girl in front of me. Landed on her shoulder and 2 inch away from her head. Walaupun i kena jelingan garang, I quickly apologized profusely and slipped on the shoe, pretend nothing happened and continued kicking. Clenching my toes inside my shoe now in fear of it flying for the second time...... </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Note to self: STICH the shoe lace to ankles so that it wont fly anywhere during combat class. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>lau nianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350551468022617671noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-49327241340162159412010-08-07T18:03:00.004+08:002010-08-07T19:03:49.008+08:00Keysah if Lau Niang is Money BoyIt feels so weird to be looking back at this all-too-familiar blog window.<br /><br />So much has happened since the last i blogged. Good and bad things. But close friends of mine never stopped encouraging me to start blogging again. It sure feels nice to be remembered and appreciated that way....so here i am...returning their kind gestures.<br /><br />So just recently, i was having this very interesting discussion with a fellow friend who now thinks he's a blogger. Larriikkk! Back to this interesting conversation. We were talking about....money boys. Not bitching about anyone in particular, but just discussing the issues in general.<br /><br />And that got me thinking. What does it feels like to be a money boy?? Not that i'm intending to be one (lau niang is not so cheapskate hor please...i can afford my own LV. Petaling street pon Petaling Street lah, at least its my own money and i didn't kill any mak datin and run away with her LV nor do i have to give blowjobs to 80 year old uncles on their death beds okeh)<br /><br />To my own understanding, a moneyboy is a person (hopefully male, and young enough) who goes after elder or more well to do men, makes them feels good and in return, spends their money to buy lavish things. And i say this with due respect. Not that i hate moneyboys. I have nothing against them. I only discriminate stupid and ugly people.<br /><br />It came to my knowledge that being a money boy is anything but simple. Its really not easy to make a man WILLINGLY spend money on you. You need good enough assets to entice and attract your targetted man first i'm told. Makes sense no? So a moneyboy needs to equip himself with such qualities to name a few:<br /><br /><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">a good and attractive physique.</span></strong> Ko hado???<br /><br /><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">a sweet sweet mouth who knows how to make the man feels like he owns the world.</span></strong> Mampu? mampu??<br /><br /><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">all the patience in the world. You can never throw tantrums or upset your man under any circumstances.</span></strong> Rela??<br /><br />If me....die lor. Who would want a moneyboy who has the same stats as Popeye's girlfriend with a molot so puaka even pontianak also run away crying and the PMS of a 40 year old virgin? Maybe they will pay me money to stay away kot.<br /><br />So i know lah, i don't have what it takes to be a moneyboy. But lets just make believe a little. I always admired this skill of moneyboys. Trust me its not easy to squeeze money from men at all these days. Especially typical chinese guys. They are trained to earn all the money in the world and make it a point to stuff all their wads of cash into their own coffin when they die. No one gets a dime. Wah Loi Toi says so. So i imagined a little of what would i do and say in a given situation.<br /><br />Me: Dear.....I want LV bag. Buy for me can or not?? Very cheap. 18 ribu only. I love you.<br /><br />Daddy: Cannot lah....we cannot be so materialistic one...<br /><br />Me: Umm.....but i wanna look good to you mah. You wanna feel proud being seen with me also right? I love you.<br /><br />Daddy: No, we have to be discreet in public. Cannot be so loud lah, wait my 4 wife and 18 grandchildren find out i die lah.<br /><br />Me: <s>Thats going to happen soon what.</s> Ok ok...then i hold the LV in a very manly way so that i look discreet ok? I love you.<br /><br />Daddy: No lah, that's not a good idea. How can you hold a bag in a manly way. Even without a bag you're not manly already. With bag then you look more woman than my 4 wife. I love the way you are now. U look very simple and charming. I love you too.<br /><br />Me: hummph....ok lor. Lets have dinner then. I feel like having Japanese. Ok for you?<br /><br />Daddy: Not today darling...i feel like char kuey teow.<br /><br />Me: KNNCCB chau ku niang......<br /><br />See....i'm not cut out to be a moneyboy. Told you so.lau nianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350551468022617671noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-71561449719862416222010-05-01T01:57:00.000+08:002010-05-01T01:58:07.633+08:00Hello RoyNow you believe?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-73669513745391640892009-07-20T23:05:00.002+08:002009-07-20T23:53:56.838+08:00Keysah Launiang Kena Kantoi Anime RogayahSo i was having a slow and peaceful weekend. I was lying in bed with my iced coffee and the chilly air con running....with my lappie on a lil' breakfast-in-bed table doing my photo editing job.<br /><br />While watching gay anime.<br /><br />Its not porn okeh. Just some gay themed cartoon so its no big deal lah.<br /><br />Not until mommy SUDDENLY pops in with ah niece in her arms going "Baby...see what uncle is doing....coochi coochi coo...."<br /><br /><s>Ya uncle is watching gay anime. Jangan kacau.</s><br /><br />I went like... "Fuck fuck fuckety fuck....faster go away!!! Please don't have any love scenes!!!"<br /><br />Did mommy go away??<br /><br />Not only did she NOT go away...she made herself comfortable by sitting beside me. And she started feeding ah niece with a FULL bottle of milk.<br /><br />You think that is the ultimate horror??<br /><br />Tup tup tup.....the two MALE AND GAY cartoon characters in tv started french kissing!!!!!!<br /><br />Lau Niang buat buat busy and very engrossed with my editing job konon konon like i tak perasan what just happened in tv okeh.<br /><br />After like an eternity of awkward silence....akhirnya mommy mengeluarkan statement cepumas.<br /><br />" You haven't been to church for a long time hor....."lau nianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350551468022617671noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-55378070383942406552009-07-09T16:47:00.006+08:002009-07-09T18:37:48.128+08:00Keysah Lau Niang Membuat Family PortraitLast weekend, i had the chance to do a long needed family portrait for my lil' niece. Ever since her birth a little over a month ago, ah niece has grown freakishly so much. See how much she's grown... <div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356397386613587314" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih8Q_qx6HKkhz4XxTTQpchmuBfga09TXEGf-WV-N40jS9e0WVDwCDLZN16CALmsnZ92tJEVQO-ThGBdQbR79Zqe_APFnhNEXNBzDCqXtSaAm3_f2iCj89PpXqWA8xNYUqFy9q-TvTmYTcz/s400/IMG_1658a.jpg" border="0" /><br />Ok it doesn't look that convincing in pictures. But she's huge in real. I put up this picture because its a nice shot only. Ha ha ha ha!<br /><br /><br />Anyways, it was a very casual but intimate shoot between ah niece and mommy and daddy. They were all candid shots; nothing posey (she's too young to learn posing 101. Wait 2 more years lau niang will train her to walk in 5 inch heels. And spin in them. ) I took under an hour to finish up the whole session (can't shoot too long pasal ah niece tidur mati macam balak. How you tickle her also tak bangun bangun. Gaya tidur sama macam mak. Larrriikkk!) </div><div></div><div><br />So here's some editorial shots of Ah Niece and mommy and daddy......</div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356397390342865778" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 267px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWyYmQd6otgUxZGlEY03hLDNUq6KCthKN6GJbmUsJAbjcK56zskD9qpZ-KBCX5tX1Jt8nNOjkAkqjuI_dtV5c2x_ay0U0Rw0Pge4BrJU6aCw8yQZrr3IjzFUr5jUllSQOVmDSk76lZslhR/s400/IMG_1665.jpg" border="0" /></div><div><br /></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356398139074510066" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 267px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJNvY__qDDUs-2XbEgBbkrFcTM4EJHWpbqyCiLulSvg9AvNs4gRTEOvJMKzWUD6_6bWQalGubBLPBzlr4SioM7ROzs00rYWt2eo5-0Q-PMf7YSxAWnVObA1sfUV3ye2VImcTSelRl7RJfv/s400/IMG_1707a.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356397396382768930" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsbEtuM1ZVJBRpzxUoCbFTtrFxDvMLo-h8yIkZKnBKyRWWBnvsyhyphenhyphendin5-dJhaq102enVLcL8gZVT7c-nI-K5ZIMizsexKfyeLdK_aHH_zxYSbtHSBI3qGj0p4D2HUGoGH4EdxZwT4qsEi/s400/IMG_1685a.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356397391548012146" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 313px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgal0EoymSFz6yo5etMPwY7EC3v0KQIzF6kaUQ4NjwwcI-OdWT_BfNyTW8PoNMfG0udrYoRzqNhtt5slxqHOiH898ZKaFnU8VMhCr1pI_2jCzVTYJisdLErXYcV8XpJeXU8nBLpNuX5Wnay/s400/IMG_1681a.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356398145828123874" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCFV-qlN2wiXrYzZMalp7CW-Z9zZjbCGAxZItVOpA-fTPG4GAOx1he83eu6xcizZzSEGvgPiD930LuwmiX6e58to1RTQuPDw1cNv148F0vzU56jfQPtnC3yeM-BcePRnvuA3M5RYE60o39/s400/IMG_1713a.jpg" border="0" /><br />And how can i do without artsier shots. Tak sahlah macam tu kan.....</div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356398124798234578" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEispvGc1u9q4xVfkIM0HxnsPe7Y0g3AJEsB_yYZhVLO4zAJxJDRaDsThEuGfltq2Anaru-AZK9jY3KOqJcnuJLIOyEYQTmQL7chC79pSkobDpnd5JOWJgu9E6chWhpx_FBQrQmsTUtBoa5q/s400/IMG_1699aa.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzD-COPihR-YoChxEpEIJkr8IeejgulqoxUTRaDVoHnkm_fwZVlBAgJD2xh4WtSV4fi3Y2BU8-ImibRUdDCGsKSYj0R1CE0TjpXEoHRSYfvi2IX8gShBFMIJEhOrYd09D76gp_m1Dg0Hf8/s1600-h/nude.bmp"></a><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356398131262617298" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ9GMRqLJBMX2uLTP7gFGA4kJ1X0QPKIJvecisnQr3csL3FBngRoyErXGJDfn1z3eJePiXyvg5SaDC64EabgyNjPyXsSPRGuCYXPmnc5YPtj_tNupUoD1SXZYXjoZRlSSGOQ1vB6HVrGc5/s400/IMG_1701a.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356397399518011666" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyYMciFS0oMrybHg7cpeY0zcb5lX1eF2RRlvqIBooVwZXYUnmc6R_p0YOYeg_aNgkNfj79g97rl1BvLzavjd-vgA3aW-hdU5J5GeJa7wvE6SYO7bulRG-iDjwcAP0oDnAOUfVlOB7AlVrI/s400/IMG_1694a.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />And i saved one last pic for the last. One of my favourite shots. </div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356398146357828562" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1uqClDwp_e_Rv0lWxFsmbaNVkYfM0ERSqRJ63-1xOZNOGdqVg2YG6y8jNsQ3X0c8JAipu_qcLsFJhj_K0gwSFtyab7eg0Uf1bLNQUxjFIfkxDX45wJSPZVAD4tyw-Wo2Bqf3EbakuR3GL/s400/IMG_1722a.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />Really rare to get such angelic combination of serenity, innocence with an edgy angle in a single picture. </div><div></div><div><br />So dengan shameless nyer, sapa sapa nak buat portrait dan photoshoot yang vas vas can always e mail lau niang okeh?? ha ha ha h ha ha!<br /><div> </div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>lau nianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350551468022617671noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-53236385173523470612009-06-24T13:14:00.005+08:002009-06-24T14:44:56.463+08:00Keysah Lau Niang Membuat Extreme Makeover<a href="http://www.perkierthanyou.com/">Perky</a> is so gonna fry me for stealing her thunder but.....chak chak chak chak.....ada aku keyssahh???<br /><br />So storynyer like this....about like a month ago....Perky berangan nak baby baru macham Angelina Jolie. After having 2 cats with eating disorder (seriously, perky's cats needs lyposuction and believe me, its not for beauty purpose...larrriiik) Perky berangan wanna have a dog this time plak.<br /><br /><br /><br />Knowing that my dad has good contacts in dealing with canine pets, she pon assigned me to find a puppy.<br /><br />One that doesn't hate her. Opps.<br /><br />One that isn't taller than her. Opps.<br /><br />One that won't bark at her at sight.Opps.<br /><br />One that won't piss on her. Opps.<br /><br />Then came the brainstorming and consultation session. Big question of what is the right breed to get with the right budget.<br /><br /><br /><br />Finally...my dad found 4 newborn toy poodles. Lau niang ma go and check stock 1st lor. See see the dog come one like....<br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350766699469402722" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5cJJMxD_ed8Yovjk-GEjqC1B3KUJMuYHRwurRzryrwYQyz4ttkmXKJ0mPFJU-a6L4M3bxDttTm3YGU7fGJv-eksBOvsINHNasfj-QjTRvQGPZQQYsI5ptBjxnAz3_zk4Hu906zE9dF_UT/s400/Sasha.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br /><br />Toing!!! Aiyo....acelly the dog look ok one but dunno why look so huru hara in picture. I know perky would like her but.....aihhh......how to convince her with such a horrorful pic? Mata kuyu, bulu nipis, expression blank, rambut tak perm.....Look like anjing cinderella yang kotor dan busuk dipungut dari parit lor.<br /><br /><br /><br />When Perky 1st saw the pic....terus kena label world's most unphotogenic dog. Haah...amek kau. But i keep telling her the dog looks better in real...hoping that she will buy my story.<br /><br /><br /><br />My dad redeemed the dog about a week before perky came to collect it. And after good food and good bath and good camera, akhirnya poodle menjadi siap.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350766702557779906" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJWJnlQn-ejpw9b3NMXGtIyxS7ILjB_EhEbhg46n29h3iRm-Y4G-KhbUSgFcdwJ_lhr4WDIFz9hJY0AtWlY1_mfXBm15QeZ9vHp_9fVN5HtIKbninDUAUGXUNGpwJ0o1i2WdCo8qI9WCUh/s400/IMG_1535.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />JANG!!! Muka berjaya dengan suksesnya. It was love at 1st sight when everyone saw Sasha for the 1st time. Yep that's her name. Sasha. Thankfully, poodles are very sociable by nature so there are no strangers to Sasha. She would just jump and prance around ANYBODY. Heck, even my 3 year old cousin tried to dognap her. He wrestled his own mother and cried in a failed attempt to run away with Sasha. Ha ha ha ha! Definitely Perky's kind of dog.<br /><br />Here's more shots of Sasha after undergoing my Modelling 101's intensive class....<br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350766708429139634" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1dvPpSBsqhSA-KXSorYneAm5io4__b0UqFXeSkDsM3xODgYpLBdcmp-EnICgUQOisPeRoaCNfPWBUKxfEc21Ss__YfwsfFXCOyhgWm5bK9G1cQTmFZPJt16pOwO3pWtrG6Ki9WZmUFPlO/s400/IMG_1532.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350766712274974194" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 389px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRiiRkhn1zUGfseuH2fl_ZqNEZYuUZjcS40mYqylF7e0xETriTqXieJjlH8kDKkgv_qXK8mzZiQwARdTeamFGWioEuaGqLbr1Mm5jEqYGIh6kkep7Uk1FUkFzMJUbQ4edL6nNIBBquIfsc/s400/IMG_1531.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350766715114672130" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 354px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinHnOLgPl0kR6Cn5hPcwSOJpp_iBsjGyY5lXLLk4hHwo9Rh-leitBM5CO3pePt6LcjWgZVY4-4-sefpdjPgNJtNFszqe4X0pa4OUaVsv-_XMZkh7RnIG9izblHUr10Zfa2lqks3ekf3_Um/s400/IMG_1530.jpg" border="0" /><br />Is it just me or does Sasha reminds you of Susan Boyle??<br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350772478112821618" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 323px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_WEDQwa-Rr6kOdKFLTdVpsNub_P6l49elUhhTNe7Fs29Ppfl-tdmCBVk96yfufKYNdbE5tEBp3mr2GPgbnP2iOPQeZWyJVzgxdSWy8txO9Ec4D2sTkTqEn7NVtUrr_YGtjkfyh3UhnsBt/s400/susan-boyle.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div>lau nianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350551468022617671noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-54895600084564748522009-06-22T23:57:00.002+08:002009-06-23T00:56:30.281+08:00Keysah Lau Niang Menjadi PorcupineFor the past week, i have been suffering under what i call THE worst neckache i've EVER had in my life. You know those neck aches you get when you slept on the wrong position on bed then you wake up not being able to look up, left or right? Yeah...<br /><div><div></div><div></div><div><br />It lasted almost a whole fucking week.<br /></div><div></div><div></div><div><br />I tried twisting my neck towards the painful side with force hoping that it will 'pop' only to cause more pain.<br /></div><div></div><div></div><div><br />I tried those Salonpas medicated plasters. Did not help at all.<br /></div><div></div><div></div><div><br />I tried sleeping on 3 pillows. Did not sleep at all.<br /></div><div></div><div><br /><br />It wasn't until i went back to my hometown complaining to Lau lau niang...lau niang's Ah Bu lah. Its amazing how she can listen to my constant new complains every week when i go back. She immidiately took me to a chinese doctor. I was in so much pain i'd try anything. Heck i'm even willing to go to a vodoo shaman let alone a chinese doctor.<br /></div><div></div><div><br /><br />The doctor squeezed my neck a little and he immediately knew that i left the pain for a few days at least. He was so right. By the time i got there, my shoulders were already stiff from the swelling. I also had the chance to ask the doctor who or what was the culprit behind my neck ache from hell. And he said either i<br /></div><div></div><div><br />a) carried heavy things and dislocated my shoulder (no way this delicate oriental flower is carrying anything heavy so...fail)<br /></div><div></div><div><br />or<br /></div><div></div><div><br />b) sit in front of the computer too long (DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!)</div><div></div><div><br />Lau niang is guilty of <s>surfing porn</s> doing masters dissertation like orang gila over the weekends. Maklumlah ada hati nak jadi successful career woman lau niang pun type thesis non stop. Like from 8pm till 5am non stop okeh. Serious shit. I wish it was sex instead. I guess that must have been it.<br /></div><div></div><div> </div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350183369181237330" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 265px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhijFd45FDd8uxKsmCTjZKw-cCPLXby3bTHRMbNUphjIIcrw94E4JM_N85lCh_7wyY7of6B_96R6w4MjujbZcoRXOSckemepdQ17JSD9PFh6NW06wDd27iIOp3mwvO37Bk6L8h9bU_f23bV/s400/strains.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />It was so bad until the doctor said i needed to do accupuncture and a massage.<br /></div><div></div><div><br /><br />You know what is accupuncture???<br /></div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350183365334337666" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 248px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkg9SrtTxkjyrielFBwkHWkLZuAudn1VqA3EuPMKeRwOZTDsl4VouP8sxfa4yMR8k-oofV-tGmsFB41kxDm1JemoOq4dB5G60IWSCMbSn-zjF-ewn5OsAeUCsoyQ7H4xbqWYNFDopIAE_b/s400/hellraiser.jpg" border="0" /></div><div></div><div><br />Ok ok ok i'm being a drama queen. But its quite similiar i tell you. Seriously, i did not see an accupuncture coming at all. I was expecting some cream or pills perhaps. But accupuncture?! At 1st impression, i was kinda weirded out, scared but yet excited. It'll be like....getting a new tattoo. Heh heh.<br /></div><div></div><div><br />Being the huge sick fan of pain that i am, the accupuncture was of course....very very bearable. On a scale of 1 to 10 of pain...i'd give it a 1.5. But i was poked at some of the weirdest spots. I had like over 20 needles all over my shoulder, neck and...head. I had fucking needles on my head. Its freaking weird.<br /></div><div></div><div><br />Then i was left (with the needles on) to bake under a heating lamp for half an hour. Like an iguana. It was the most boring half hour of my life. I din have my phone around to play with and i was scared to sleep. What if i tidur mati, and i started tossing and turning until the needles get buried INSIDE my neck and <span style="color:#ff0000;">*gasp*</span> HEAD?? No way in gay hell i'm going to be a permanent porcupine okeh.<br /></div><div></div><div><br />Finally the nurse came and remove all my needlees. I thought the worst was over.<br /></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350183362235323106" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 360px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 252px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEP3CRdPKtG4y7U7it_Pdp7_tFavNu-nIBXwIQvSGNnY-HdVjLWN76h8e15EJnCVA2O44gnORHFcuhgfVTvP1IDhIpSN6uCi_1ynIdlR3n4EdXc3O-xYuXD3tCyxAgGoHqAeKU2IrT-22t/s400/149.jpg" border="0" /></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div><br />Just after that, came along a blind massuer who started squeezing my neck. This is not those sleazy body to body kinky massage okeh. This is massage package neraka. The massuer had insanely strong hands and he was squeezing and wringling and kneading and punching my shoulders and neck in the most unimaginable ways. And i never knew such level of pain existed. At some point, i thought he tried to dismember my arms from my shoulders. With his bare hands. This is no where near the pain of accupuncture. OR tattooing. Yes its more painful that 8 hours of tattooing. I wish i was dead instead.<br /></div><div></div><div><br />By the time the session ended, my entire back is so sore so much so i''m distracted by the pain on my neck. Which is still there by the way.<br /></div><div></div><div><br />But at least i can turn my neck and the pain somewhat subsided many many hours later. So here i am on a monday night, still in pain, typing my blog and getting ready for work tomolo. Lets just hope i won't look like a hunchback Quasimodo tomolo....</div></div></s></s><br /><br /><s><s></s></s>lau nianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350551468022617671noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-55944697112136165152009-06-09T00:58:00.006+08:002009-06-09T02:38:20.333+08:00Keysah Lau Niang Become Ibu MithaliLast weekend, lau niang got an ACTUAL TASTE of what is it like to be a parent. See my aunt <strike>dumped</strike> dropped my little cousins at my place over the weekend because <strike>she's had it</strike> they're on a their school holidays. So i have to babysit them for the day.<br /><br /><br /><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345002807373711042" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZE5jZRQBpPzjMrWNHhpJ40Xw6dNN_YVhHSYbWNwhS-kIzDT-r8QgD7xGh8m6hod5Q67g4D4tT2ftPwZjlJFoqVroAmrk4Yc1-3d-6SRhyphenhyphenZrGcf7k-gHRq8LT6CyXhECcJq2i2TLSxZOdj/s400/IMG_9522.JPG" border="0" /></div><br /><div>Being the uptight ambitious perfectionist i am, i was all hyped up to make sure they have a real fun day. I planned my itenaries in detail. Its fun packed, its energetic, its foolproof. The kids are so gonna love me after this. <em><span style="color:#009900;">*Evil grin*</span></em> Pick the kids up at 10am, off to the butterfly park, lunch at Mc Donalds, off to the Zoo and another park. </div><br /><div>I was so confident. </div><br /><div>But we all know what is akibat confident. The kids were so hyper. God knows where they get their energy from. By the end of the day i can barely walk or talk. Fell flat on the couch the minute i reach home. You'll see why. </div><br /><div>With the assistance of my younger sis, we were all set for the day. 10 am...off to the butterfly farm. </div><br /><div>15 minutes upon entry...</div><br /><div><em><span style="color:#ffcc00;">*Innocent butterfly lands on cousin's arm*</span></em></div><br /><div>Cousin: Kor kor...i very scared. Can we go home now?</div>*<br /><div>Me: What?! We only came in here for 15 minutes. Don't you like the butterfly? You told me you liked butterflies. </div>*<br /><div>Cousin: No i don't like them now. Can we go home?</div>*<br /><div>Me: <em><span style="color:#ff0000;">*grumble grumble*</span></em> ok...we follow this way. This is the way home. <em><span style="color:#ff0000;">*grumble grumble*</span></em></div>*<br /><div>We walked on until we had to cross is stupid cave. They cuba cuba cute try to make exciting like got cave konon konon lah. </div>*<br /><div>Cousin: Kor kor i very scared. I don't want to enter. </div>*<br /><div>Me: There's no butterflies in there. I promise. </div>*<br /><div>Cousin: I saw something in the water. </div>*<br /><div>Me: Those are tadpoles.....</div>*<br /><div>Cousin: I scared of tadpoles....can you carry me?</div>*<br /><div>Glares at sis..... "You settle!" *runs off....*</div>*<br />12pm....moving to cultural park. </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>Kids enter kampung house and starts enacting Star Wars fighting scene with empty bottles as light sabres....</div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Me: Oiii.....cannot fight in the house!! Come come we take pictures... (Cuba distract kids)</div><div></div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345002815429504866" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhldqvRxtGvQSNw46wfR52f_Wf1KN7ahz6VqptF1MXVyrsIiSF1mmT3JJ0oNUBwazibjSuQo3MS7pzpGtAFvzhuMIU3xY5JI6Kp_ZJLO27aVGi-O39iGBIgThRpKqpQRiYOuHYHIOZFgOp2/s400/IMG_9536.JPG" border="0" /></div><div></div><div>Me: Oii....don't play with the props! Wait uncle catch you...cannot touch..put down!! </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Leaves kampung house and continue walking on. Cousin spots a giant mushroom. </div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345002811460144098" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0IzvCkN8hgc3maleoreEUZnh5_XReLZX08BuQ8BdgVr5yJ4Zq1YBkcP6ZQQd-eV6Kz_Qu5avTGQsY_ax3HgllaCo0vF3VWSm1kTgc4QVlFns8ddFYsJGWJ4XESLpthalEwAMu4G2CZuYq/s400/IMG_9529.JPG" border="0" /></div><div></div><div>Cousin: Kor kor is that mushroom real?</div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Me: Of course not. </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Cousin: Can i eat it? I love mushroom burger. </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Me: The mushroom is taller than you. The mushroom will eat you instead. </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Cousin: .............( he must be thinking what kind of siau relative he has. Ada aku keysah? NAN ADO.) </div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div>1.30pm Lunch at MacDonald. </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Me: Ok...what do you want to eat?</div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Random screams: I WANT CHICKEN! I WANT RIBENA! I WANT MAC WINGS! </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Me: Here no Mac Wings lah. <em><span style="color:#ff0000;">*grumble grumble -matilah mak bankrupt- grumble grumble*</span></em></div><div><em><span style="color:#ff0000;"></span></em> </div><div></div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345003264829002722" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS3QZvXpO-jfELKKoY7cRQ_wOfUxphBxjmIzinkE__2ZB0wGaW1baieulY9FIl9SXVVZjXiS1FRt5RXCcbqiJwY_gMd_d4NkWBLqaNobkpDIOr-qZWTup3nt1fz776aqyhL0XZXN3Zg6Rt/s400/IMG_9574.JPG" border="0" /></div><div></div><div>Cousin: * Serangan muka cute* Can i have the toy? </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Me: Err....we're going to the zoo after this. How can you go zoo and carry toys? Wait the monkeys snatch your toy how? We buy later ok? Eat nugget eat nugget. (Sebenarnya kedekooot)</div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>2.30pm to the zoo...</div><div></div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345006104405480434" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAxmXaHxssuk_Qr7RJDTGz944SRuJ6maGaX_lOa_9kDxZkGY4oR1eHpUxaGdJO9zFta692RnTRpGGZRIXboaJOfcpevlLGlBRKUIfgyFIYfPPSDdJg_eBtnuC3cdxemz1Iqs5VKmrmlXVe/s400/IMG_9607.JPG" border="0" /></div><div></div><div>10 minutes upon entry...</div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Me: Oiii....cannot throw rubbish at the animals!! </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Sis: Eh don't bang the cage like that!! </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Me: Stop making faces at the animal...wait they get angry and eat you up!! </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Sis: Two of you stop running!! Cannot go so far...!!</div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>I dinch notice how many people were staring at us shrieking at the kids. 30 seconds later....</div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Me: Oiii....i said cannot throw rubbish at the animal lor!!</div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Cousin: I never i never. I throw stick only. </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Somebody kill me already. Pleeaaseee!!! </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>We walked on until the kids saw some ponies. </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345009795474213186" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9zKQ6OO2m0Y8na2LhD657B8J_AZ9yWBiozrbMvVWPLowVJv7MVLErrIQakoyA3XinQ26E07oRFqOD03z6ymZcLZYYw08bgCHPAB9YjbOiCtd-xSZw-V1LjwXawL8sazQ3FDbPq4RbKmj9/s400/IMG_9574.JPG" border="0" /></div><div></div><div>Cousin: *Serangan muka cute kali kedua* Can i ride the pony?</div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Me: Cannot. </div><div>.</div><div>.</div><div>.</div><div>.</div><div>.</div><div>.</div><div>.</div><div>.</div><div>.</div><div>.</div><div>. </div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345003259232586178" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX1-YDdi_9XewGpzA7MlxCqzCuORfnHPPkYe_rH9Jv2D240e8RYqw0M-SzUmUFwl1EC85sGmCIkSk6AFdcI6XMYw9l4JCQJqNZgMC2Xs3QMWX7EtgUQSQDIqHBpfFCAT-poqJ1s6lCyU9v/s400/IMG_9558.JPG" border="0" /></div><div></div><div>Me: Sigh.................</div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div>Never in my whole life had i imagined i have to pay for a kid's pony ride. Not just A kid. </div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345002811851484466" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEickxHo_CxF6R2-v3W9hhNxdu8Ea0uGgVG18_Tr9Su-uaDVhmVfLYM4lAZGrFShtfHGlY5-gPSNzq9EaNrfSu7FzoeRxZBPwgW2U99-dnG2_nCMAb15HbpteWytbHFJSLonobGINPZeI7-i/s400/IMG_9549.JPG" border="0" /></div><div></div><div>TWO kids. Good thing the eldest one thinks pony rides are dumb. I have never been so agreeeable before..... </div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>As difficult as it was to keep up with them...i guess the silly grins on the kid's faces made all the money (Rm2 for a 30 second round the tiny ranch pony ride. Really bluff small kids lor!) and rides worth it. Sit horse also so happy. I really don't get it. Not say sit on Ken Watanabe or Hugh Jackman also. </div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345003265677747410" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx_MIVR-JfMmKi6DnJIMez_cnSnUT_sVpmCFSVWYGtvQcBZifSkLQzGejnMW7nQGqDwkB1ZoGW-NQ-fVfE6yHP52UMbatuZCKRqhm0LOP67cED79UTUw4b5ohaGSh0ZcbPJFb87sl0dGlK/s400/page1.jpg" border="0" /></div><div></div><div>The pony however, weren't too excited to have my beruk-kena-belacan cousins on his back. </div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345003260803261122" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzmJ0m8KOVMdn2k5n6zKJEc-M6T7dFg2LsEaoW5keEHQApxQjqpjAJP-ix5dQGpN5ANtexwf0lzgURMyUjYLv0KIc76mwrRX7_G7aVL21m_0wNYHPwsHiC4DwagYY3UItOc1tWdRO8CbAS/s400/IMG_9555.JPG" border="0" /><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">*sob sob*</span></em> Apalah nasib mak...terpaksa ditunggang oleh budak setans. Dahlah upah ciput Rm2 pun kena rampas dengan abang horse....<em><span style="color:#ff0000;">*sob sob*</span></em></div><div></div><div></div><div>Then we saw deers. Ever noticed how ugly deers are??</div><div></div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345004235813968658" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGb00AjwiuL8AcKesuaxT9rblErZyq0XAM8azhSRxOi2HlcnDuIzRoaCUHeESvtgExMF3eLg7Posz4dvUOs1sXHSTbnhqbJSoBs_8dJ3kPT1g8yfgAry-J1zBjMCXZm_IGnrLTMl3BjYpH/s400/page2.jpg" border="0" /></div><div>They look like anorexic cows. No offense to all Bambi fans out there. </div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div>15 minutes later....</div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345009802567219250" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUXjlG9l3fL8JKHuLvjO6PPJ4zA3gTXKrbzowDATM0Y8l_xNwdJK7Et7sN4Ev3-Er0-F30iHQoKNn30dPGE8WUyASHhHoywGsGfkQ-ij1pFbvzvmc5h84B8kKGCdkgPcLv6ims2FtRbheK/s400/IMG_9574.JPG" border="0" /></div><div>Cousin: *Serangan muka cute kali ke3* Kor kor i'm tired. Can i have a piggy back ride?</div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Me: Oh no you don't. You're not coming anywhere near my camera kid...</div><div>*</div><div></div><div></div><div>Glares at sis.. "You settle!" Runs off to pretend snapping pictures of rocks. </div><div></div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345003264903574210" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_aBvqWK6rPYLYIPLuX5Aktdm0Jyu6PvKAdZC4G5mbSbCiPNDnBpnipu_8I0tVDowPJZ6Fm_JyuGa2AlIbO1CbqPPGLe7AFM6FtY-QA7ZMfj1Mcw3xn6k2WbB8hlw8YKYXSQ2N6bSNhW9N/s400/IMG_9572.JPG" border="0" /></div><div></div><div>Sis: <em><span style="color:#ff0000;">*Grumble grumble*</span></em> I'm so going to tell mom to disown you after this<em><span style="color:#ff0000;"> *Grumble grumble*</span></em></div><div> *</div><div></div><div></div><div>Then <strike>they</strike> we piggy backed the kids to the bird...area. Department. Whatever. </div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345006104213073810" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5pzB4eP2xP08w5bI5FakaKZ63Y28WPssi9wdCoGW2e8A8plf0U8xkIWW-4RYx2LUAgr8jARokalOiJqdPZcRADRuHqiWhIdZYsPxzJGJA5emSLZ0E-3z1DmS6JXS8-1zVuGPmXg30MH_M/s400/IMG_9584.JPG" border="0" /></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>Me: Please tell me those gates have locks. Can we just lock them with the storks and drive off?</div><div>*</div><div></div><div>Sis: You wish..!</div><div>*</div><div></div><div>After over 2 hours of rounding in the zoo, we finally came reach the exit. Unfortunately, cousins spotted a playground. Arrrrghhhhh!!!</div><div>*</div><div></div><div>Sis: Ok....we're leaving in 10 minutes time.</div><div>*</div><div></div><div>Cousin: No no no.....1 hour more. </div><div>*</div><div></div><div>I can drop dead in the middle of the playground already okeh. By the end of the day both me and my sis were too tired to even complain or talk to each other. </div><div>*</div><div></div><div>So any readers out there who wishes to raise kids.....think THRICE. This WILL be your routine weekend. </div><div>*</div><div></div><div>Paying for pony rides. </div><div>*</div><div></div><div>Screaming at kids in public. </div><div>*</div><div></div><div>Buying lunch enough for 3 starving families in Ethiopia only to have kids eat half of the portion.</div><div>*</div><div></div><div>Piggy back rides thak kills your shoulders. </div><div>*</div><div></div><div>Screaming and jumping in the car. </div><div>*</div><div></div><div>Sitting lifelessly at playgrounds while waiting for kids to be done. </div><div> </div><div></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345002810422986402" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv6szIjtrxLbGnXbrQmmxr391p9NtjoWeOcPI1VaHQgzOYs_PlBCBwVdOzNWb-hH0Vqf7jrTlOKurry1aMikRZnKgpep05WZB_lN1U5x6jq6fVflOG6A_JmcHJrkYcbk7qlYNML1uMDINN/s400/IMG_9525.JPG" border="0" /></div><div><br />SO....who's up for a fun fun fun day with the kids? HMMM???? </div><div> </div><div>*</div><div>PS: My little niece just cried coz she got frightened by her own fart. How cute.<br /></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>lau nianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350551468022617671noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-30737990774296349602009-05-26T22:59:00.005+08:002009-05-26T23:38:19.715+08:00Keysah Lau Niang kini bergelar Lau AuntyLast weekend was a super drama weekend. 25th may marked the arrival of lau niang's very 1st niece lei....! Lau niang become lau aunty jor! My new niece came a week earlier than expected thus causing a little panic in the family...everyone wasn't expecting the baby until the following week mah. But here she is...a week earlier.<br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340148079660434994" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQURIwENhINN8y28WoOxtE9Xhd_ZjeM0iAXbVrFW1W_JeXAPMzsycIXs-dd5ePJrDVYF-3q4Lmj88WKrZ26M05twZB3-uQQNjaYqG0un3dq61AdugbB04M6KFG1KrskksqzNBBMXmylQUA/s400/IMG_9508a.JPG" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />This is a shot of her right after labour. As you can see, she is disturbingly fat but healthy. Not even at 9 full months, baby is oledi 3.5 kilo yer. About the size of Pamela Anderson's right boob i think. The poor girl is wet, naked and exposed to the FREEZING temperature of the OR. Seriously i didn't know an OR is THAT cold. You can freeze meat inside lor. Tapi ada aku keysah? Cold or not tetap i stop the doctor so that lau niang can photoshoot ah niece 1st okeh. 1st meet is very signigicant must take picture one okeh!<br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340148073962921218" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaAA1s1AJTKvXdEE2RGNZhUAKafm21MQGepg6Rn2lzT5gIrG7GVw6G150C3cj9zEIw8vfDWtEPst6pWBn8mlpf_fZS2UcgCRRnD_xjRpv6KJQGatGMfoOAxegXuXuF3msCnIiPkEdApHYF/s400/IMG_9501a.JPG" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />Right after ah niece got cleaned up, she fell fast asleep. Thankfully she's quite a peaceful baby. She's never cried in front of lau niang before. Smart of her....mak dah siap bawak rotan to hospital in case she cry for no reason, lau niang will rembat okeh...but she's rather mischevious. See she sleep also nak main bubble. Hish!<br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340148085640587170" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuEn0l27pGTzinJjgU9QP7hh3_gvfGzeHjjWIQdpzH_n3ZtuAjU4IP_kkU1VS-UaSkMuFx9UwVFRBkYMEqisgh_gwgjLcBT1ySid9tvoqpX1Zvj1P4i632jkVlP23I-yS8kDTXT3CvyheJ/s400/IMG_9516a.JPG" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />On the next day, ah niece started feeding oledi. My sis tried feeding her nen nen but gagal dengan dahsyat. Not because my sister got no nen nen but Ah niece still dunno what is nen nen and why does it keep rubbing against her tiny face. So the nurse fed her instead. Using bottle not her own nen nen i hope. Very disturbing thought. I dunno why is Ah Niece is frowning after feeding here. I think maybe the nurse fed her Susu Pisang HL. Remember the <a href="http://launiang.blogspot.com/2008/01/hl-milk-massacre.html">horror</a>??<br /><br /><br />Anyways, we are all very happy and we can't wait to bring Ah Niece back home. So much to be done. Must teach her how to catwalk in heels lah, must teach her to speak Prada lah, must teach her how to do high fashion pose lah.....wah lau niang is damn busy okeh!<br /><br /><br />Oh and about the tattoo on my tummy, thank god the mark is all gone oledi. Berkat all your laser and prayers ( sapa laser sapa doa tau tau sendiri okeh, we don't point fingers...tunggu saja tuhan menunjukkan kuasa) my mark also heal jor.<br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340148447793773778" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmihpZCgnRew2cUAQPVoN3bawBP1sAyNTHEfp_mOtQ9KJP912wnaql5gOagDxpVz3SQMs09aLZFuFepbVnUrepdHMCaDZQ7E5aoEI2yTtPELa1Y2jMJyq2_q9ZKqkXvtalgpEnL81qyWY/s400/guys-beach-body-six-pack-400a050307.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />See.....my tummy back to normal original condition again. Nice nice again no more zebra jor. :Dlau nianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350551468022617671noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-65891035890901840362009-05-20T19:35:00.003+08:002009-05-20T20:04:53.052+08:00Keysah Lau Niang Mendapat Tattoo BaruDear Readers,<br /><br />Today lau niang did a new tattoo. Sebab tak nak kalah to Dan Henry. Memang vicious hasad dengki kan.<br /><br />But lau niang <strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">TERRRR</span></strong>buat the tattoo. Dinch realize. Accidentally.<br /><br />How did it happen????<br /><br />Let's rewind the day back to a few hours earlier. 4.30 PM. T'was a bright sunny evening. Weather is marvelous for a dip in the pool. So that's what i did lor. Lau Niang terus pakai my 2 piece bikini and sasha fierced to the pool for a nice dip and tanning session.<br /><br />The weather was just so so nice. I lied on my back and my right arms and legs were paddling lightly in the pool. I could feel the warm heat of the sun on my back. The heat was so pampering, subtle and not the scorching type. It was just the kind of winding off i needed badly from a long day's work. I started drifting into my own mind just being there enjoying the cooling waters and warm sunny evening and zzzzzzzzzz..................<br /><br />Yes i fucking fell asleep. Beside the pool. Like a sea lion.<br /><br />Tup tup tup i woke up and saw my watch its already past 6pm. I <strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">LITERALLY</span></strong> slept like <strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">AN HOUR AND A HALF</span></strong> by the pool! Without changing side! I was still in the exact same position when i woke up and guess what happen?<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337871442198492722" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7h7nhw2ynexXebIfs3s6o0feb2_EdcPk4zbAV_enyQRWKShL3Dpl-5B7X4qfqpTtjKY-G9_5Pyv6eLZNrdDAPqWuR5wrPsFQbAAvE9Qp_R3rD_h1x9ff4BpJJaa-AiO5g9KQsfFFL0Dvr/s400/20052009200a.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />This picture was taken at 8pm. Over 4 hours later. And the marks are still there! What if i am permanently scarred?!? Matilah i have to die as janda nyonya tua zebra. How to kahwin Ken Watanabe like that....apom pun kena off light so sad you know. Doctor Crab also tak hadap.<br /><br />Worst thing is i dunno if anyone was there while i was asleep. What would they think....what will you think in your mind if you see someone snoring by the pool? I so scared got auntie auntie passing by the pool and they start whispering about lau niang.<br /><br /><em><span style="color:#009900;">" Aiyer so kesian this boy....nude and homeless....have to sleep in swimming pool. Ah boy you dont go near him wait you also will become like him. You want to be homeless and sleep at swimming pools mou? If not then better study hard hard...." </span></em><br /><br />Like seriously. Have you ever met a greater idiot. Only lau niang is capable of such things. Not that its something to be proud of.<br /><br />Sapa nak sponsor SKII scar removal whitening cream with pitera that causes Sammi Cheng to go "Poink Poink" (on her face, not henjot atas katil, please dun be so hamsap) to lau niang?<br /><br />Merk Depression......!!!!!lau nianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350551468022617671noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-44335236349808488002009-05-18T23:29:00.003+08:002009-05-18T23:59:56.058+08:00Keysah Lau Niang dapat manyak presentsLau Niang so so terharu today. Got my friend gimme very voge da vass present you know! Today got one of my friend gave me a bottle of perfume that i've been drooling over but can never afford to buy myself.<br /><br />Its none other than:<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337187251996134610" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 187px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 209px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrjsJ-SJuwiCqzHfgwO8KghpdGv9U2ajnZ7hJYsyOmn98iCjh-fHQg7LwDYZrw8vclIXHDL_3S-Z54gXVJABxdT-o72nW3DFLIDUSSWZXh-8ooWWcC4K6fp18qZb12DDsRwAh2gY4-ykWx/s400/armani.bmp" border="0" /><br><br />Haaa......kelass tak. And please hor....is not sample bottle okeh. Its the 1.5 litre one hor. Ok lah maybe not 1.5L but its the biggest size okeh. I know its only a perfume. Not a big deal but this really means something to me lor.<br><br /><br />You see, this is actually my very 1st bottle of perfume. I never use scents before all along. Hah...rahsia terbongkar. I have some personal reasons though. First off, i can never distinguish the scent of all the so many available perfumes in the market. I know there should be a difference but i just didn't bother to test test the smell.<br><br /><br />Why i takda keysah? Pasal mak tak mampu. Very kesian case but that is the truth. 1 bottle of perfume costs hundreds and with that money i can feed 5 somalian families. Ok maybe i'm not Mother Theresa but still, i can use that amount of money for something more important or productive lor. That's what i always thought; that's why until now tak pernah pernah beli perfume.<br><br /><br />So how did lau niang came to like armani's code black?<br><br /><br />Let's rewind all the way back to last Valentine's Day. That day hor, a friend from singapore visited me. We went shopping and he treated me to a posh japanese dinner and even bought 4 pairs of private structures for me.<br><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337187253655617090" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqSZ30lzVptFeJ02iNadngP8DKbkNU4Q9fkuMLt0o6TPMnb5xYtTZbV9MMoRP61asBcBKxOqupMrnzioXe6DmY6kkHFK9bbTO4xrSu6Ulr-oJtuzIjjaj-xuIC1ZH4vYCnrJbdq59JaVlV/s400/P-structure.jpg" border="0" /><br><br /><br />Please jangan dengki i have generous friends and you don't okeh. After we shopped for my panties, he took me to the perfume department coz he wanted to buy a perfume for his bf. Lau Niang ma follow lor. So i was just loitering about until i was suddenly drawn to the Armani counter. Bukan pasal perfume wangi. Pasal the counter got giant poster of abang topless yang sweaty. Tup tup tup the promoter gave me a strip of paper to smell. Lau niang ma smell lor.<br><br /><br />I didn't know what brand was the scent but it really intruiged me. Smelled kinda fruity and musty....i actually liked it. I asked about the brand and found out its an Armani Code and only to discover that it costs like RM180 for the small bottle. Wah lau!<br><br /><br />My generous friend actually wanted to buy for me already but i too segan lor...coz he alrady spent like how many hundred on dinner and my panties. So i went home full of panties but perfumeless that day. Kinda cursed myself for being so stupid to reject such an offer. But i tak sampai hati to spend my friend's money like that mah.....<br><br /><br />And because Lau Niang is maha pengasih and penyanyang yang disayangi oleh tuhan and everyone, god also bless lau niang....chun chun this friend of mine present me the very same brand that i've been lusting over for so long.<br><br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong>VERY TERHARU OKEH.....!!</strong></span><br><br /><br />Is box set some more lei...inside got perfume size nala plus deodorant of the same scent. My ketiak will wangi for the next whole year. Ha ha ha ha! Oh and inside the box got free sample also. The name Gio de Acqua....very refreshing smell also....lau niang suka.<br><br /><br />Who wanna present me Gio de Acqua??<br><br /><br />Hint yang sangat tak malu.<br>lau nianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350551468022617671noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-82593889487115887972009-05-11T19:03:00.004+08:002009-05-11T23:36:37.665+08:00Keysah Orang Hina DenialHave you ever come across individuals who just has this <strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">OBSSESSED NEED</span></strong> to be better and above than everyone else? Simply put, i am talking about people with <em>"kiasu"</em> attitude. Popularly coined by Singaporean culture, this terminology simply refers to individuals who are extremely competitive and always makes a point that if someone has something, you must have it too. A bigger and better one.<br /><br /><br /><br />Even if it means <strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">MAKING UP STORIES.</span></strong><br /><br /><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;">"You got house in US i got mansion in Canada. "</span></em><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;"></span></em><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;">"You just earned your 1st million, I'm already a MULTI millionaire. "</span></em><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;"></span></em><br /><br /><span style="color:#ffff00;"><em>"You got 100 for all subject, i also got 100 AND i'm president of my club and uniform unit."</em> </span><br /><br /><br /><br />Shits like that you know? I am sure everyone must know AT LEAST 1 person of such behaviour. This is not a personal attack against anyone in particular let me make clear first. Its just that i've been bogged by so many of such similar people for the past month it actually makes me wonder.<br /><br /><br /><br />I've come across such people at work, in my social circle of friends, and yes....even relatives. It literally saddens me to see people living in such denial.<br /><br />Why try so hard to be someone you're OBVIOUSLY NOT in a pathetic desperate attempt to impress others? End up smearing shit in your own face making yourself look even more ridiculous than you already are.<br /><br />Why must one INSIST to be smarter or richer or more successful then the rest? Ultimately, there'll always be someone richer or smarter out there. Kau lawan kaya with Oprah Winfrey or Bill Gates lah if you really that rich.<br /><br />Can't these people just come clean and simply admit that they are just as 'regular' as the rest and not boast about your non-existent inheritence or paper qualifications? If kena kantoi you don't own any of those at the end of the day kan lebih malu? Nobody will look down on you if you are not rich or whatever lah please.<br /><br />The other thing i noticed about such people is that they are <strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">VERY CLEVER</span></strong> in dodging and making excuses if you ask any further about their assets. Lau Niang give you one classic example okeh:<br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;">Kiasu: I got house in Gold Coast you know....</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;">Friend: Wah so nice...when you wanna show us your place?</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;">Kiasu: Oh cannot coz i rented the house out...got people staying there. </span></em><br /><br /><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">TYPICAL.</span></strong><br /><br />This is what i mean lor. They will tell you they own a whole continent or they have 20 million dollars but somehow or rather you will NEVER get a glimpse of it.<br /><br /><div align="left">And when you finally manage to cross check and compare facts only to discover that whatever that person is boasting about is all nothing but a fat-ass hoax...senang they cover.<br /><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">"Oh you must have heard wrongly.....i never said that."</span></em></strong> </div>lau nianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350551468022617671noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-69575499225656674952009-04-22T21:24:00.003+08:002009-04-22T21:45:03.844+08:00Keysah Pondan Bogel di Kubur CinaLau Niang heard a very kesian but funny story from a colleague few days ago. She is currently dating an ex policeman and this story is about the ex police man's best friend.<br /><br /><br />Apparently, that guy loves banging Mak Nyah yer. One fine night, he found himself very horny so he went to Chow Kit road to find Mak Nyah. Then get this; right in the middle of the night, he drove that Mak Nyah to a deserted chinese graveyard somewhere in the outskirts of KL and they did it there!<br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327506586141447522" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 266px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjfqbKBtoiuQnR7FRSTF-DLUrZ9pII-pb0YBSeZd2NlOV1mM-NgJ3fjn8OzvdrvAP8SqoudyOcTDC3jH1pLFQJkpKjmZY7qVNF42TnN7uhdhEWcys6da_3AkaoXGvd3sAQUlWgxXScZvfI/s400/1092637120_d272cedca7_b.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />This is not the keji part. He made the Mak Nyah strip habis habis and he merely unzipped himself only. Never take off any piece of clothing also. Demi nak buat business, the Mak Nyah pun rela sajer. So keji kan? kan?<br /><br /><br />This is still not the keji part okeh. Ya...it gets worse. When he is finally done with the Mak Nyah, he just threw money at the Mak Nyah.....<br /><br /><br />And he drove off.<br /><br /><br />With all of the Mak Nyah's clothing as well.<br /><br /><br />Yes....the poor Mak Nyah was left stranded stark naked in a deserted chinese graveyard in the middle of the night okeh. The poor Mak Nyah have to lari bogel terkangkang kangkang chasing after the car but naturally she couldn't keep up lah. Last last really stranded bogel in the graveyard.<br /><br /><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">Question: What would you have done if you were driving pass a chinese graveyard in the middle of the night and suddenly you see a naked Mak Nyah with smeared make up and after sex hair running after your car screaming for help???? </span></em>lau nianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350551468022617671noreply@blogger.com164tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-52212982750933879532009-04-20T23:49:00.003+08:002009-04-21T00:29:01.735+08:00Cibai Camera Shop<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi80dPs3tOGTCHhBd-3wcDTmhMbTt2qj6Ovc8ulMr_g5r5UUDTlG5m1U5s7ee43x1AAPY1ZHaWwbsii4ykrKjq1PcZrDAfdHCIv4kwPSXBAU22G51yl_EtG9mQhyIv1xdS6LnF4hEeyDLM0/s1600-h/20042009195.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5326810988863349826" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi80dPs3tOGTCHhBd-3wcDTmhMbTt2qj6Ovc8ulMr_g5r5UUDTlG5m1U5s7ee43x1AAPY1ZHaWwbsii4ykrKjq1PcZrDAfdHCIv4kwPSXBAU22G51yl_EtG9mQhyIv1xdS6LnF4hEeyDLM0/s400/20042009195.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>This is the supidest camera shop that has the nerves to run its business in the face of the earth. Where is this shop? It is currently occupying and thus polluting and smearing the name of One Utama. This foul smelling shop also houses one of the silliest and rudest staff that i've ever seen in my whole life. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Seriously, the sole reason of hiring staff in this shop is really to boil customer's blood and chase them away after that. Oh, and not to mention they are also all out to suck customer's blood after boiling them with their almighty-suka-ikut-kepala-bapak price tag. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>What happened you asked? Why is lau niang so worked up you asked? Well...so happen i just dropped by this fucked up shop just to survey price on a camera that i wish to buy. The staff try to buat sial with me....sorry lah. Wrong tail to step on. Here's the more detailed account of what happened. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Me: Hi, can i just ask what is your retail price for this camera? </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Cibai Staff: Oh its rm5,100</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Me: Wah why so expensive?</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Cibai Staff: Standard price. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Me: I did ask a few shops and i got offers as low as rm4,900.....</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Cibai Staff: Then you buy from that shop lah. I never mind one. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Me: ?!?!?!???!!!!! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Cibai Staff: You don't see cheap only you buy. Maybe they selling fake models. You got read hong kong magazine not? But if you still want to buy its up to you lah....</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Me: Does your shop sell fake cameras as well? </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Cibai Staff: Of course not. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Me: Then i am sure other shops are practicing the same ethics and they certainly won't like being accused of selling fake models. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Before he can say anything, i marched to the supervisor of the shop and tapped his shoulder and i went...</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Me: Seriously, your staff is going to cause this shop to loose A LOT of business. Good luck surviving....</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>And i marched out of the shop without even looking back. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Not only was the staff rude, is he actually implying that i dunno how to tell a fake camera from a real one and what else is he trying to say? Only his shop selling original cameras is it???? I only wished my camera phone can zoom in further so that i can snap a picture of that bastard staff yang mulut hangsuang puaka tu. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:180%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>PTUUIII!!!</strong></span> </div>lau nianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350551468022617671noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-26635339936707606552009-04-17T00:52:00.002+08:002009-04-17T01:13:52.520+08:00Warm and Fuzzy DinnerThe past few months has been spent in solitude. Being well hidden from blogosphere, lau niang had pratically no life. Serious shit okeh.<br /><br />Work has been really merciless....<br /><br />My masters dissertation feels like i'm in an ultra gory Quentin Tarantino movie....<br /><br /><br />With both conditions in hand for me to juggle, i had no time for other things at all. Except for my new found love, photography. Heh hehe....i've started to pick things up quite seriously lately and i''ve accepted a few wedding jobs. Things are looking pretty exciting ahead....<br /><br />So that's what i've been doing the whole time. Working. Studying. Editing pictures. All by myself.<br /><br />Really saddening.<br /><br />I was pretty assured that Ken Watanabe is going to ditch me for some young bimbo and i'm going to die an old maid already. Not until Joe invited me for dinner. Not just any dinner. This dinner meant something. To me at least. Joe has been a very nice friend i've known for a couple of years but due to time constraints, we hardly had the chance to meet up. But we remained in touch nevertherless.<br /><br />And yesterday, Joe invited me over to his place for a dinner that he prepared himself. Now that's a first for me i gotta tell you. I've never had anyone cooked for me (except for mom and gramma) in my whole life. And what a blast i had. For a guy, the dishes he prepared was really impressive. Out friend even made terung...knowing that i love them very much. Heh heh!<br /><br />T'was a very very sumptious 3 course dinner with soup even. The evening was very quiet and peaceful and we had a very good time watching animes ( My 2nd love interested now aside from photography. I on the way nak convert perky dah..claymore claymore...) after dinner. Its just the kind of break i need from all the pressure of work and studies.<br /><br />Everything just seems.....nice to me. It was just small gestures but it left me feeling warm and fuzzy all night long.<br /><br />Thanks for the wonderful dinner Joe.....really appreciate it. :Dlau nianghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350551468022617671noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-33898657930013934742009-04-09T22:46:00.004+08:002009-04-09T23:47:18.224+08:00Keysah Epik Chinta Di Tepi Jalan...<div align="justify"><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3rPG_rhud6sSDqxTP4CLGpBPiDruRlNoFPfxUkNZupnXYvZy4hfogo_OSSHA2B0U0NrQX4R-IDVTKvb8RgyC18-qjzEHAFYREM88P8rAluzNhuzLjNyqJPbgpHLaLZ5bYON1crktLwXI/s1600-h/IMG_8223aa.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322704061780159778" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3rPG_rhud6sSDqxTP4CLGpBPiDruRlNoFPfxUkNZupnXYvZy4hfogo_OSSHA2B0U0NrQX4R-IDVTKvb8RgyC18-qjzEHAFYREM88P8rAluzNhuzLjNyqJPbgpHLaLZ5bYON1crktLwXI/s400/IMG_8223aa.JPG" border="0" /></a> Alkisah adanya seorang perempuan kebaya high fashion yang keayuannya teramat sangat....</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322704695758491618" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNtoyW_PPyh3n-nAbCaDkVX-Hc6GqI0GC22QpCirEbrHLY88xfN2NvFd17z_6f7lBAdv0r2W1hyphenhyphenBSUPDbJRjYzvExxG126G41BhC0r5TyuPusQ2JRmhJxm8DBvy3bhAolGyJU7QAKfLL4/s400/IMG_8274aa.JPG" border="0" /><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">"My name is Sasha Fierce! Sasha Fierce!" </span></em></div><div align="center"><br />Kechantiqan Sasha Fierce teramatlah sangat sehingga Mak Nyah dari Pat Pong turut memendam rasa deng deng jeles. </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"><br /></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322704692747106450" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyhmmEpudtqOTvfjTwJ0Mlb7iBXLyJN2Lpzz9q2XNbzm1a2arlJcKCOXxl8WT3ty3gVG7icVBHyEguqKnJmtMUESgu1xEfThsTTf51iS2iUZCnq-iTboe_j3JW3z0T2hRegGjMOXjvMac/s400/IMG_8271aa.JPG" border="0" />Akan tetapi.....tiada sesiapa pun yang tahu akan secret Sasha Fierce. Hakikatnya, Sasha Fierce sangat feeling loner beloner......</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322704063459790210" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIWdx7U_f_lIzTiLreaQ6lPzPMDh0a9pu6MmV6y-rQeHswfVxTYI0Ls452FBBrYz-Gr2zUXCN3IwEBQ-4rbLQNU6t_xSsIeEN7Ppokm5OeiwCanD_jtMVrbEZxUxAdDQ8BZ395cRh7rHA/s400/IMG_8232aa.JPG" border="0" /></div><div align="justify"><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">"Haih.....kenaps shuban merks tak sampai sampai lagi nih.....fenats mek duduk tepi jalan tunggu everday okeh......"</span></em></div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322704695824679074" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiexTS52q9W219ZgOW3irWDQ35oU3ox4mhM-Ndawl7LCi0ZLwdI2dAFheiXHHKQrc1SHf4f39evBFpHgdDZVigfy66o8iOeBPZt7MFkv-2b8WXVjLqFH5VYfw1jDgFo2CO0lrcpnOnL_sA/s400/IMG_8278aa.JPG" border="0" /></div><div align="justify"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><em>"Hamboi hamboi....jantan tuh scanning merks ker? Like...FINALLY!!"</em> </span></div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Dengan berkat iman yang kuat dan kuasa Tuhan Ilahi...one fine day.....</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322705258978724130" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoANWTDKOTsyVoum9NTmAJYbLfKOciSSHtdl2omlHAHsgjLKlwbEwdb6pQRP9ZIlczS69-sWgqgKDO_onPal6ODrf2u5jmxvRTzo9Yk0zPyniomVZ8tjCMlxf3OSQgSszqOs04zIQXBb8/s400/IMG_8283aa.JPG" border="0" /></div><div align="justify"><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">"Oh tuhanku...dier masih scanning merks lagi! Shit..so many things to plan lah. When to choose our wedding date? How many kids do i want with him? Time wedding nak pakai Vera Wang ker Balenciaga? Eee tension nyer merk...!!"</span></em></div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"><br /></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322704698354744370" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyelqh-RRzMJg_3dsH2W-oR6Q_SzrDfgjepc8UybQ3vF6LKQ4fI0jiYBx1O0ubeI8oYZSIer65lSht7jzlHGk8FZO1FHbqZ9rl7uAGaL3jBdnup_YFs2ZkkrI77bKuwGzkI53e7yPgKfU/s400/IMG_8279aa.JPG" border="0" /><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">"Ello cik abang oi....you taste merks ker? I nampak you scanning kat i tadi....tapi never mind. Merk rela....."<br /></span></em><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322704699795217522" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYxrplBfOQet_m_1zhLwCk7Hgedd4_4M74V49PNLnjKy58q3qom5VAQDTVX-G35szhtCKAIYnZDK7lsi5MWnxXkP67yvjCIphakDTU0H_KjnAER_4xAjlxsq50OWppknrojWIjQtWOsqg/s400/IMG_8281aa.JPG" border="0" />Jantan: Sori stoberi....i tak taste fomfuan acelly. I taste kebaya you sajer. Fierce sangat. You rasa ada tak size mak? <div align="center"> </div><div align="center">MERK SENTIPS!!!!!!! </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322704066479045666" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz2hfRIOJoAU86peiWznJ7jh7vQX5wuIolPneXZd7bI2TBXD8Ia-Pm9R25L7m8VJsD6BeCDt6n-rNPN7eZv8NeamXECKj1QJ20M8O8T8AuS5v5nhmSanh1DRMZnkyLPe_fhBBe0NF1uVg/s400/IMG_8270aa.JPG" border="0" /><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">"You get your paws away dari kebaya mak okeh. Nih limited edition haute couture dari Aspadarina...Carrie Bradshaw sex and city also pakai okeh...sorry....you tak carry!! "</span></em><br /><br />Akan tetapi....jantannya sangat persistent. TETAP nak pakai kebaya merah Sasha Fierce sehhinga sanggup menjadi stalker.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322705264618542562" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikrkOdAzCvipjtMbtY156tnHZDSBYyzW_wxYw1Sf9Ok5eWByCpIw39PmIgaYc8Mr6ok9bfAowhuS7d9XLxSqcVvQJvPtB2fJzcSb7iUxxs1mpP8ySCir0xItuWnJ-T0FX7ZhBdi1TF8H0/s400/IMG_8291aa.JPG" border="0" /><br /><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">"Eh hello! I dah kater jangan ikoot merks lagi okeh....you memang tak carry kebaya. Ko pakai jer baju kurung...jangan lawan kehendak Tuhan okeh...kalo tak....."</span></em><br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322705264762241922" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinyD_lwLlDgQ3APYeLvY1CViwMM8YERUfYrHJA376hY9pscfnfs8cn0l45C95mQpJKPzEcXL-Zq6tcFNTtaBszgLMXzZ2azu0w2yWuSTfHUr3nC5JDkSxb_c1r_8ocu2Xr3Tuuh0lB614/s400/IMG_8324aa.JPG" border="0" /><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">"MERK MANDREM UOLS NANTI!!"</span></em> </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">Akhirnya jantan tersebut lari lintang pukang terkencing kencing. </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"><br /></div><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322704066517995234" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV1taMkdCMLa0lg8fZPIYPod_aFOawVkBr4fDqRmsyunJRTAutyeHrHMaQN1KyLZWlIL8f0KrsisWnvlENpJDeYA7cecFCEurAdv567SmUXD994AUqycIP1jbmhGdZChKw-2amPSJKIeo/s400/IMG_8249aa.JPG" border="0" />Dan Sasha Fierce pun get over it dan kembali menunggu shuban tulennyer dengan gaya posing high fashion......<br /><br />Gosh its sooo good to be back blogging again! How is everyone in the world doing? Lau niang is absoolootley fine :D been busy with work and studies lately but there isn't one day that went by where i don't miss blogging. </p><p>As you can see, i have been doing a lot of photo shoots for lots of people. Paul and Lisa here were such great sports and really fun to work with. And no....the little picture story is not real okeh....biasalah....kerja i kan shit stirrer. </p><p>More shits to stir very very soon.....keep reading!<br /></p><div align="justify"> </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-51148608633895778182009-04-06T00:56:00.005+08:002009-04-06T01:05:05.399+08:00THE BITCH IS BACK IN THE HOUSE...<div align="center"><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;"><span style="font-size:130%;">All hell will break loose on.... </span></span></strong><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;"><span style="font-size:130%;"></div><div align="center"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:180%;">FRIDAY<br />10.04.09 </span></div><p><span style="font-size:180%;"></p><div align="center"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">Be afraid.....be very afraid.....</span></span></strong></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-10829988006828744022008-10-14T08:00:00.007+08:002008-10-14T09:26:21.922+08:00Little Mermaid: Ariel's Begining<div align="justify">HOMYGAWWDDD........IT. IS. FINALLY. HERE!!<br /><br /></div>What is here???<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:180%;color:#ff0000;">PREQUEL TO LITTLE MERMAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</span></strong><br /><br /><br />Now as you all know....lau niang is huge huge fan of Little Mermaid you know. Ever since the feature animation came out in 1989, I never stopped watching the cartoon till this very day. My 1st copy of pirated very-blur video tape (they celotape a 4r pic of the poster on the video box only and sell it at rm40 back then you know) evolved to the posh-er red-and-blue HVD tape evolved to a pirated VCD evolved to DVD. Yes people, the cartoon survived all technology and i am still watching it RELIGIOSLY. I hafal all the skrip and song you know.<br /><br /><br />Then while DVD shopping in pasar malam few weeks back, i spotted this. I refused to believe its real; after all this years. Although they had a sequel done some years before. Yang Ariel make baby with Prince Eric one.<br /><br /><br />BUT A PREQUEL!!<br /><br /><br />I dun expect it to be as good as the 1st installment but what the heck. It's still little mermaid!! Gotta have it! As i inserted the disc into the player my hands already shivering in excitement to press play button. Press play only a very very familar scene popped up.<br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793006319623298" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKbi4DoxFoDv6vzGl_DqeBMloTH3_IYYc9vHGNdxVJ76XRzc8JVT48iHWUZmC1-gmLt8MEkWMUrnMan7mKQJjQ0NG6l8gF8_eq5DykqnZqwmAVli2zem41nUUKMIA-aRxPDEJarmOp_AA/s400/cap068.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33cc00;">TETAP must have King Triton's Castle okeh!!!</span> </div><br />Then hor....start start only got come out Ariel Zaman baby. So cute lei!!!<br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793010492722690" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigBgz5iLqgEuGpyxsddGAx71PtgPuTBIet2kYArNdEot3O1RtdZDuxIzZnvstcmJojsalNIB3rVbumQkVGNEfWSjuaO8ulUQ6utK5gfXa-X8E1I0gNHQkYB65lZ1SUpYAOFfYclg-29Yg/s400/cap069.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />See see!! So cute!! That time her nen nen haven't grow so just wrap with handkerchief but must tetap same colour with her shell bra. Then King Triton's hair still brunnette; haven't turn white lagi katanya.<br /><br /><br />Then got new mermaid!!<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793011814359810" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVxNEW_VUBUntGIcDSS5j6vDrErobxfkC5_0IsDaDi1x6NwxcAZhxDjxU9tp9yEuhiPuWo6JUQgnT0-CWSnoYbP9qeTTBqVAqjFpAdGb7w6Lsmt3Xc7W0RDCzumvvb1sWao89fd9Yu-As/s400/cap071.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />You guess who is this?? This is Ariel's Lau Bu lah!! Never come out before one lei!! Notice she's wearing Ariel's future bra not? Rupa-rupanya Ariel kena pakai hand-me-down bra jer. So ker lian hor. Hope the cup size is correct lah. Ariel's Lau Bu nen nen seems bigger. Oh her name is not Lau Bu lah....its Athena by the way. Last time in Sunday School i got indian fren her name is Athena also.<br /><br />But Athena hor,(not indian Athena okeh...focus focus!) very short lived lor. You see her singing along to a music box (that is like her heart of the ocean lah, sentimental gift from husband).....sing sing sing until never realized Captain Barbosa coming in his Black Pearl from behind.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793010514462786" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Zmj1I-qrxw6WadEjAX97sXKshUdJU6gaEnLZHjmWW9MZ760tfqwkXmMopvfU1LU1mAO2045XsYfIDU7NiV3jNEXeUymxdfDKqUJRX7TKtbKZmJ_EOeKrHN9dNswcKiiqs0I2RyVCtXk/s400/cap072.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />In the midst of the panic, she try to escape but she left her music box behind so she U -Turn to cuba rescue the music box. But her tail tersepit and then just gone case like that. Died because of music box. Leaving behind seven mer-girls to husband. So silly but so cham also lah. King triton ma very trauma lor, so he banned music from his ocean. Dowan to be reminded of his wife.<br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793014092924466" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdPZforHx8ScthqURkEDcvEtLVsclul_n996QpbiBHaQMHZu7DBsMwzNsNvg0DTDX4RHsgacpsLGKW5Lt1D_1ZSC86I2QHHMOdLfhj97llHdE-woPp3Cv0m3QjzEGfoaXeDQOSgTJ4jec/s400/cap077.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />Ten years later, Ariel grew into puberty full of angst. You know teenagers lah, forever rebel kan. Hate that age level. Come from broken family pulak tu. Dah lah cannot sing song some more, lagi rebel lah kan. Always fighting neck to neck with daddy. "I want to sing!! I won't budge I won't budge gitue...." (harus mek larriikk sorok bawah Atlantic Ocean pasal sudah offended someone now....)<br /><br />Oh and this part Ariel has a governess who looks after her and her sisters too. She's actually the villian of the show.<br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793288711463298" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW712BmgPLS_2VSDZ2w1UgkGeOnyN21i54o-MIjGni9M28Q7ZZ5-U-5rtPetpSgmSTF2Lqhti-f6CMXXr-Lxj7VKSr5UyZG1oCAlJGj3l2uSZGGyscwH_cWa4Cj3QWvWJCqp-UR2etHHw/s400/cap078.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />Meet Marina Del Rey, (not marinara pasta okeh) the super diva aunty mermaid boroi. Acelly hor if you see the movie throughout kan, her hair color keeps changing one. Why???<br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793286905452194" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRhm6rNL8Qyb_kzNkSS2d2RVw24Pm1R97Rh12lueDDiIFmhp55xU8OKLkZyzp5672fvWU0pLxHgJNQ0eD_h3WFv_PSjLFoLKaMO-grvzoTKLSTVSRSXiWkFnfyCyDCdY945kvsyvjVoRg/s400/cap080.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />Because she is ratu wig. Just like lau niang. Only thing she has nicer wigs lah. Not like me, only got rambut style perempuan gila baru kena rogol 5 round. Anyways, Marina is gila kuasa one lor, she secretly wanna rampas Sebastian's title.<br /><br />But where is Sebastian??? Why never come out all this while??<br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256803325720629330" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_2f0YB0zsJj7J1-CJ3NtIE3eNrDgEWWrUSFY3zVaMG3B8Qzrah0syMMqnRbJbJbis_HQ-LL4oGXbuYxO0YSWfYpPU-L8hdNz9-Tt7e9B75aiHopAndnZmItwBiQqrq_7lVDBRffOQp9U/s400/cap086.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br />Sebastian reprises his role as right-hand man (or in this case right-claw crab) to King Triton. But he has something under his sleeve. (Insert Mary Alice narration and Desperate Housewife soundtrack) In spite of holding such an influencial post, everyone in Atlantic Ocean has their darkest secrets....<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793286580017522" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-E8mF7AY5sjSsAfH_melL6pOkRfnr1Qa9zFl3g7pOZdnnVsKq1oWrx55lfDGFSEzVRECG1tQ3pjgelnsbGhE1-v2spE-lT97WsdPXPhKr_BpV4dI_fTbZLDV8ZYfY82FjRWm439TOjEg/s400/cap082.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br /><br />You remembered King Triton banned music already right? How can you take the Samba and Flamenco away from Cha-cha diva Sebastian kan. Kau tau.....our fren....dier bukak La Queen Haram!!! Yess.....i'm not kidding. Every night he sneaks out of the palace and pergi cucuk langit in a secret La Queen well hidden in some caves.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793292476159826" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDUbAzEK2pmE5eDw6fI9rehYJhgBKHrcPzGSp5PqEdxcEjd6n88O-HaZuPTi21EhjdgkNjGGmnAGsuGOZERfi87TBXyfuUYdPzt9_AcV-HYu4QWekQ6c8ksggQL-BT2N1MUMOz9YZKY1g/s400/cap083.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33cc00;">Buat solo performance tengah podium plak tu.</span> </div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Then one night he kena kantoi with Ariel who caught him red handed singing lor. Ariel being a song whore herself, what you expect her to do?? Of course she breaks into a song herself.<br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256805409451518818" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-T0DBfrn9O4eTady-FiQ8ZqdTy3SdWP6XOXZWo9oHPUd5yzr_FZ_tGVXW2PxIfbccCUG67f7u5G_etrc-fMJljxtUkvQXHZHX0kPN4CvWGE_-9jNfDciF7WpNy3MgHrYzo13a99HdVVM/s400/cap084.jpg" border="0" /> <p align="center"><span style="color:#33cc00;">Shaddapp....shaddapp!!!!! Nih solo merk tau!!!!!! Merk keyyyysaaahh lah nyahh!!!</span></p><br />Yes yes.....sebastian very geram and jeles Ariel can sing better than him. Ge-les!! Then kena kantoi not enough, the next night Ariel brought all her sister to La Queen untuk melacur some more.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793593671280626" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoZg77uFA8k_Y4YHljaEaCtwLhC8q75a3HxxdO1J6glkkZBJhC8Uemjum2iVignMMBxq8BPG4-txH7JFj4GqSvD_mYalN0WjeGStY0rxkROGg6PB1gbVs5T95awlVkUqiZfkn1VnBgK7A/s400/cap085.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />There's Attina, Alana, Adela, Aquata, Arista, Andrina, and then Ariel. In order. Yes i know all their names. Dun fuck with me okeh. So they all go la queen and cik cur together until kena kantoi by King Triton. Jeng jeng jeng!! Drama drama......who tell? Ma Marina tell lor.<br /><br />So naturally Sebastian losses his job and gets imprisoned. Marina wish come true lor. But not for long. Ariel goes to Sebastian's rescue and they escape together. King Triton pun very gabra kehilangan anak right.....takut kena terung by some kidnappers wait. But dunno mermaid got lobang not lah.<br /><br />Anyways he sends the whole country look for Sebastian and Ariel. Seeing how concerned King Triton is over them, Marina pun tergugat. So she sends her super evil sidekick to KILL both Ariel and Sebastian. Gasp!!!! Who is the evil sidekick so powerful????<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793592808911138" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfqJwGc5V6DQzfcPlBeRo4xvBNQXl2dyIP4zjvwRI6BsIZTh5pmbnERtNPsNDF0ek37FaGnEcpZn6fCjl9TzYy9hWpya-JKPR6rNHTGgVckhb0Q75eecbv-NuPCL3RNRUugBHJyr0zJPM/s400/cap088.jpg" border="0" /><br />Ha ha ha ha ha!! Mek propah jer. Meet Benjamin. He is indeed Marina's sidekick but you see his face lah so teddy bear. How to be evil kan. Benjamin always wisdom Marina to be good but Marina won't budge. So she releases her pets to kill Ariel and Sebastian demi giler kuasa.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793590823634610" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPcwBDG337G_hgWvPBoOHIo9NJHRptN55AMXt85kzFeEBifHsN7niHKHRHT3jmq6v6CX5fo2jc77_4GbSfPxp_veQfQszNSUsg5yvMrfDtGOghd9sXYRId26VRa2fMoBKruqwn1NB5gfo/s400/cap090.jpg" border="0" /><br />This is not main main okeh. Even Ursula also got 2 koochirat eels only. Marina got SEVEN. And they're all like 10 times the size of Flotsam and Jetsam okeh. Seriously their scene in the cartoon is indeed scary. Small girl see will cry one lor.<br /><br />The story ends when King Triton catches Marina red handed trying to kill Ariel lor. In all Disney movies of course must have happy ending one lah right. Then after that Ariel ma psycho King Triton to allow music in the ocean again lor. She found her Lau Bu's music box along the way and tries to remind King Triton of the good times they had together.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793590313478338" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguCe64HRCRn4t5qOCA44hChdzQ-sbK-loXe8LTCYkwJMOvZL-l-rupltv7YcnsFhMJZpCwTmniy3b4gKYfkkhF8F4aXl3RMt3IGVe_dMY3j3YCEygjocdbmeiJ5IKv7WsOszv6obxLT1w/s400/cap091.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />King Triton kena psycho then he ma very jiwang jiwang lor. Keep thinking of his late wife kan. Last last he lifted the ban and all the ocean started singing again.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793594185741314" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCvuxhCiKiynZSQJBiXNaubkT6PhjLO1fj7ORWtmtKbvtPBurrnblB8eoJJegQLd1qnP187TcduoeuZFx8kd4rDcpsPYiZQOo58IjRTjYSt3HxFsxD87peGPp8Az14lcjzLHAczVsi2xM/s400/cap092.jpg" border="0" /><br />King Triton pun sambung berangan together - gether with his wife again. Sangat jiwang kan???<br /><br /><br />Kesimpulan nyer, all die hard little mermaid and bibiknyonya fans must watch this cartoon....<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5256793286025091266" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfI2b1r60lxlnhylFuywR7v0h3Q-1h_z-B1ZlRNztwy53o-yt7hPt121SI6isZQ-NpxlUrlSylNiMEeQn2WvcdI6USekkHrTOjD7dbtRNfJpV6W9zBJvDpRaHhMfirQFcIUMau7MqhEY0/s400/cap079.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#33cc00;">.....coz it's a feel good cartoon!!</span></div><br /><br />Trust me, you see oledi you will very happy wanna become cha-cha diva also one.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-55297717976771111432008-09-20T12:20:00.005+08:002009-04-01T01:27:51.749+08:00Lau Niang Chats With a Porn StarOh. My. Gkk!!<br /><br />People, i am doing a LIVE BLOGGING now. As i am writing this post, i am now watching an X tube clip and chatting with a guy. Shut up, lau niang is not pervert okeh. Hear me out 1st.<br /><br />So this guy....NO SELF PICS.....ask me to show my self pic. No hal. I ma show lor. Show already not enough. Nak demand my cam some more. I asked for his pic again he say dun have. He's discreet katanya. FINE. I just reluctantly on my cam lor. Just being polite kan.<br /><br />Then hor.....he showed me an X tube. I tengah watching an online horror movie so kan ceong you now. I told him i will watch later but he insisted i watch it now. Very nice one...katanya. I was kinda ticked off already. Its just a stupid porn clip. But ok fine...so i went to see....just to see what is all the fuss about lah.<br /><br />When I saw the clip.......astaga belakang pintu...tuhan saja yang tau dia punya horror. It was SO SLEAZY!! Bad camera angles. Cheesy disco music background and both of the guys like dead fish....yang kena stroke. The clip 5 mins long, over 3 mins the btm guy lying on top doing god knows what. Fondling and fondling and fondling. Like he's kneading a dough. Buat rancangan pastry ker? How to make croissant.<br /><br />Oh did i mention it was one of those headless clip? Yeah that's the most irritating type one lor. You know like when they put the camera facing the bed and then all you see is....umm....a fencing tournament. Lawan pedang katanya. Yeah the whole time like that no head at all. Cock head only got.<br /><br />I remember my cam is still on so i tried my best not to yawn or look bored. I was no where near to being aroused okeh! Then he finally asked me what i thought of it. I wanted to say what i said here already but....i just brushed it off with a simple "ok ok lah..." statement. Then he finally revealed something.<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;">The top guy was in the clip was him!</span></strong><br /><br />My god......good thing i kept my mouth shut okeh! I felt so sorry for him. I felt like telling him ala Karen Walker style....<br /><br /><em><span style="color:#33ff33;">"Oh honey......you poor thing....that's not sex.....<span style="color:#ff0000;">*insert sympathy smile*</span> ...no.....i'm so sorry.."</span></em><br /><br />Then only it occured to me. All along the fucker wont even show me a face pic but he sanggup post his own sex clip for the whole world to see. How is that being discreet kan.<br /><br />I told him off in the face. "You willing to show your sex clip for the whole world to see but you wont show me a face pic....claiming that you are discreet? How are you being discreet??! Planet earth has free access to your butt hole. " And he casually say "I never show my face in the clip mah, discreet lor...."<br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>I CAN DIE OKEH.</strong></span><br /><br />Discreet katanya. I cannot tahan anymore terus i bukak blogger and start typing all this furiosly. I dun even know how to respond to him. And then he said the most fantastic statement.<br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;">"Wah why you reply me so slow suddenly ah.... (He doesn't know i'm blogging now) enjoying my clip lei. You wanna enjoy with me not? I can meet you up next week then we can have a good time also. Want?"</span></em><br /><br />Oh tuhanku.......i sinfully repent now. I will never drive any engineers up the wall anymore. I wont talk siau siau to chatters anymore. I promise i wont sing Little Mermaid songs in my mind when people talking to me anymore. Lau Niang bertaubat.......<br /><br />Can anyone (besides me) be more perasan or not you tell me. I chat with him i can pengsan how many times already. Showing me his sleazy sex clips one after another (yes there's more than one but all is sama konspep) and PROUDLY claiming he's discreet the whole time. I began responding slower and slower to him (coz i blogging here) and finally he decides to leave.<br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#ffff33;"><em>" I see you very busy now ah. So slow reply geh? Are you wanking to my clip? Ha ha ha....ok lah i wanna go bathe now. You dun so notti oh....if really cannot tahan just give me a call. We can have fun together like that also....." </em></span></div><div align="center"><br />I swear i am THIS close to embedding the clip here in my blog okeh. I can do documentry yang bertajuk "Do you know fishes can have sex even after they die?"<br /><br />Lau Niang cepat cepat pakai baju kurung and shades hitam besar yang cover half the face ala Siti Sifir Along.<br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">"Ramuan untuk dokumetari hari ini ialah 2 ekor bangkai ikan. Mula mula....ambil seekor bangkai ikan. Letakkan bangkai ikan di atas seekor lagi bangkai ikan. TADA! Tuan tuan dan puan puan.....begitu lah gaya dua ekor bangkai ikan mengawan....sekian terima kasih. Jumpa lagi minggu depan dalam segmen Siti Sifir! Satu..kali satu....satu! Satu....kali dua....dua! "<br /></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#66ffff;">*insert Along theme song and credit titles...*</span></em></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-91249609614255675342008-09-13T09:13:00.001+08:002008-09-13T08:25:07.470+08:00Brinjal Brinjal....wor ai ni!One day hor...me and my sister both of us girls ponteng work together. Keji not? Then hor...we pigi melacur at meat valley together gether. Ok lah....she go with her bf, only lau niang buat kerja melacur part time only lah. But no business because is working day lor. All is the see lai shopping only. Yes i like to become tiang lampu....chui meh?<br /><br /><br />Setelah penat melacur, kami pun berasa lapar. Dalam pada itu, kami pun mencari tempat untuk memakan tengah hari. So form 1 karangan BM kan? Ha ha ha ha! Anyways, we had the infamous asam laksa in Jaya Jusco. But lau niang forever is miss rebel. Purposely dowan order asam laksa walaupun femes. Nak makan Curry Laksa instead. So i ma order curry laksa lor.<br /><br /><br />Come come the laksa i pun makan lor. Quite nice also. Nice enough to make sis geram and jeles. That's what we call Ge-les. Plan berjaya. But the laksa looks very red and murky. Can't really see the ingredients also. Manage to pick out all the bawang only. I seriously HATE bawang. I think God made bawang to punish humankind for all the sins of the world. And the chef is carrying God's punishment on me. Can't even eat in peace, must slowly pick out bawang 1st until the mee kembang. Grrrr!!!! So i just eat whatever other things they have in it.<br /><br /><br />And suddenly lau niang tasted something foreign. I thought i ate something that look like fish paste but why taste different geh?<br /><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">*sepit another piece and flips around to inspect*</span></em> Wah lau...! Its a terung! Oh my god i just ate terung!!!<br /><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">*sudden urge to gag but nothing comes out*</span></em> Oh my god... I just ate sayur and i'm not gagging. That's weird....<br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"><em>*tastes another piece*</em></span> Oh my god....i dun hate it. <em><span style="color:#ff6666;">*continues chewing*</span></em>......its actually good!<br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5241232032406112386" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilLIm8zLMLNyI4VELp2ldvD0vCbwVRP1P5U3xYYSJFRf0d2Mq35KQueieK_kimTfTFtc5S8WccQDz-nD9mGqcPtIO2NmfHlYfNK6U_Uhq6Rlrgm4HC1GpvYc5EubzD5dL9rieZebgZCLo/s400/Brinjal.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />Wah ever since the epiphany, i went on a terung frenzy. Why no one tell me how nice is terung. Have you eaten terung before?? Its nice! Terung is so unpopular.....coz its purple. Not pink. Very hard to match. I think gomen should make kempen makan terung. Must raise pubic awarness. Did i mention its really nice? So when i got back home, we had a family lunch in Esquire Kitchen...i special request a plate of terung. Still nice. I finish the whole plate myself lei.<br /><br /><br />Then later dinner mom cooked at home. I asked her to cook more terung. Ha ha ha!<br /><br /><br />Man...who would have thought terung is so nice hor. If one day lau niang feel feel very generous i let you belanja me makan okeh? But you better make sure got terung on the menu wor. Kalo tak, mek terungkan your bontot.<br /><br /><br />All this while i thought terung is a sex toy for poor people only..............Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-72234794571635370752008-09-09T11:04:00.004+08:002008-09-09T13:07:36.088+08:00Why Do We Love Tyra Banks so muchFirst....she falls down over a couch on national television. <br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7Och-VFreys&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7Och-VFreys&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />Then....she is seen acting a crazy fool alongside with Bunifa, the black version of me. Ha ha ha ha! You so won't believe its Tyra underneath all those red leather and big hair. <br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4zM6qJ3ZbGw&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4zM6qJ3ZbGw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Ps: Check out latest update over Queen Bitch. More shameless camwhore self adoring pics for you to admire. Ha ha ha ha!<br /><br />P/ps: To all the so many readers who are curious over abang 3some. Well i scared the living daylights out of him on our date and he no longer calls me anymore. I'm so at peace now. Ha ha ha ha ha! What i did? I pakai dress Valentino matching ngan Jimmy Choo i and i claim that it's my casual dress only. Pastu i spoke to him in the queen's english (queen of england not drag queen okeh) Terpinga-pinga he talk to me. Ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Merk suker merk suker!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-82574601790975128942008-09-07T11:05:00.006+08:002008-09-07T12:43:38.041+08:00Ooops I Did It Again.....I am now sitting in Old Town cafe...slapping myself for being such a nice and compromising although very cute and adorable girl. You see....i got myself into a pickle.....again. In a matter of few hours, i'm about to meet up a psychotic chatter.<br /><br />What happened? What was i thinking? Who is that psycho??<br /><br /><br /><br />It all started like this. This guy has been existing silently in my MSN contact list for quite a while. Really, i dun even remember where i know him. And then suddenly out of the blue, he messages me. I clearly remember our 1st conversation.<br /><br /><br />Chatter: Hi.....how are you ah? So long we never meet up already.<br /><br /><br />Me: Err......hi i'm doing great but i believe we've never met before.<br /><br /><br />Chatter: Wah....you forgotten me already ah? Last time we had a threesome before lah. Are you still in touch with the other guy? Wanna meet up again?<br /><br /><br />What-the-fuck-kanine-cau-cibai-hello-and-good-evening. The only time you'll catch me doing a threesome is when Ken Watanabe and Lee Hom is coincidentally in KL and coincidetally in my house okeh.<br /><br />Are you Ken Wanatabe? No.<br /><br /><br />Are you Lee Hom? No.<br /><br /><br />Then if all no how to have threesome like that!? So back to the conversation.<br /><br /><br />Me: Errr.....i think you must have gotten the wrong person. I seriously never met up with you before...let alone have any threesomes.<br /><br /><br />Chatter: Oh really ah.....must be the wrong person then. So malu. Ha ha ha....<br /><br /><br />But anyway, he kinda admitted that he found me attractive and he went all out to impress me. For the past month or so, he never failed to sms or call me everyday. I mean sure, i like to be treated like Queen Amidala. I like the attention he's giving me. But its so overwhelming sometimes. Up to an irritating level in fact. Now you say i fussy kan. People dun sms you, you complain. People sms you, you also complain. In my defence, that's what divas do. Ok lah, i give you a sample of our sms conversation then you tell me if i'm being diva or not.<br /><br /><br />Abg 3some: What you doing now ah boy?<br /><br /><br />Me: Having dinner with frens lor.<br /><br /><br />Abg 3some: Wahh.....who are they wor? You meet plu ah?<br /><br /><br />Me: Aiyah, they're just my friends from the orchestra lah. You think i have time to meet up guys ah??<br /><br /><br />Abg 3some: I worry you mah. Heh heh. How many of them wor?<br /><br /><br /><br />Me: Umm...5<br /><br /><br /><br />Abg 3some: Can mms me their pics?<br /><br /><br /><br />Me: *no reply*<br /><br /><br /><br />Psycho not you tell me??! Want to find out who am i hanging out with, how many of them, and even want me to MMS pics of my friends to me. That is not concern or worry okeh. That is being obsessive oledi you know.<br /><br /> Yahh needdd....to let a sistah have her free space.<br /><br />Yahh needdd....to let a sistah have her own personal time.<br /><br />You think i being diva now??? Waste my credit answering all those soalan yang tak perlu okeh. Somehow i know he is not the right guy for me.<br /><br /><br /><br />I tell you something personal bout me. I rarely fall for guys one and when i do, i feel it immediately one. If i have feelings for a guy, my heart woud skip a beat whenever i recieve an SMS from him. With abg 3some, i would roll my eyes and go "ughh....what does he wants now..."<br /><br /><br /><br />And then hor, my heart would be running like Black Beauty if i am to meet him for the 1st time. I'd be scared and worried. I be twirling my pigtails and go "....ohmygod...what if he dun like me in person? What if i'm not his type? Do i look ok now?"<br /><br /><br /><br />And when we meet up....he would grab my waist and draw me near....stare intensely into my eyes with looks that says "Let me take care of you forever..." My heart would then be choking in my throat and i have to swallow it back in. Then he would draw my head closer to him and he would give me a gentle peck on my forehead....assuring his love for me.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5243117650256954402" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwnPkIdsZuV4RAsIsNqExjh1R3ycu2VS54SjPIoOLBldm-8NDhWPMeHUim__8DHHw3bHz-V3tXVdmUHM7KJ-kFFwDqXtbrR-flgh1xX9vyjblOZNNUSUY445-1000HH7PsBFF-e0MXYxA/s400/Geisha.bmp" border="0" /><br /><br /><div align="center">You see how well Ken Watanabe does it???<br /></div><br /><br /><br />As he kisses my forehead gently, i would feel his big strong hands on my cheeks. I close my eyes, the mer-people would rise from the oceans and start singing the ending theme of Little Mermaid. You know the one that goes "Now you can waaallk *chang* (the grand cymbal).....now you can ruunnnn *chang* (grand cymbal again) ....now you can staaay all day in the sun...(choir sing aahh ahh ahhh....)...just you and me.....(aahhhhh) and i could bee.... (AAHHH! *high pitch mah*) part of your worrlldd....<br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5243132327755649410" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLqIBI5Lhx5EF_bAilaO8_o1RGJ_vXzY35MgymFRlHFa1B-wVRHtzuaaZmMcnn3eqU6PvSpuQuC3vZrePIGt9ngM0YF7dWZ8Ixpnk-6LnLZPb1RAiF6kwHy3Jso2OKJLP9a6dIG7XWmns/s400/Little_Mermaid--The_metaphor_is_obvious.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />And then a giant wave would lift King Triton up, he would hold my hands approvingly and touch me with his trident and then my shirt will turn into a sparkly Dior dress....then he'll wave at the skies making a huge rainbow. I'd sail away under the rainbow and all the mer-folks will be waving bye bye to me.<br /><br /><br />My god....i'm such a Phoebe Buffay.<br /><br /><br />But you see.....i'm about to meet him soon but i'm not the least scared or excited and what's worse...the merfolks are not singing! How to make lau niang happy if no mermaid singing?!<br /><br /><br />Definitely not the right guy lor. If its the right guy i know the merfolks will sing and wave bye bye to me one. No merpeople means not right guy.<br /><br /><br />No merpeople now. So sad. Sigh....i'm so dreading this. Wish me luck people......Unknownnoreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-25135940652943552542008-09-05T11:25:00.005+08:002008-09-05T12:32:13.453+08:00Lau Niang (Nearly) Goes on a Blind DateHere's an interesting question. Exactly how much trouble are you willing to take when meeting up a chatter or net friend?<br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;">Are you willing to drive to the opposite end of town just to pick him up?</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;">Are you willing to foot all bills like movie or meals or whatever things you do on a date that incurs costs? </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff00;">Are you willing to let your date decide on everything as in where and what to eat or what movie to watch...and you just play along; although you may not be in favour of it?</span></em><br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>MERK TAK SANGGUP. PERIOD.</strong></span><br /><br />I only make a few exception. VERY few. Lau niang will not struggle like that on a blind date UNLESS:<br /><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">1. You is Ken Watanabe. Heck i'll pick you up, drive you around, pay for dinner <em>(although i may have to wash plates later tapi merk sanggup nyah. Boleh i wash plate sambil singing 'Someday my prince will come..." ala Snow White )</em> and give you a foot rub. <span style="font-size:78%;">And lick your sweat.</span> Oh please bring me out....</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;"></span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">2. You are a chatter or a dear friend whom i know well enough and is worthy of all my struggle. If you is very very nice and kind to me all along and you prove yourself worthy as a good and sincere friend to me.....i will consider letting you belanja me when we meet up. If i feeling generous, i'll let you treat me to a movie as well. </span><br /><br />No more other exceptions.<br /><br />Other chatter rakyat jelata out there kalo nak dating mek, you better treat me like Queen Amidala. You must pick me up in a carriage with 8 white unicorns with silver horns or muscular topless horse-man <em>(neh the one like Narnia one but i dowan so ugly one. I wan lebih hemsem one. Badan pass oledi)</em> and have dayang-dayang palace bernama Zhang Ziyi pakai dress sepanjang 15 meter to hold my delicate hands and escort me to masuk carriage. Pastu must treat me to a nice dinner and a freaking good movie and surprise me with something from Prada before even thinking of getting into my panties.<br /><br />Lau Niang is royalty blood okeh. Maybeline also say because i'm worth it.<br /><br />So why did i bring this up? Well.....recently i was clowning with this guy i met from guys4men. Shit I spill so much dirt now i sound like skanky ho only. Stop judging me okeh. I'm not one. I know all of you melacur there also! But anyway, his face quite rakyat jelata only but he does have a nice body. But he's all the way in Sarawak. So i was just slutting with him virtually and nothing saucy happened. I'm not expecting anything to happen also.<br /><br />But hor....just a few hours back, suddenly he send me sms lei! He say he's around my area visiting and he would like to meet up lei. So lau niang ma very excited lor. I ask to meet in a mall 1st. In case skali his face is like resident evil Quasimodo senanglah i ditchkan right. If meet at home mati kena rogol wait. Bontot kena terung. Cannot. Pretty girls like us must play smart one you know.<br /><br />But hor......wah lan...he more diva than me can! At 1st i ask to meet in mall he dowan. Mintak to meet in Kl Central. What in gay hell. Why would anyone wanna meet up in KL Central for?! What is there to do there? Makan in McD pastu shopping in 7-11???? EUWWW!!!! Allergic merk okeh. Saya alah 7-11. I only do Debenhams and Harods. And what happened to my muscle horse-men and carriage and Zhang Ziyi kan.<br /><br />Apa lagi.....i never budge. Tetap demand to meet in One Utama at least. Then you know what he said?? He freaking asked me to pick him up from Kelana Jaya can?! Not that i purposely want to berlagak diva here. But you all know my infamous talent in my sense of directions. When it comes to be getting lost on the road, Lau Niang is prodigy okeh. No one as talented as me in getting lost lor. I study in UM and work there until now, more than 5 years already still can sesat go 9 college okeh. Apa lagi want to drive so Kelana Jaya. JUST to pick up a chatter whom i have flirted with for 20 mins online only. And never meet before some more.<br /><br />Do you think he's really worth all the trouble?<br /><br />Honey....yah neeedd...to treat a sistah like a real lady okeh. Yah neeed....to be a gentleman and pick up this nice lady here okeh. Yah don't ask a sistah to freaking pick you up on a date mmmkay?! That is so.....uncouth.<br /><br />After that i did something very sialan. Ha ha ha ha! Dengan sangat friendlynya i told him that he can actually take a free shuttle bus from the lrt station to one utama. And the bus come everyhalf hour. Pooop terus no reply. Why suddenly no sound one. Wrrr I do?! Wrrr...wrrr..wrrr I do??!<br /><br />So what would you have done if you have such a situation?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-3354613730561818972008-09-02T08:24:00.002+08:002008-09-02T08:52:35.844+08:00Flirting in StarbucksLast weekend got leng cai cashier at Starbucks flirting with Lau Niang lei. Sungguh tak sangka merk tetap cantik menawan walaupun muka sudah tembam macam char siu pau. So i still have some holiday weights; bite my chinese ass if you dun like then.<br /><br />So this guy, he's a really cute malay guy standing behind the cashier counter. He has the beautifulest eyes that sparkles everytime you look into it and he keeps on flashing this smile that makes me blush all the time.<br /><br />Anyways here's me scripting the scene again.<br /><br />Abg Starbucks: Hello Sir...gooood morning. Can i have your order please?<br /><br />Lau Niang: (Still groggy coz baru dipaksa bangun by stoopit sisters yang gila shopping pagi-pagi buta) .....can i have a caffe latte please?<br /><br />Abg Starbucks: Very well sir. Would you like any flavour with it? Caramel? Vanilla? Anything for you?<br /><br />Lau Niang: No...just a plain one will do.<br /><br />Abg Starbucks: No problem...(starts punching in the cash register and keyeing in my order) How are you today sir? (he squints his beautiful eyes at me wondering if i'm ok or not....in which i'm not!)<br /><br />Lau Niang: I uhh.....definitely need my coffee 1st. Now.....*weak laugh*<br /><br />Abg Starbucks: Ha ha ha....it's on the way. So are you local? *Insert killer smile*<br /><br />Lau Niang: Umm yeah.....i'm local but i work in KL.<br /><br />Abg Starbucks: Ahh....back for the holidays eh? Having a good time?<br /><br />Lau Niang: Welll...i'm just catching on my sleep and shopping around...buying coffee. Ha ha ha!<br /><br />Abg Starbucks: Well your coffee is ready sir. Would you like an extra shot with it? On the house *insert smiley face and twinkling eyes* (ohmigod...basah panties i okeh)<br /><br />Lau Niang: That's really nice of you...but its ok<span style="font-size:78%;">....(can i have an extra shot of you instead)</span> i'll be just fine.<br /><br />Abg Starbucks: *Passes cup of coffee to me and looking curiously between me and my sister* Just curious....are you two together?<br /><br />Lau Niang: Well.....she's my sister if that's what you mean. <span style="font-size:78%;">(Yes i'm very available so just fucking write your number on my coffee cup oledi!)</span><br /><br />Abg Starbucks: Oh of course....ha ha ha haha! Here's your coffee and have a nice day sir. Do come again soon!<br /><br />Lau Niang: Thank you so much....i'll see you around sometime *grins*<br /><br />Grin returned.<br /><br /><br />Five minutes after i left Starbucks....<br /><br />Lau Niang: Kanine cau cibai......i ordered the wrong coffee. I wanted iced latte! So hot how to drink?!?!<br /><br />But never mind. Merk rela minum latte panas. That was the nicest latte panas i ever drank. Sedap walaupun panas. Did i mentioned how hot it was? Saya alah panas.<br /><br />But it was well worth the wrong order....<br /><br />PS: Dun you fucking dare ask me which outlet it was and what is the Abg Starbucks name. You think you can go and menyundal wif him hor. Fat hopes. Abg Starbucks is merk punyer....sapa nak mari merasa my golden nails dulu. Pastu i baptize with latte panas.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7229824912690739167.post-7515537345513872922008-08-06T07:43:00.002+08:002008-08-06T08:19:08.959+08:00My Happy Family PortraitFollowing on with the conversation between me and the unfortunate engineer whom i love driving up the wall so much....we had another episode only yesterday. So yesterday...we ended having up having me raving on my fetish for Lucy Liu again.<br /><br />Me: I tell you a secret. My twin sister is actually Lucy Liu.<br /><br />Chatter: *rolls eyes* What is it with you and Lucy Liu?!<br /><br />Me: Oh we have the same eyes you know! Very exotic almond shape one. If wear eye shadow meletops kau. And we're both international actress also. Only that i'm better a bit. But i low profile mah...so she more femes a bit lor.<br /><br />Chatter: *faints* Wh...why Lucy Liu???! There are plenty of other famous chinese actress also what. What about Gong Li? She's famous what.<br /><br />Me: Not as femes as Lucy Liu lor.<br /><br />Chatter: Eh she's huge in Europe okeh.<br /><br />Me: Lucy Liu is huge EVERYWHERE. And she happens to be one of the best dressed celebrity in Hollywood, on par with dames like Cathrine Zeta Jones and Nicole Kidman you know. And she's chinese! Doesn't that make you feel proud a bit?<br /><br />Chatter: Gong Li is chinese also what.<br /><br />Me: Ya i like her also. Lucy Liu is my twin sister and Gong Li is our secret biological mother. That's why we so exotic.<br /><br />Chatter: Arrrrgghhh!!!!! Why did i bring this up in the 1st place.....what was i thinking!<br /><br />Me: Oh...and that Zhang Ziyi is the slut who stole Ken Watanabe away from me.<br /><br />Chatter: Oh my god......what sin have i commited to deserve a friend like you.....ahhh!!!!! I'm getting a headache now!<br /><br />Me: oh oh oh! I have another distant cousin who can help you also! She's not as pretty as me and Lucy Liu coz she's actually from Korea. But she's a very good doctor...can cure your headache.<br /><br />Chatter: ?!?!?!?!!!<br /><br />Me: Sandra Oh.<br /><br />Chatter: Arrrrggghh!!!!! You know what i really better take a moment away from you before i smash the computer monitor.<br /><br />Me: Ok lah ok lah dowan disturb you anymore lah. I dun wan to be responsible for your premature insanity wait. Very serious now okeh. I tell you bout my real family. I have an aunty from Ipoh.<br /><br />Chatter: Finally! Ok...an aunty from Ipoh. So what about her? What's so good (or bad) about her?<br /><br />Me: ...........Michelle Yeoh. Toooott. (cepat cepat offline)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com12