Diva goes to Zoo Negara

I have a confession to make here. I'm really really emberassed to admit that i have never been to the National Zoo as a loyal (?) citizen of Malaysia. Having said that, a very very thoughtful friend of mine took the gesture to visit the National Zoo last deepavali. So why only now i post? Coz i lazy busy lor. Uhmm. yeah.

YAY!!! I'm finally going to the zoo! I couldn't sleep a wink at all the previous night.

And when the big day arrived, the weather was just fabulous.

No of course it din rain (else this would have been a bloody angry post by now) lah. The weather was really fantabulous. It only rained when we were leaving. So lucky hor!

So there i was; at the entrance of the zoo, in a fabulous weather no less. And this was the very 1st animal i spotted there.

Well....it was deepavali after all. So its only natural they put a themed bird at the entrace to attract visitors. Oh there's another white peacock actually. But it was shoving its butt at my face the whole time i REFUSED to snap its pic. Dunno how to pose at all. Stoopid bird.

Moving on, we went to the nearest section; the bird section. I searched high and low for Hugh Jackman or Ken Watanabe's bird but i was let down. Instead i saw all these colour colourful birds.

They'd make a nice hat for Queen Elizabeth to wear for her cute lil' English Tea Parties though. Moving on, i saw more birds. Seriously, their bird section is rather impressive. They have quite a huge variety.

This....is not a joke. This seriously loooks like a horror scene from Resident Evil. Remember those Zombie crows?

Someone could actually die you know. All the birds are actually not caged! They're free to fly and roam free around that huge ass lake. So horror!

But nothing is as horror as the next animal i saw lor. It really sent chills to my bone ok.

Blue chickens. I dun care if they're blue or shocking pink. A bloody chicken is still a bloody chicken. Fucking horror can. Thank god my fren is still looking at the storks; else i would have jumped on him and made a scene. Shit....i sure hope those fences have 1000000 watt electric. Fry them chickens if they even dare come near the fence!!

I ran off to the next section at the sight of that bloody chicken. That freaked me out enough. I dun care what other birds they have there.

Straight ahead was where all the giant cats are. Hmmm...anything's better than chickens. I saw the lion. Its in such a sad looking state.

Tsk tsk tsk......see how anorexic the lion is. Its.....its...Ally McBeal! On an Aspen diet! If you see the lion in real, its even worse lor. You can actually see the rib cage and the poor thing just walk to and fro aimlessly....waiting for Thy Kingdom to come. And check out the pathethic mane. So little hair. What happened??! Someone sponsor the lion a lil' hair extension please. Even my ku ku ciau got more hair than his mane lor. Sad sad sad......

The tigers was a nicer sight to see though.

See?? The tigers look so much more healthier right? I think the zookeeper either hates the lion or he has a scandal with the tiger ala Black Sheep movie lor. And i was lucky enough to see the feeding session. It was so fascinating to see the tiger eating. Same like house cat waiting for food only.

Then i saw Cheetah. Or is it a leopard?? whatever.

This stupid cheepard is more diva than lau niang. I swear. You know the cage is actually equipped with a ncie landscaping. Its not as pathethic as the pic lah. Seriously. There's trees and nicely arrnaged logs for the cheepard to climb around. Very spacious too.

but NOOOOOOOO. Instead, the cheepard chose to deliberately squat under this shabby shade just to stay away from the sun can? Omg so bloody diva i can die you know. *Roll eyes and flips hair*

Moving on, i saw bats as well. Huge ass ones. Again, the bats are allowed to fly freely in a closed compund. When you enter the big cage/room, its just you and the bats. No barrier. Thank god i wasn't attacked.

So what happens when you go to the zoo with a Diva? you get statements like...

"Hmm.....this door looks closed. *twirls hair and pouts lips* can you like....do something about it??"

(friend is busy taking pics while i stood behind waiting) ".....i'm bored. .....Can we go already??"

I know....i'm so so unbelievable. And my friend turut only....poor guy kena bully from lau niang. Ha ha ha ha!

So we moved on and saw many more animals.

Who's up for a bareback session? ha ha ha ha!!

Then i saw this huge ass orang utan that has braids! How cool is that? Look exactly like WHoopi Goldberg lor!

There's also this weird look bear/goat/cow/i-dunno-wtf -izzit animal. From Australia i think. Anyone knows the name? For now i'll just call them....Susie. So here are all the Susies i saw. So many Susies!

There's even this cow with a gorgeous bikini tan. So jeles tau....

Then came the reptile section. Such a let down. Their snake species are so little and common. I've seen more snakes in a pet shop lor. I dun even bother to take pics. Nothing diva also. Worst part is they dun even have crocodiles. How sad is that?? This tiny caimen is the closest thing i saw that resembled a crocodile. So sedihs lor....

Then they had a bee exhibition also. They were selling honey, explaining bee species, showing bee hives and other things. Is this a Bee Movie promotion?

Whatever it was, it certainly brought back bad memories! No more fucking bees for me. I very nearly more wanted to scream and overturn all the displays they had there. I need to avenge myself!

Oh my god.....

I've been ranting for more than 3 hours? This sure is a fucking long post. Ha ha! From his face, i can tell Mama Diva is hungry already.

Gotta go now.Cheerios......

p/s: once again, i gatta thank my friend for bringing me to the zoo, buying the tickets for me, getting me a secret recipe breakfast in case i get hungry ( I know. I'm so so diva *flips hair*) and most of all.....putting up with my diva antics. Thank you thank you thank you. Muacks. Ha ha ha!