Tuesday, October 30, 2007

P Ramlee meets Michael Wong

Wow....i own a blog? Sheeessh.....i nearly more forgotten. Ha ha ha ha!!

No lah i just telling jokes. Jokes only lah. I like telling jokes.

That's how geli Douglas Lim was in P Ramlee musical. He played one of the cheesy Shaw Brothers.

So here's me this time: Lau Niang sorly sorly so long never do homework here lor!

These few weeks has been really crazy for me. Hence the slacking in my blogging. As the year end approaches, tis' the time for all the farking anal variety concerts lah, the Hari Raya Concert lah, the prize giving day lah, the cheedren day lah....machiam machiam. Can die okeh. Soooma pun i jadi coordinator. Botak my rambut 7 tingkat you knows. In this 2 weeks alone i have 4 shows to manage.

I can farking die.

So apart from loosing sleeping and blogging time at work, of coz i got a lot of invites also lah. That's my nights ALSO taken. Ceh...invites gitue. Diva konon lah. But its true lor, i really was INVITED.

Friday was P Ramlee day with poporoot. The show was....was....was fabooloos lor. Nothing much i can say here. Not after the super long analytical review and in depth critiques poporoot wrote on his blog. Go read lor. Jeles tak i got gambar Siti??

On the other hand, i have more to say on the SECOND show i watched on the following sunday. Yup, that's 2 show in a weekend for you. Amek engko. Naturally i was invited as well. heh heh...

So this show is somewhat like a chinese cultural show kinda thing that was held in Bukit Jalil. I didn't know what to expect there. I just went for the love of free tickets and live performances.

Only later did i realize that Michael Wong and Erra Fazira is going to appear as well. So you can imagine the crowd lah. This is the first time i saw Michael Wong performing. Not that i'm a huge fan, but i have to say he's a rather good singer. He has very good control of the songs he sings.

Have a look see....

It's crazy. I heard the crowd were over 40 000 strong. And all chinese. Poporoot would have died happily there. Mak larri ke China sorok bawah Great Wall dolu. The show itself was so extravagant. So many millions were invested and it was really grand to an obsecene scale.

I'm talking about having 50 lion dancers to welcome the VIPs kind of grand here. Would you just look at the stage? Unfortunately, i wasn't too happy with the venue. The stadium is so bloody huge and that made the stage look so tiny. The audience seat were like 1000000 miles away from the stage can? VIP aundience had chairs in the middle area closer to the stage.

But hor.....padan muka they alls. Halfway through the show, it started raining and they were drenched wet. To my amusement, i saw the audience scurrying all over the place like chickens. Umbrellas popped everywhere and get this: disposable rain coats where given out.

Everyone putted the rain coats on; they looked like human condoms. See see see!

The whole time i was sitting comfortably in the shade camwhoring, laughing at the silly VIP audiences and enjoying my cup of sweet corn. Seeing them is more fun than the show. Ha ha ha!

Lau Niang is memang keji. Ha ha ha ha ha........!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Catherine Tate - Crazy Bitch

Ya'll gotta see this. She's freakishly racist, rude and so insensitive . I LOVE HER!

Monday, October 22, 2007

Children's Poop Story

As i was browsing for children titles in the library to do my story telling in class....i came across this most peculiar book. I snapped ALL the pages for u ols to see. Have a good read.

Err.....and they pooped happily ever after??

I wonder how my kids and the class teacher were to react if i selceted this title to do my story telling. Now that's gotta be shitty. Pardon the pun.

Message of the story: Stay healthy. Poop everyday.

Reading this boook makes me feel like pooping too. So i'm a go poopin' some poops now.

Bye poops.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Hari Raya Bersama Lau Niang Live in Singapore!

Holiday's over and now its back to work. Huu huuu huuu.....anyways, to all muslim readers; here's wishing you a Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf zahir. Batin takder ye.

Before i start off today's rant, i just have a lil' follow up from my previous post. Project Husky tak jadi anymore!!!! Man was i so so so relieved! And before you can point finger at me calling me prodigal daughter anak derhaka and what not, i'll have you known that it was Dad who called it off okeh. Nothing to do with innocent me. Apparently the husky got no birth certificate. And dad's very particular birth certs. So no cert, no husky. Close call. Ha ha ha ha!

Right. Moving on. My Holidays. I think a long post is coming ahead so make sure you have some time for this. Ha ha ha. Lau Niang go to Singapore last Raya you know. And i sure had plenty of fun. Of course, this isn't my 1st trip there. I have a few relatives living there so i do go over ther every now and then. But normally the trips are so so so boring. Its so boring until i grow mushroom and cobwebs there you know.

But this time, i was determined to make a productive trip. No more loafing around aunty's house waiting for go home time. But before the fun begins, there's always the long excrutiating journey in he car. 3 adults and a princess crammed at the back seat for like what....4 hours??


In situations like these, people do the srtangest things out of boredom. The lucky ones fall asleep. The unluckier ones...are weird. I was sandwiched beside nenek and guess what shining bling bling caught the corner of my eyes.

How bout that. My gramma wears a Guess. Main main engko! She is high crass punyer nenek tau. Did i leave her at peace with her Guess shades?

Of course not.

A lil' less than an hour later, my sis fell asleep. She dropped dead and slumped on my thighs throughout the entire journey. I was this close to loosing my sperm production abilities. With her long hair frazzled all over the place, Nenek invented her own way of self entertainment.

Yep. That's her. Nenek ku yang kiut skali. At long last, i finally reached. Gah....i dunno how i survived the car ride. Like seriously. So after grabbing a quick lunch, we wasted no time and headed to the nearest MRT station.

Shopping spree!!!!!!!!

With none of the family members familar with roads around the place, we simply bumped around and hopped off stations that sounded shopping-y to us. Naturally we got off to some of the weirdest place to shop. We went to Raffles' Place instead of Raffles' City. Then i went like "Eh.....did they close the mall down? Why so quiet in here???"

Bugis street was the most amusing trip i have to say. I got off the station and i found this huge ass flea market.

It somewhat reminded me of Chatuchak Market i went in Bangkok. But everything is sold in S'pore currency here okeh. So me is poor. In bangkok i Paris Hilton know....buy things no need see price tag one. Cheep cheep cheep....here have to think 3 times, then convert to RM see expensive not, then have convention to see apa kata survey, if all pass baru lah beli. Punya lah susah.

Anyway, walking along he hustling streets there is a nice experience on its own. So many beautiful people to see. Ha ha ha ha! Then....i got robbed.

Yes people, i got robbed in Singapore. By my sister. She force me to buy ice cream for her tau. Good thing its only 80 cent. But i have to say Singapore ice creams do look peculiar. have you seen ice cream served like this?

Fascinating. Its quite a huge chunk you know. So kira quite worth it lah. Omigosh....but wait till she sees the japanese ice cream i had with Japan Slut last night. I forced him to drive me back to Hartamas just so i can have another bar. Mak memang keji. Ha ha ha ha!

Back to Singapore. More walking and walking up ahead. Until dad cannot tahan mintak recess at a minum stall. Ok lor. Then i got another shock of my like. No i din get robbed this time. (I'm so full of drama, i know) I saw the huge ass ceiling fan rotating on top of my head. Its freaking huge i tell you!

See what i mean? You can decapitate 20 heads at one go with that! I think if the fan collapses, hundreds will die. I've never seen a ceiling fan this huge before.

Within a few hours, everyone of us is already panting and all sweaty. We saw a mall right ahead and by instinct, everyone marched into the mall. I dun even know what's the name of the mall, but the minute i stepped in, i felt like i stepped into the magical land of Oz. This mall is catered for......Ah Mas!!!

Seriously. All the shoppers are like Rosie Phua lookalikes. All the shoppers were aunties. 40s above with giant curls clad in big floral print tops. ALL of them! I kid you not. I walked around the ladies department and i saw this.

Horror tak? Like ALL the baju in the mall is like that. Me and my sis exchanged blank looks in silence only. Trying hard to believe its real. Not even Nenek would be caught dead in those gaudy outfits. Oh, and look at their latest collection on display.

I rest my case. We tiptoed our way out, not touching anything at all. Later in the evening, we hopped into another station.

City hall meets Suntec City. Lau Niang is happy now. Ha ha ha! Finally some decent malls with browse worthy boutiques. The malls there are very tourist friendly i should say. There were sign boards everywhere so you don't get lost easily. Then i noticed this most peculiar Road name.

Hmmm.....anyone up for some wet bras? There's a whole road of it here in Singapore.

Also, the interior of the malls here are rather jaw dropping. In the Sunctec City mall, i saw this miniature musical fountain complete with is own background music and rather good ligthings and water formations. I tell you, fountain also can gather so many crowds.

Look at this woman. She can sit there for 10 minutes admiring the fountain. I have to stand behind and wait for her. She dind't move until i dragged her arms off and went "Aiyah mommy no need to see lah. It's just water! Next time i install one in our house you can watch all day long lah. I wanna see baju now!!"

Then only she rela to go. Wasting my youth you know.

Finally it was time to go home coz all the malls closing. Cis. But anyhow, i bought me many many things also. Me is happy now. here's what i got.

Renoma panties from a mall, courtesy of Mommy. Ya, she still buy my panties. All my favourite colour, so nice. Got white, got grey, oh there's another oren one but i wearing now. Cannot show u ols. Ha ha ha!

Then i got this stringy holey bermuda from Bugis. 20 bucks only. What a bargain. Ha ha ha! But its true lor what the say. Good things not cheap, cheap things not good.

You see what happen to my pocket inside......koyak one.

But fret not. Thank god for mommies! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Last but not least, i got this really really nice long sleeve. From Bugis also. So so so nice. Now if you'll excuse me, i got a runway to walk.

Man, this post is fucking long. I'm not even bothered to check the spelling. So....cheerios..

Monday, October 8, 2007

Birthday Meme

Another long overdued meme tagged by Fir.

1. When is your birthday?
24 November 1982

2. How old are you now?
21. Shut up. I'll always be 21.

3. Where were you born?
In a hospital under a heavy storm and monstrous thunders ala The Omen. God never rested ever since.

4. When did you first celebrated your birthday?
The earliest memory of a birthday celebration was my 4th one. I had the same birth date with a cousin. Back then, i was twice his age. I was 4, he was 2. We both had our own birthday cakes in the shape of the number 2 and 4. It was placed side by side and we took a picture of it.

5. When will you next birthday be?
About a month's time. Dress rehearsal in 2 weeks time. Gift offerings are open from now on. Hint hint.

6. Did you remember getting birthday presents on your birthdays?
That's the one thing i hate about my birthday. It falls on a school holiday and i always end up isolated alone at home. Therefore i don't usually recieve many gifts. Or celebrate with friends. Sob sob.

7. What are the 3 things do you want for your upcoming birthday?
A husband, a new pet and nicer pecs. Can i?

Sigh.....don't you just love reptiles???

8.What kind of presents you want for your birthday?
Oooh....this is my fav question! Ha ha ha! Now let's see....

I'm such a bed sheet whore. And i'm SO SO SO desperate of queen size ones. Ever since i did my room makeover, i have yet to buy new sheets for my queen bed. No time no money. Heh heh....

A Crumpler bag! Isn't it just gorgeous! And look...it even has my favourtie shade of green!

With a book whore like me around, one can never go wrong with gift vouchers! I simply heart books!

Last but definitely not least (I somehow predict a part 2 for this question....lolz)

A Bath Robe! ha ha ha! I know! So i can wrap my head in a matching towel and watch DVDs at home after a long shower.....like Siu Lai Lai hor....that's the life....

9. Who would you like to celebrate your birthday with?
Ken Watanabe, Daniel Wu and Lee Hom. In thongs please.

If they are not available (in thongs) then friends and family would suffice lah. He he he.

10. How do you want to celebrate your birthday?

Like this can ah? I never try before mah.... :D

People to tag:

Ah Bong
Queer Rant

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Photohunters : Theme - Curvy

This week's theme for Photohunters is curvy. I had a fabulous trip to Putrajaya, loacted in Kuala Lumpur; the capital of my country (Malaysia). I've been there several times already actually but on my last trip there, i discovored the most magnificient view i ever came across.

Little did i realize that there's actually a replica of the Morrocan Palace hidden deep in the vast beautiful gardens. As i made my way in for the grand tour, i was so awed by its intricate architecture. They seem to have plenty of oh-so-beautiful curvy arches that is just simply perfect for the theme today.

So treat yourself to the glorious pics and have a nice weekend everyone!

What did i tell you.....in't it simply a sight to behold? Ha ha ha!