Monday, November 26, 2007

Orgy in Sekeping Serendah

What happens when you watch Titanic 5 times in a row?

You get sick.

What happenes when Senario releases a new film and earns 5 million from local market?

You get sick.

What happens when you get too excited over the school holidays and you sleep too late; wake up too early?

You get sick.

That's what happened to lau niang and that's why i was away for quite a while. I was bedridden and i nearly died from my fever. And i was SO SO SO afraid i couldn't make it for this trip. I was sick right till the very day before the trip but thankfully, my fever dispersed right on time. So i made it for this trip right in the nick of time. If not, Dan would me cursing me to my grave if i tell him last minute i too sick to go. Ha ha ha!

So what's this trip about?

Oooh.....its a raunchy 1 day camp at sekeping serendah. 6 fairy bloggers in a glass shed, surrounded by NOTHING but trees. So erotic and exotic was! Ha ha ha ha!

I think its located somewhere near Rawang. And my.....Rawang is such a God fearing place i tell you. Even God fears the people of this town. Look what i saw as i was in the car, on the way to the campsite:
That's one hell of a reminder for people to to worship.

When i first heard of the plan and this thing about glass sheds.....i was Why glass? What are glass sheds??!

I finally knew what it meant when i saw the place myself. Take a look:

The house is LITERALLY made of glass. Seriously. Glass every where. All four walls. Glass.

See i'm not joking. You can fucking see everything inside out. If you're thinking of coming here to have sex, forget it. Baboons and stray dogs will come and watch you and copy all your positions; maybe even jeer at you.

And there are no doors either. The whole house is made of glass panels. Unlockable latchless ones. I nearly fell to my death when i tried to lean against one of the windows upstairs. The window just flew open the minute i rested my back on it. Haiyor.....die already also dunno. So scary mary!

But nevertherless, its really a nice quaint little place. Fanstastic view of mother nature in all its glory. There's so much green its almost surreal. I felt like i was in a fantasy porn movie. With little nymphs humping on tree branches and naked water fairies bathing by the river kinda thing you know.

But i did see dragonflies fucking by the pool though. That's the closest i got. Hmm.

No doubt the view is fantastic in the daytime. But don't fucking ask me how it looks like at night. I will slap you. I swear. Unlockable glass panels. Pitch black night. Shillouette of trees with giant branches and dangling vines swaying against the cold wind at night. No curtains to close anything.

I tell you its the perfect spot for a horror movie. Just by sitting on the couch against all the glass panels looking out into the dark wilderness outside, i can make up at least 20 pontianak stories already. So horror. But thankfully nothing happen.

To add to the horror, lemme give you a tour to the toilet. Its located OUTSIDE the house and its VERY exposed. You sit on the toilet bowl to crap; you look up....TREES. And the shower is very conviniently and nicely located FACING the staircase inside the house; seperated by....... a glass panel. Very very good feng shui. So yes people, you sit by the stairs, grab a bag of pop corn and have a fantastic view of your frens bathing.

I am not kidding.

Of course i didn't peep! What you lau niang is pervert izzit....where can peep frens one. Yer! This shot is courtesy of Froggy who is more than kind enough to model for us just to show how horror the toilet is. Ha ha ha!

Daytime flew by quite fast. There were so much to do. We prepared for a barbeque for dinner. There's a BBQ pit provided in the umm....courtyard of the house.

I wonder how many people died in that pot.

Anyway, BBQ are always fun. Don't we all love to burn things? Ha ha ha!

There were so much food we couldn't finish it all. Thank god Maria was there to give a helping hand. I mean paw. Meet Maria.....our new brown kudis infested friendly neighbour with 10 dangling tits:

We had time to swim before preparing for the BBQ too. The pool was another glorious sight. Located like 5 mins walk away from our campsite it looked very zen and very....Bel Ami.

Let your minagination run wild people!

What happens when you have 6 fairies in a pool all to themselves? You get a scene from the Mermaid Lagoon in Peter Pan of course. I splash you, you splash me see who is the most gedik.

Unfortunately, i couldn't jump in the water like the others. Not in my just-got-well condition. Can't risk getting sick again. Did i mention how fucking cold the water was? Its like fridge water! But of course i too, had my share of fun.

Oh this is so fun!

I wish i can post more pool picks here but the rest are just too scandolous. I just can't. Not with all the nipple pinching and groping arounds. Ha ha ha!

But in the can i possibly stay away from the water. I'm Little Mermaid reincarnated. I'm DRAWN to water. So what happens? More camwhoring ensued. And here's our signature "3 tatooed maids" shot again:

Night time was a lil' trying. You see, there's no TV or Astro tau. Only trees to look at. If you dare. Gulp. fear. Thank God for the invention of.....TWISTER!!

Ha ha ha.....that sure provided us hours of fun and most importantly, it was a great distraction from the exposed windows and swaying trees outside. Ha ha ha! And so we twisted the night away till everyone was fast asleep.

When dawn broke, it was time to pack up and leave. But before we left, there's still time fore....more camwhoring! Ha ha ha!

I sure had one whacky birthday this year....... :D

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Diva goes to Zoo Negara

I have a confession to make here. I'm really really emberassed to admit that i have never been to the National Zoo as a loyal (?) citizen of Malaysia. Having said that, a very very thoughtful friend of mine took the gesture to visit the National Zoo last deepavali. So why only now i post? Coz i lazy busy lor. Uhmm. yeah.

YAY!!! I'm finally going to the zoo! I couldn't sleep a wink at all the previous night.

And when the big day arrived, the weather was just fabulous.

No of course it din rain (else this would have been a bloody angry post by now) lah. The weather was really fantabulous. It only rained when we were leaving. So lucky hor!

So there i was; at the entrance of the zoo, in a fabulous weather no less. And this was the very 1st animal i spotted there. was deepavali after all. So its only natural they put a themed bird at the entrace to attract visitors. Oh there's another white peacock actually. But it was shoving its butt at my face the whole time i REFUSED to snap its pic. Dunno how to pose at all. Stoopid bird.

Moving on, we went to the nearest section; the bird section. I searched high and low for Hugh Jackman or Ken Watanabe's bird but i was let down. Instead i saw all these colour colourful birds.

They'd make a nice hat for Queen Elizabeth to wear for her cute lil' English Tea Parties though. Moving on, i saw more birds. Seriously, their bird section is rather impressive. They have quite a huge variety. not a joke. This seriously loooks like a horror scene from Resident Evil. Remember those Zombie crows?

Someone could actually die you know. All the birds are actually not caged! They're free to fly and roam free around that huge ass lake. So horror!
But nothing is as horror as the next animal i saw lor. It really sent chills to my bone ok.
Blue chickens. I dun care if they're blue or shocking pink. A bloody chicken is still a bloody chicken. Fucking horror can. Thank god my fren is still looking at the storks; else i would have jumped on him and made a scene. Shit....i sure hope those fences have 1000000 watt electric. Fry them chickens if they even dare come near the fence!!

I ran off to the next section at the sight of that bloody chicken. That freaked me out enough. I dun care what other birds they have there.

Straight ahead was where all the giant cats are. Hmmm...anything's better than chickens. I saw the lion. Its in such a sad looking state.
Tsk tsk tsk......see how anorexic the lion is. Its.....its...Ally McBeal! On an Aspen diet! If you see the lion in real, its even worse lor. You can actually see the rib cage and the poor thing just walk to and fro aimlessly....waiting for Thy Kingdom to come. And check out the pathethic mane. So little hair. What happened??! Someone sponsor the lion a lil' hair extension please. Even my ku ku ciau got more hair than his mane lor. Sad sad sad......
The tigers was a nicer sight to see though.
See?? The tigers look so much more healthier right? I think the zookeeper either hates the lion or he has a scandal with the tiger ala Black Sheep movie lor. And i was lucky enough to see the feeding session. It was so fascinating to see the tiger eating. Same like house cat waiting for food only.
Then i saw Cheetah. Or is it a leopard?? whatever.
This stupid cheepard is more diva than lau niang. I swear. You know the cage is actually equipped with a ncie landscaping. Its not as pathethic as the pic lah. Seriously. There's trees and nicely arrnaged logs for the cheepard to climb around. Very spacious too.

but NOOOOOOOO. Instead, the cheepard chose to deliberately squat under this shabby shade just to stay away from the sun can? Omg so bloody diva i can die you know. *Roll eyes and flips hair*

Moving on, i saw bats as well. Huge ass ones. Again, the bats are allowed to fly freely in a closed compund. When you enter the big cage/room, its just you and the bats. No barrier. Thank god i wasn't attacked.
So what happens when you go to the zoo with a Diva? you get statements like...
"Hmm.....this door looks closed. *twirls hair and pouts lips* can you something about it??"
(friend is busy taking pics while i stood behind waiting) ".....i'm bored. .....Can we go already??"
I know....i'm so so unbelievable. And my friend turut only....poor guy kena bully from lau niang. Ha ha ha ha!
So we moved on and saw many more animals.
Who's up for a bareback session? ha ha ha ha!!
Then i saw this huge ass orang utan that has braids! How cool is that? Look exactly like WHoopi Goldberg lor!

There's also this weird look bear/goat/cow/i-dunno-wtf -izzit animal. From Australia i think. Anyone knows the name? For now i'll just call them....Susie. So here are all the Susies i saw. So many Susies!
There's even this cow with a gorgeous bikini tan. So jeles tau....

Then came the reptile section. Such a let down. Their snake species are so little and common. I've seen more snakes in a pet shop lor. I dun even bother to take pics. Nothing diva also. Worst part is they dun even have crocodiles. How sad is that?? This tiny caimen is the closest thing i saw that resembled a crocodile. So sedihs lor....

Then they had a bee exhibition also. They were selling honey, explaining bee species, showing bee hives and other things. Is this a Bee Movie promotion?
Whatever it was, it certainly brought back bad memories! No more fucking bees for me. I very nearly more wanted to scream and overturn all the displays they had there. I need to avenge myself!

Oh my god.....

I've been ranting for more than 3 hours? This sure is a fucking long post. Ha ha! From his face, i can tell Mama Diva is hungry already.

Gotta go now.Cheerios......

p/s: once again, i gatta thank my friend for bringing me to the zoo, buying the tickets for me, getting me a secret recipe breakfast in case i get hungry ( I know. I'm so so diva *flips hair*) and most of all.....putting up with my diva antics. Thank you thank you thank you. Muacks. Ha ha ha!

Monday, November 5, 2007

Black And White: A Miracle

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Photo Hunters: Classic

The theme for this week's photohunter is classic. And i have the most interesting picture to share with all of you which is nicely related to the theme. How wonderful. Ha ha ha!

During my trip to Langkawi island, i visited Mashuri's tomb. Mashuri is a well known legendary tale and it's famous tal is still widely known amongst the local community. In the masoleum everything, was kept in its original authentic form so that visitors will have a gist of what was life like back in they years when Mashuri was still alife.

I came across some very classic gadgets used for farming. A really interesting sight.

Apart from that, even local delicacies are being sold and they are prepared in its original classic way as well! Really authentic!

Friday, November 2, 2007

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