Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Aren’t you just sick and tired of seeing your garage cluttered in a mess? Not only does it look untidy, it also creates a hazardous environment to all. I used to be burdened with the very same problem; but now, all my worries are gone!
I owe it all to this sophisticated looking garage storage cabinets which is made available from www.carguygarage.com. Now, I can store all my things away neatly and have a spotless clean garage.
With its trendy colours and futuristic designs, organizing your knick knacks never looked so good!
This is a sponsored post.
Gossiped by Lau Niang at 5:16 PM
Thursday, September 27, 2007
1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those ribbons).
2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has move out.
3. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
4. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.You use the grocery bags to hold garbage.
5. You hate to waste food :-
a ) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. (Your mom will give a lecture about starving kids in Africa)
b ) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
6. You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers,and jam jars.
7. You have a collection of minature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
8. You wipe your plate and utensils or wash them in a small basin of hot water before you eat every time you go to arestaurant.
9. You own a rice cooker and a slow cooker.
10. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
11. You fight (literally) over who pays the dinner bill.
12. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
13. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman if you're over 20, you own a really expensive camera.
14. You're a wok user.
15. You only make long distance calls after 7pm.
16. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached-it means they're fresh.
17. You never call your parents just to say hi.
18. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they'll ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
19.Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they're heaty (yeet hay in Cantonese).
20. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only sit 10 feet apart.
21. You always cook too much.
22.You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
23.You starve yourself before going to all you can eat buffet.
24. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics, computers.
25. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
26. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
27. You wrap with napkins all the knives, spoons andforks of the airline that you fly on and put in your travel bag as souvenirs
28. You never forget to take with you all the unused bath and facial tissues when you check out from the hotel because youbelieve that you have paid its all.
29. You will laugh at yourself when you read all of them
30. And you will always proud because you're Chinese... :)
Gossiped by Lau Niang at 6:35 PM
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
List down the following:
I had quite a bit of fun using this phone also. Remember those days when its rather popular to change the phone casing to fancier ones? They come in all sorts of colours and patterns.
Remember?? I my fare share too. Some would even change the lights so you can have neon coloured running lights. I so jeles when i see my fren's phone got running lights back then. Mom wouldn;t let me waste money of such things.
Smart of her. Looking back now, it looks so la la. Like Ah Beng Ah Lian phone only. Gosh....what was i thinking!
After several years of using this phone, the battery finally had final stage Cancer. The battery dies at any moment of the day. Sometimes i just put in my pocket i dun realize also. When i on the phone again, got 10000 miss call and 1000 sms. Biasa lah, lau niang diva what....sure many people call lah right....
So i got my 2nd phone. The Samsung A800....other wise known as the Blue Eye. I think.
This is by far the sleekest phone i ever used. The features of this phone is rather basic but the shape....oh god. Its so sexy okeh. If anything, Samsung phones are always famous for its sleek designs. This phone is no bigger than my palm and its also my very 1st polyphonic ring tone phone. I was so so excited when i hear all the ringtones.
This phone is quite a lucky phone too. I once dropped it in a cab and i only realized it after i stepped down. So horror you know. I was so panic strickened. I called my own number through a public telephone and the cab driver answered. He was so kind to drive all the way back to return the phone to me. I gave him RM20 in return. That was all i could afford back then mah. But he so nice kan? Bless his soul...
But this phone too....finally suffered terminal disease. Last phone battery konked. Now this one is the key pad plak. Perhaps i was sms-ing too much? Only God knows...
So came my 3rd phone. I switched to a Sony Ericsson K700i this time. Notice i like switching brands all the time? I dunno why also. Ha ha ha! This is the 1st and only phone that i bought myself.
Its not as sleek as a Samsung, but the features were like....really REALLY impressive. Having a camera phone back then makes me feel like Paris Hilton already you know.That was the time i was introduced to the magic of MMS and cam whoring. I got so many people to send me their
nude face pics. :p
This is the one phone that didn't really get spoiled actually. So how in gay hell did i landed my current phone you ask?
Well one fine day, i saw my dad playing with this gorgeous thing. I didn't know what model it was but i was like a firefly drawn to fire.
So what happen? I robbed my dad off the phone can. Ha ha ha! He doesn't sms. Doesn't mms. Doesn't use the camera. Doesn't use the walkman feature. So why waste it kan? Might as well give me.
So i switched phone with him. Such a good son kan? Ha ha ha!
3. The phone(s) that I'm looking at to replace the current phone?
Now i'm supposed to answer this. Well, i'm quite happy with my current phone as it is. Unless something free comes along, i dun think i'll be needing a new phone anytime so soon. Ha ha ha!
I should be tagging people in this part. But screw it. Anybody wanna do just do lor....heh hehe
Gossiped by Lau Niang at 12:05 PM
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
At least that's what i think the title is. Gosh i have so many pending memes to do and i can't get over my conscience if i don't do it. Well, just like they say, better late than never right? Ha ha ha!
So this would be 1st of my meme series (more coming up). And i was tagged by Azhan to do this. SO umm....here goes.
5 things in my bag:
1. My organizer.
2. Ancient documents. That needs to be disposed. 5 years ago.
3. Umm.....candy wrappers. Not collector's item either.
4. Damaged/expired/un-usable stationaries
5. Loose change everywhere
5 things in my wallet:
2. IC/drivers license
3. ATM cards
4. buy 5 free 1 DVD coupons.
5. Cute hairdresser's name card :D
5 things i like most in my room:
1. My red walls!
2. My queen bed...all for me alone!
3. My TV/DVD set....what i'd do without it.
4. My PS2...though i hardly play with it .......
5. Whatever book titles i have by my bedside
5 things i'd like to try:
1. Performing a dance
2. Play a pontianak role...oh i'm such a natural.
3. Shoppping for 3 days and 3 nights. Ha ha ha!
4. Camping. Like girl scouts you know. It'd be so much fun!
5. Scuba Diving. Will i find King Triton's mermaid kingdom??
5 thing's i'm doing now:
1. getting my long needed bath.
2. Chatting of course!
3. Anime marathon!
4. Trying my level best to finish this ...this...thing!
5. And i'm done. Ciauz....
Suppose to tag 5 more people. But screw it. Lau Niang very democracy one. You like you do. Don't like....sing cha cham bo wif me.
Gossiped by Lau Niang at 10:52 PM
Thursday, September 13, 2007
“Wah…sound so atas one? What is it actually?? "
“Oh its nothing really, just a social gathering of single guys in a bar and they mingle around…”
“Where is it?”
“Somewhere in Bangsar lah…”
“* insert 5 seconds of silence* ………Bangsar…? Wah so high class one ah? What’s the dress code like?”
“After work attires according to the organizers.”
“What are you wearing then?”
“Jeans and something collared….”
“What do i care? So you wanna tag along?”
“Aiyo I so shy lah…never been to such events before also….dunno what to wear lah. I dunno how to mingle around also….so shy so shy…”
“yes or no?”
So there it was. Appointment fixed. Me in a Tie and Suit social…that could only spell on thing. Disaster.
So the big day arrived. I got all dolled up and Dan came to pick me up. When a Diva and a Tai Tai attends a gathering, naturally they had to be fashionably late. Its custom you know.
To our dismay, we were NOT late enough. In fact, the place was still empty when we arrived.
“Err….are we in the right place? Where’s everyone else?”
“Who gives a shit. I’m hungry.”
“Right…lets eat then.”
So we ordered our overpriced dinners that took 3 lifetimes to arrive. And very very very gradually other queens started popping up from the entrance. But we dinch give a hoot. We were too busy concentrating on the food. Ha ha ha!
Soon after, we were entertained by a magic show.
Performed by a magician.
A GAY magician.
Ever seen a gay magician before? This is my 1st time as well. So there I was, sitting amongst a group of queens watching a gay magic show.
I was expecting him to do some gay magic. I dunno…..maybe make someone’s pants disappear? Or at least perform the show in leather thongs? But oh…..lame just got lamer. Apart from his cute boyish looks, there was really nothing much to hoo haa about. It was just another “Hey look! I can pull flowers out of this hat…..tada!!” kinda show.
I quote what Dan said:
“The poor sap…..I suppose God is fair after all…”
As soon as the extremely short show ended, we decided to ditch the place and catch a movie instead. In the end, we watched Black Sheep in Cineleisure.
I must say I had more fun watching Dan squirming in his seat than watching the movie instead. Ha ha ha! But oh that movie….its a darn stupid movie….but really funny nevertherless. It really is funny. Go watch lah.
The cast includes a sheep-man (like fawn you know?), a dumb blonde tree hugging hippie, a mutated lamb, a guy with sheepophobia and many other freakshows.
And if you have a thing for animal sex, this show is definitely for you as well.
Dan nearly gave me a bitch slap for making him watch it. Ha ha ha!
So I’ve watched Black Sheep and attended a Suit and Tie social now. I feel so much more accomplished in life…..
Gossiped by Lau Niang at 9:50 AM
Sunday, September 9, 2007
I haven’t had such a happening Saturday for a long time. Shit I don’t even know where to start bitching. Ok ok ok…..we’ll do it chronologically no?
Morning: I was awakened from my slumber by an sms from Poporoot. Grrr!! But then again, who ask me put such a loud ringtone hor. But of course diva must be loud kan? So its not my fault. Nothing’s ever my fault.
Couldn’t get back to sleep anymore so I went online to
see who I can slut with chat with frens. Found Dan online and we discussed further for our girl’s night out later on. Tu nanti mak story okeh.
Not too long later, Earl Grey (yes I know an Earl; jgn main main okeh; but he’s not grey lah. Mama Diva is. Larriiik!) called for lunch. I’m such an important and busy woman. Being the sweet nice girl I am, of course I obliged.
He picked another friend up, and we had Chinese food for lunch. Such a rare occasion. I hardly eat chi food in KL coz all my frens anti-porkos. Pastu…we raided Bangsar. Shopped in Bangsar Village till evening. Tell you secret, its actually my 1st time there. Saw so many pondan and cheedren yang mengada wif those perasan-ang-moh mommies married to unglamorous ang moh men.
EG and friend did some t-shirt whoring but I already bought my lil’ black dress the day before. So…better not splurge again lest I have to makan pasir for the entire month.
It was already dinner time when I came home. Had a quick dinner with poporoot. Dier rushing coz nak
mek love ngan laki watch Anugerah Era kata nyer. If you say so lah. Hmmm….
ANYWAYS……our fren left me his tripod so I can pinjam new toy and play play a bit lah. Still had a few hours before Dan picks me up. I have a tripod with me….hmmm watudoo watudoo……..CAM WHORING!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did a major major cam whoring. I now have enough pics to make portfolio to apply for America’s Next Top Model. Nak tengok sample tak? Mak show show….
Ha…kelas tak? Ha ha ha ha!!!
And finally came the bewitching hour. Dan called and he’s arriving in 5 mins. * Prances around the house in Minnie Mouse panties* Apa lagi….Sailormoon…makeup! *pusing pusing with magic wand and long hair twirling around* Got into my lil’ black dress and waxed my hair. Must make sure 7 tingkat high and pakai tiara.
When Dan (check it out for same coverage) arrived…I hopped into his car and we headed to……..LIQUID!! Gosh…the 1st time I went to LQ was like more than 3 years ago. That was my 1st trip there and I was caught red handed by my ex who called me while I was at the
podium gyrating with sweaty topless guys bar drinking. He made me promise never to step foot there again. And I kept my word. And so this is my second time going to LQ. Sadly, it’ll be the last time as well. LQ will be closing and that was their last operating night. Sad huh?
Anyways, we went early to get free entrance. Met up Froggy(again, do check it out for the same coverage) there. Finally, pasukan Dream Girls dah full attendance. Ha ha ha! Went there one night only and I met so many friends, frenemies, old flings and Ho!!……even bumped into Earl Grey slutting around also. Tsk tsk tsk….
We shaked booties in the dance floor and headed to grab supper later on. Clubbing is a lot of hard work you know. Finally we ended the day with more camwhoring.
Ladies and ladies, I present to you…..the tattooed queens.
Gossiped by Lau Niang at 12:20 PM
Saturday, September 8, 2007
From there, i took up the saxophone on my own and i had much more fun. Now that i graduated already, i'm still tutoring part time in the orchestra. Pays quite well and i'm really enjoying myself.
Though i'm classically trained, i love a diverse trend of music. And i'd like to introduce you to Bjork; one of my all time favourite singer! For those of you who doesn't know her yet, she's one hell of an eccentric singer with really weird out-of-this-world tastes. All her album covers and video clips are really one of a kind.
See what i mean? Heh heh....and here is my favourite song of hers.
And this is my favourite video clip of hers.
Have a fabulous weekend everyone!
Gossiped by Lau Niang at 10:48 AM
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Can somebody tell me since WHEN Thai film industries come up with such a glorious film??? I thought they do really impressive horror flicks and funny pondan comedies only!
I came across its poster as i was
browsing for latest horror movies working in school. The Thai queen is SO diva okeh! I immediately searched further on the movie.
And i ended up clapping like a toy monkey with little cymbals that went short circuit.
In front of the monitor.
Thank God i was alone. Sigh....i'm such a sucker for Diva Queens.
But can you blame me?? I show you some of the visuals.
Would you just look at the set!! Can you spell K-E-L-A-S!! How elaborate is that??!?!
I want a chamber like that also!
I want that off shoulder couture dress also!
I want that head gear also!
I want the jewelries yang seberat 3 kilo tu also!
Even the maid so vogue can! I can't believe it's a Thai film.....can lawan Ang Lee anytime!
Then hor....got the hemsem prince can swim underwater and control all the fishes. Like Little Mermaid jer kan?? Mak suker mak suker!!
Lastly, i leave you with the movie trailer to savour. I dunno when is it releasing but i'll definitely be camping outside the cineplex to be the 1st person in Malaysia to buy the tickets!
Gossiped by Lau Niang at 5:26 PM
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Mak keras tau. Mak tough okeh! Hear me roar…..miau….
So my actual question is….where do drag queens stand in our country and society. You have to agree with me if I say that the general society is still very conservative when it comes to this issue. See pondan pass by only, you whisper whisper giggle giggle. Betul tak?
So in the strappy high heel shoes of a drag queen, how does one survives in society?
What concerns me most is career issues. Look at what drag queens would normally work as. Aside from the regular Pubic Relation Services, they normally work as make up artist, fashion designer, jual perfume, jual flowers, waitress…paling vogue also mak bagi kerja model lah.
BUT….never ever assume that all pondans are dumb blondes okeh. Smart and beautiful people like me also can have alternative sexual preferences tau.
But I not drag okeh. Hard to believe but its true.
So for those who drag, can they pursue their career with no unnecessary objections? Can kaum pondan work as professionals? See pondan work as lawyer or doctor before not? Or teacher even, for that matter?
Would you entrust your child to a drag teacher? Even if he/she is the best teacher around?
If you sick, you dare to jumpa doctor drag not?
Dare you hire a drag lawyer to represent you in court?
There there there….i see all the frowns and wrinkled eyebrows already. Like ulat bulu only. You see my point now? Are all drag ladies doomed to dance and sing Ning Baizura hits in night clubs and be shampoo girls in the daytime only? Even if they have the brains to do so much more?
How can we make life easier to life for everyone?
Gossiped by Lau Niang at 11:21 PM
Monday, September 3, 2007
But on that fateful day, the TV screen flashed before my eyes and I instantly dumped my plans on DVD shopping. I caught sight of this on the screen…..
Shiny, wet buffed men in skimpy trunks….walking in line, taking turns to strut their
I can only pray nenek dinch see me drooling at gawking at the TV. I tried so so hard to look nonchalant but its extra difficult with all those semi naked men smiling seductively at the screen. Have I mentioned that they were wearing tiny trunks only?? You know how hard I tried NOT to play with myself? Hmmpph….if I’m alone….habes 5 kotak tissue jumbo box Merdeka special edition tau.
I mean…look at all the contestants!! Can you blame me??! Take a look at all those meat fest! (but dunno why the guy in blue trunks 4th from left look like drag queen…lau niang suspect surely he work part time at night one)
Along the whole show, I came across some really interesting candidates. The guys in the competition sure came is all shapes and sizes. Some are really dashing, some are more talented than good looking, some are buff, some are slimmer…..some….umm….mak no comment lah. This is me being nice okeh.
Take this guy. He’s really something. At 43, he’s the oldest contestant in the entire bunch of guys. Already married with 12 grandchildren. Ok ok, i'm kidding bout the granchildrens lah. The rest of the guys are like what…half his age? He sure has balls of steel to join the competition. But I’d say….he’s quite well maintained for his age lah hor? Too bad he couldn’t compete with the other contestants who are much much younger, better looking and cuter. Join wrong competition lah hor….if join Mr Uncle Kertu sure win one. lolz !!!
And this one…..ho ho ho….need I say more….OF COURSE he’s my fav guy of the lot! He’s tall, buff, great looking….oh what more can you ask in a guy you tell me lah. Can I like migrate to Hong Kong already??
Then hor…..you dun think Mr Hong Kong all muscle guys join only you know. Rupa-rupanya got pondan join also! You see you see…..ha ha ha!
Giant Halle Berry/J-Lo shades, those ‘man’ bags, loud hair highlights with those F4 haircut (eeee…allergic mak!) …how lala is that! Sungei Wang also bersepah with this kind of guys, berangan nak join Mr Hong Kong some more. Ha ha ha ha! Tai sei he never win!
Speaking of winners…lemme show you the final winner….
Sigh….he’s not my Mr Hunk though. This one I see bias bias jer….dunno why he win also. Just because he terror Wushu a bit; managed to impress all the horny female judges. Cis. Mak geram tau! My abang muscle should have own!
But things could be worse lah….at least the pondan Sungei Wang never win lah hor…ha ha ha!!!
Gossiped by Lau Niang at 1:21 AM
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Gossiped by Lau Niang at 3:01 PM