Monday, June 25, 2007

Romance of the Red Chamber

Alright people. Here’s the actual great post that I have promised you guys earlier on. Over the past few weeks, I have been busy with a secret project actually. Now that it’s finally accomplished, I can finally present to you my magnum opus.

You see, my nenek just underwent a heart surgery and my father decided to move her bedroom downstairs for safety reasons; so she doesn’t have to climb the stairs so often. And I inherited nenek’s room of course. Bye bye to my tiny little Polly Pocket matchbox bedroom!

So of course a new room calls for……a brand new makeover!! I’m finally a big girl and I’m allowed to furnish my own room for the 1st time. Oh I just couldn’t contain my excitement. I have so many radical ideas and I’m so gonna make it happen.

First things first. I don’t want no boring white walls. Apa kelas! I want….a red one. *Picks up handphone and speed dials Mom*

“Mommy, tell Daddy I want red walls in my room. Just 2 side will do. The other 2 leave white. Have it done before I come back k? Love you….”


Red wall!!

Hmm… already but still boring. I want a mural now. So lots of drawing and erasing took place. Man it was so much work! I didn’t imagine drawing on a wall is that difficult! So I got a lil’ help from mom to touch up my final drawing. A lil’. Ha ha ha! Then came the painting part. Another grueling process…..but oh….just look at the end product!

Isn’t it just simply gorgeous! Sure it may not be a work of Picasso or professionally done; but at least I can proudly call it a Bibik Original! I actually hand drawn and painted it myself; so it sure feels rewarding. Very big accomplishment for me ok! First time I draw mural tau…kira cantik oledi lah! I dunno (and dun care) what you think….but I SIMPLY LOVE IT!!!

Next off would be getting a bed. Initially I was planning to get a single bed; thinking that I could save more space to have a writing table. But for some reasons, Daddy coaxed me into getting a queen size bed instead. That conniving old man just wanted me to spend more money. Grrr!!! He even brought me to a furniture shop selling nothing but only queen beds! Keji tak?! So I got no choice but to choose a queen bed from there.

But oh the selections they have! I dinch know Melaka got sell furnitures with such exquisite taste you know. If only the price tag is less exquisite. Cis. The beds come in all sorts of futuristic designs made of solid black wood. And I chose one with blue neon lights on the head. I had to. Look at how shiny my bed is…ha ha ha!

Of course the damage to my wallet was no less a 3rd degree burn with little chance of full recovery. I paid almost a thousand for the bed frame ALONE and another few hundred (5 I think) for a queen size mattress. Bontot Bibik on Megasale now. Sapa nak, e mail mak okeh. Do support the Bibik’s New Bedroom Charity Foundation. Mati lah i kena makan Maggi for the next 3 months.

Next off….bedsheets. Now be reminded that I never had a queen bed before. I always have been sleeping on single beds. Maklumlah taraf single now kan. This is my 1st queen bed (does that makes me taraf Queen now?) which means I need to get brand new comforters and sheets. This type of money cannot save one you know. I’ll be sleeping on it and we’re talking bout my own comfort.

After searching high and low for long enough, I finally found my love at 1st sight.

Double toned Maroon silk comforters with matching bed sheets and pillow case and bolster case. 300 thread counts. Damage caused: RM 450. I know you must be calling me crazy to be spending so much on bed sheets and comforters alone. But hey, you have any idea how silk feels like to the naked skin under a chilling 20C air con? Sleeping Beauty slept for a hundred years on her bed. I can sleep till Thy Kingdom Comes under my silk comforters. The only missing thing on my bed now is Ken Watanabe’s bare shoulder for me to lie on. Sigh….bila lah my Chairman is going to appear.

" Bibik...fret not...i'm here for you... " Ahh malu nyer mak! Mak suker mak suker!!!

Ehmm ehmm. Moving on. Curtains. Now of course I can’ have a naked window in my room can I? And what could be more perfect if it’s none other than another double toned satin fabric. I’m seeing sea blue here. This is the taste of a genuine oriental queen. Everything must shining shining one.

And oh have I found the perfect match! I was so elated by what wonders this magic curtain does. You see, its kinda semi translucent but its not clear enough to see what’s really behind it. How very seductive. Mak suka! In view of that, the shades of the curtain provides glorious daylight to my room in the daytime. It’s bright enough but its not glaring. And I don’t even have to open the curtain. It’s magic. That’s all I can say.

And when it gets darker, the curtain magically transform into glistening shades of blue green under white fluorescent lights. How g-l-a-m is that! Mak suker mak suker!!!

Next stop….furnishings. I always thought this would be the most fun part of revamping a room. But one has to be cautious not to over decorate the room lest it turns into Elton John’s bedroom. I’m still in the midst of hunting for trinkets to add in but here’s what i got so far.

I always wanted these brightly coloured leaves for a long time. The red ones I saw in the shop are simply gorgeous bit I figured they won’t stand out from my equally-as-red walls. So I matched 3 tones of lime green (you didn’t think I would loose out my favourite colour did you??), a darker hue of purple and off white. The results? Fantabulous.

Just see how striking they look with a red wall. Such vibrant and bold colours. Ha ha ha!

Oh, and I got these really colourful Peking Opera masks from my trip to Langkawi last time also. I haven’t hang them up yet, but they’re going up on my white walls soon. Also fabulous.

Now that I’m almost finally done with everything, there’s just one little thing left. My one stop entertainment centre. This would be the 2nd atom bomb attack to my wallet. I got me a petite black LG DVD player with a matching LG flat screen TV. Because they’re of the same brand, you know I can just use the DVD remote control to control both the TV and the DVD player itself? How clever is that. Technology is so fascinating these days. With the TV in my room, that means I can have my PS2 in my bedroom as well. And my blogging machine goes in there too of course.

So now, I don’t have to leave my room at all. I can sleep, watch DVDs, surf porn the net, blog and even play PS2 games all in the comfort of my red room under thick silk comforters in a chilly 20C temperature. Can I like retire from work already and just stay in my room? Please?

So once again, I present to you….le queen’s de la red boudoir! Voule voucoo shag avec moi…croissant oui Delifrance Au Clair eeuw de toilette.

Dun jeles coz I can speak fluent French and you can't.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

In Pursuit of Mr. Right....

“God let us meet wrong people in pursuit of love so we’ll know how to appreciate more when the right one comes along.”

Says some crappy forwarded e mail. I was forced into singlehood after stepping out of a relationship not so recently. It took me a few months to recuperate from the break up, and another few months to adjust into a single-woman lifestyle. Mak perit lagi tau. And I kept telling myself…

“Ok you can do this. Being single is not so scary after all. Plenty of single people in this world. Just take 3 deep breaths. You can do this. Its just a phase. Just a phase….”

Those are the magic words of wisdom I keep reminding myself. It kept me sane. It kept me from freaking out. And after several months, I finally decided to take a step forward and get my hands dirty with the dating game. And I fell 2 steps back instead.

Do you have any idea what a freak show the world is out there?! In search of Mr. Right for me, I came across some of the freakiest guys I’ve ever come across. All out of a sudden, I felt like a Carrie Bradshaw running episode after episodes of Sex and the City starring different freak stars each time.

Lemme give you a gist of some of the guest stars.

First, there was Mr. Terminal Disease. This guy happens to be younger than me and honestly speaking, I don’t really dig younger guys….coz they’re so childish. As if I’m not childish enough myself; so that’s the last thing I need. But Mr. Terminal Disease was such a persistent chatter and he insisted that we ought to meet up. I was having second thoughts; why bother meeting up if I’m not even interested?!

BUT….I decided to go against myself and give him a chance. For the sake of the good chats we had and his sincerity. On the surface at least. So we did end up meeting. True enough. No sparks. But that doesn’t mean I have to act all hostile and ditch him on the spot right. We had a good lunch and a good chat and said our bye byes.

The following night, we met online again. The he started asking questions like “What you think of me?” “Would you fall in love with a guy like me?” “Am I your type?” I was like shit…this can’t be good. Before I could even attempt answering all those questions, he was already professing his love for me. Cripes. In order to stall some time and not let him down, I said we shouldn’t go to fast since we met once only. And he took it quite nicely.

A few days and many sms later, he decided to be more honest with me because I am to be his future bf. Perasan tak the guy? Never mind that; but he revealed to me that he’s suffering from a terminal disease. Of course he’s not those final stage bed ridden type (else I couldn’t have met him up lah right) and I was so taken aback. Of all the millions of guys in this world, I had to bump into one with a terminal disease. He looked perfectly fine in the outside I didn’t suspect a thing at all. I was so panic stricken and I didn’t know how to dump him at all. From then on, it was more compassion than passion. I was worrying about him half the time and no way in gay hell am I going to play nurse here. Its fun to play nurse but it’s not fun to BE one ok.

A week more down the road, he revealed another piece of news to me. Yep…there’s more. Apparently, Mr. Terminal Disease is still seeing his ex; who has not 1, not 2, not 3, but 20 boyfriends currently. Yes you got that right. 20 boyfriends. And Mr. Terminal Disease is still considering whether to forgive him and accept him back or not.

All out of a sudden, I became counseling teacher. In the end, they talked things over and they’re back together. I merely gave him a plastic smile with a “Oh I’m so happy for you” face. I didn’t have to be the bad guy after all. Huge sigh of relief! Good luck sharing him with 19 other guys.

Mental note to self: Never ever date younger guys. EVER.

Then comes along the Buff Guy. Now this is saucier. I always had a thing for buff guys so I thought this could be fun. With Buff Guy, it was more lust than love. We had the raunchiest chats but we never met. Was kinda fun that way already . And one fine day, he e mailed me a video clip of him humping someone. Ok that’s fine, men have sex all the time and he’s not my lover, so its ok for him to sleep around all he wants.

Then there were more raunchy chats and he finally asked to meet up. Oooh…I was getting butterflies in my tummy. Meeting a buff guy….now that I never try before. It was those “Oooh I’m so scared to meet. I so shy lah. But I still want to meet….” kind of thing. Unfortunately, he was only available during my Langkawi trip. So we had to postpone.

And we have yet to meet up till today. But guess what happened yesterday?? At noon, I received an sms from an unknown number and it reads…

“Gay orgy party in Genting on so and so day. Free lodging. Strictly for 21 – 30 years old only. To join, please send an e mail to *insert-e mail add* “

Hmm….okkkkkaayy. Gay orgy parties. No thanks. But hey…wait a minute….don’t I know that e mail add from somewhere?? *Immediately opens G mail and screen through address book*

Eeeeeppps!!! The e mail add belonged to Buff Guy! That fucker organizes gay orgies!!! My god! And what are the odds of me receiving that sms also? Strike lottery even easier ok! Thank God I haven’t met him and nothing happened. Now I believe that God works in mysterious ways. Bye bye forever Buff Guy!

And finally, came The Monkey. No he doesn’t look like a monkey. Its just his nick. Now The Monkey is a more decent guy. Not very good looking but down to earth and friendly. Really genuine guy. And I do enjoy his company. The only drawback there was is that he kept on stressing how much he enjoys being single…..and he travels for work like a lot. But I told myself, “Aiyah…become friend also good enough what, since he’s such a good company” and I lived with that. Self consolation lah katanya. He calls and sms me quite oftenly and I do appreciate the attention he gives me. But earlier this month, he got really busy with his business trips again and we got a little drifted apart. And finally he came home and I met him online again. So I casually asked when could we meet up for drinks again and he dropped a bomb.

“I may not be able to meet you so soon coz I’m getting attached soon…”

Wtf. 1 minute he says how much he enjoys being single, keeps calling me everyday and the next thing he tells me he’s getting attached. I was crushed. Before I could even fall in love. Can that actually happen??! Well it’s a good thing I didn’t throw myself to him and make a fool out of myself. Die also must die with dignity okeh. Mak diva tau.

Thus ends the 1st season of Bradshaw’s Sex and the City. Sigh….i know I’m still young and I have plenty of time ahead shit, but there’s only so much I can take man. I might get a nervous breakdown if I come across another orgy planning terminal diseased guy who enjoys being single but is getting attached soon.

Cheers for singlehood.