Keysah Lau Niang Become Ibu Mithali

Last weekend, lau niang got an ACTUAL TASTE of what is it like to be a parent. See my aunt dumped dropped my little cousins at my place over the weekend because she's had it they're on a their school holidays. So i have to babysit them for the day.

Being the uptight ambitious perfectionist i am, i was all hyped up to make sure they have a real fun day. I planned my itenaries in detail. Its fun packed, its energetic, its foolproof. The kids are so gonna love me after this. *Evil grin* Pick the kids up at 10am, off to the butterfly park, lunch at Mc Donalds, off to the Zoo and another park.

I was so confident.

But we all know what is akibat confident. The kids were so hyper. God knows where they get their energy from. By the end of the day i can barely walk or talk. Fell flat on the couch the minute i reach home. You'll see why.

With the assistance of my younger sis, we were all set for the day. 10 am...off to the butterfly farm.

15 minutes upon entry...

*Innocent butterfly lands on cousin's arm*

Cousin: Kor kor...i very scared. Can we go home now?

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Me: What?! We only came in here for 15 minutes. Don't you like the butterfly? You told me you liked butterflies.

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Cousin: No i don't like them now. Can we go home?

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Me: *grumble grumble* ok...we follow this way. This is the way home. *grumble grumble*

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We walked on until we had to cross is stupid cave. They cuba cuba cute try to make exciting like got cave konon konon lah.

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Cousin: Kor kor i very scared. I don't want to enter.

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Me: There's no butterflies in there. I promise.

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Cousin: I saw something in the water.

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Me: Those are tadpoles.....

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Cousin: I scared of tadpoles....can you carry me?

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Glares at sis..... "You settle!" *runs off....*

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12pm....moving to cultural park.

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Kids enter kampung house and starts enacting Star Wars fighting scene with empty bottles as light sabres....

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Me: Oiii.....cannot fight in the house!! Come come we take pictures... (Cuba distract kids)

Me: Oii....don't play with the props! Wait uncle catch you...cannot touch..put down!!

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Leaves kampung house and continue walking on. Cousin spots a giant mushroom.

Cousin: Kor kor is that mushroom real?

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Me: Of course not.

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Cousin: Can i eat it? I love mushroom burger.

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Me: The mushroom is taller than you. The mushroom will eat you instead.

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Cousin: .............( he must be thinking what kind of siau relative he has. Ada aku keysah? NAN ADO.)

1.30pm Lunch at MacDonald.

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Me: Ok...what do you want to eat?

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Random screams: I WANT CHICKEN! I WANT RIBENA! I WANT MAC WINGS!

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Me: Here no Mac Wings lah. *grumble grumble -matilah mak bankrupt- grumble grumble*

Cousin: * Serangan muka cute* Can i have the toy?

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Me: Err....we're going to the zoo after this. How can you go zoo and carry toys? Wait the monkeys snatch your toy how? We buy later ok? Eat nugget eat nugget. (Sebenarnya kedekooot)

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2.30pm to the zoo...

10 minutes upon entry...

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Me: Oiii....cannot throw rubbish at the animals!!

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Sis: Eh don't bang the cage like that!!

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Me: Stop making faces at the animal...wait they get angry and eat you up!!

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Sis: Two of you stop running!! Cannot go so far...!!

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I dinch notice how many people were staring at us shrieking at the kids. 30 seconds later....

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Me: Oiii....i said cannot throw rubbish at the animal lor!!

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Cousin: I never i never. I throw stick only.

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Somebody kill me already. Pleeaaseee!!!

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We walked on until the kids saw some ponies.

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Cousin: *Serangan muka cute kali kedua* Can i ride the pony?

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Me: Cannot.

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Me: Sigh.................

Never in my whole life had i imagined i have to pay for a kid's pony ride. Not just A kid.

TWO kids. Good thing the eldest one thinks pony rides are dumb. I have never been so agreeeable before.....

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As difficult as it was to keep up with them...i guess the silly grins on the kid's faces made all the money (Rm2 for a 30 second round the tiny ranch pony ride. Really bluff small kids lor!) and rides worth it. Sit horse also so happy. I really don't get it. Not say sit on Ken Watanabe or Hugh Jackman also.

The pony however, weren't too excited to have my beruk-kena-belacan cousins on his back.

*sob sob* Apalah nasib mak...terpaksa ditunggang oleh budak setans. Dahlah upah ciput Rm2 pun kena rampas dengan abang horse....*sob sob*

Then we saw deers. Ever noticed how ugly deers are??

They look like anorexic cows. No offense to all Bambi fans out there.

15 minutes later....

Cousin: *Serangan muka cute kali ke3* Kor kor i'm tired. Can i have a piggy back ride?

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Me: Oh no you don't. You're not coming anywhere near my camera kid...

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Glares at sis.. "You settle!" Runs off to pretend snapping pictures of rocks.

Sis: *Grumble grumble* I'm so going to tell mom to disown you after this *Grumble grumble*

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Then they we piggy backed the kids to the bird...area. Department. Whatever.

Me: Please tell me those gates have locks. Can we just lock them with the storks and drive off?

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Sis: You wish..!

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After over 2 hours of rounding in the zoo, we finally came reach the exit. Unfortunately, cousins spotted a playground. Arrrrghhhhh!!!

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Sis: Ok....we're leaving in 10 minutes time.

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Cousin: No no no.....1 hour more.

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I can drop dead in the middle of the playground already okeh. By the end of the day both me and my sis were too tired to even complain or talk to each other.

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So any readers out there who wishes to raise kids.....think THRICE. This WILL be your routine weekend.

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Paying for pony rides.

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Screaming at kids in public.

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Buying lunch enough for 3 starving families in Ethiopia only to have kids eat half of the portion.

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Piggy back rides thak kills your shoulders.

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Screaming and jumping in the car.

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Sitting lifelessly at playgrounds while waiting for kids to be done.

SO....who's up for a fun fun fun day with the kids? HMMM????

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PS: My little niece just cried coz she got frightened by her own fart. How cute.