Lau Niang (Nearly) Goes on a Blind Date

Here's an interesting question. Exactly how much trouble are you willing to take when meeting up a chatter or net friend?

Are you willing to drive to the opposite end of town just to pick him up?

Are you willing to foot all bills like movie or meals or whatever things you do on a date that incurs costs?

Are you willing to let your date decide on everything as in where and what to eat or what movie to watch...and you just play along; although you may not be in favour of it?

MERK TAK SANGGUP. PERIOD.

I only make a few exception. VERY few. Lau niang will not struggle like that on a blind date UNLESS:

1. You is Ken Watanabe. Heck i'll pick you up, drive you around, pay for dinner (although i may have to wash plates later tapi merk sanggup nyah. Boleh i wash plate sambil singing 'Someday my prince will come..." ala Snow White ) and give you a foot rub. And lick your sweat. Oh please bring me out....

2. You are a chatter or a dear friend whom i know well enough and is worthy of all my struggle. If you is very very nice and kind to me all along and you prove yourself worthy as a good and sincere friend to me.....i will consider letting you belanja me when we meet up. If i feeling generous, i'll let you treat me to a movie as well.

No more other exceptions.

Other chatter rakyat jelata out there kalo nak dating mek, you better treat me like Queen Amidala. You must pick me up in a carriage with 8 white unicorns with silver horns or muscular topless horse-man (neh the one like Narnia one but i dowan so ugly one. I wan lebih hemsem one. Badan pass oledi) and have dayang-dayang palace bernama Zhang Ziyi pakai dress sepanjang 15 meter to hold my delicate hands and escort me to masuk carriage. Pastu must treat me to a nice dinner and a freaking good movie and surprise me with something from Prada before even thinking of getting into my panties.

Lau Niang is royalty blood okeh. Maybeline also say because i'm worth it.

So why did i bring this up? Well.....recently i was clowning with this guy i met from guys4men. Shit I spill so much dirt now i sound like skanky ho only. Stop judging me okeh. I'm not one. I know all of you melacur there also! But anyway, his face quite rakyat jelata only but he does have a nice body. But he's all the way in Sarawak. So i was just slutting with him virtually and nothing saucy happened. I'm not expecting anything to happen also.

But hor....just a few hours back, suddenly he send me sms lei! He say he's around my area visiting and he would like to meet up lei. So lau niang ma very excited lor. I ask to meet in a mall 1st. In case skali his face is like resident evil Quasimodo senanglah i ditchkan right. If meet at home mati kena rogol wait. Bontot kena terung. Cannot. Pretty girls like us must play smart one you know.

But hor......wah lan...he more diva than me can! At 1st i ask to meet in mall he dowan. Mintak to meet in Kl Central. What in gay hell. Why would anyone wanna meet up in KL Central for?! What is there to do there? Makan in McD pastu shopping in 7-11???? EUWWW!!!! Allergic merk okeh. Saya alah 7-11. I only do Debenhams and Harods. And what happened to my muscle horse-men and carriage and Zhang Ziyi kan.

Apa lagi.....i never budge. Tetap demand to meet in One Utama at least. Then you know what he said?? He freaking asked me to pick him up from Kelana Jaya can?! Not that i purposely want to berlagak diva here. But you all know my infamous talent in my sense of directions. When it comes to be getting lost on the road, Lau Niang is prodigy okeh. No one as talented as me in getting lost lor. I study in UM and work there until now, more than 5 years already still can sesat go 9 college okeh. Apa lagi want to drive so Kelana Jaya. JUST to pick up a chatter whom i have flirted with for 20 mins online only. And never meet before some more.

Do you think he's really worth all the trouble?

Honey....yah neeedd...to treat a sistah like a real lady okeh. Yah neeed....to be a gentleman and pick up this nice lady here okeh. Yah don't ask a sistah to freaking pick you up on a date mmmkay?! That is so.....uncouth.

After that i did something very sialan. Ha ha ha ha! Dengan sangat friendlynya i told him that he can actually take a free shuttle bus from the lrt station to one utama. And the bus come everyhalf hour. Pooop terus no reply. Why suddenly no sound one. Wrrr I do?! Wrrr...wrrr..wrrr I do??!

So what would you have done if you have such a situation?