Keysah Lau Niang dapat manyak presents

Lau Niang so so terharu today. Got my friend gimme very voge da vass present you know! Today got one of my friend gave me a bottle of perfume that i've been drooling over but can never afford to buy myself.

Its none other than:



Haaa......kelass tak. And please hor....is not sample bottle okeh. Its the 1.5 litre one hor. Ok lah maybe not 1.5L but its the biggest size okeh. I know its only a perfume. Not a big deal but this really means something to me lor.


You see, this is actually my very 1st bottle of perfume. I never use scents before all along. Hah...rahsia terbongkar. I have some personal reasons though. First off, i can never distinguish the scent of all the so many available perfumes in the market. I know there should be a difference but i just didn't bother to test test the smell.


Why i takda keysah? Pasal mak tak mampu. Very kesian case but that is the truth. 1 bottle of perfume costs hundreds and with that money i can feed 5 somalian families. Ok maybe i'm not Mother Theresa but still, i can use that amount of money for something more important or productive lor. That's what i always thought; that's why until now tak pernah pernah beli perfume.


So how did lau niang came to like armani's code black?


Let's rewind all the way back to last Valentine's Day. That day hor, a friend from singapore visited me. We went shopping and he treated me to a posh japanese dinner and even bought 4 pairs of private structures for me.





Please jangan dengki i have generous friends and you don't okeh. After we shopped for my panties, he took me to the perfume department coz he wanted to buy a perfume for his bf. Lau Niang ma follow lor. So i was just loitering about until i was suddenly drawn to the Armani counter. Bukan pasal perfume wangi. Pasal the counter got giant poster of abang topless yang sweaty. Tup tup tup the promoter gave me a strip of paper to smell. Lau niang ma smell lor.


I didn't know what brand was the scent but it really intruiged me. Smelled kinda fruity and musty....i actually liked it. I asked about the brand and found out its an Armani Code and only to discover that it costs like RM180 for the small bottle. Wah lau!


My generous friend actually wanted to buy for me already but i too segan lor...coz he alrady spent like how many hundred on dinner and my panties. So i went home full of panties but perfumeless that day. Kinda cursed myself for being so stupid to reject such an offer. But i tak sampai hati to spend my friend's money like that mah.....


And because Lau Niang is maha pengasih and penyanyang yang disayangi oleh tuhan and everyone, god also bless lau niang....chun chun this friend of mine present me the very same brand that i've been lusting over for so long.


VERY TERHARU OKEH.....!!


Is box set some more lei...inside got perfume size nala plus deodorant of the same scent. My ketiak will wangi for the next whole year. Ha ha ha ha! Oh and inside the box got free sample also. The name Gio de Acqua....very refreshing smell also....lau niang suka.


Who wanna present me Gio de Acqua??


Hint yang sangat tak malu.

Keysah Orang Hina Denial

Have you ever come across individuals who just has this OBSSESSED NEED to be better and above than everyone else? Simply put, i am talking about people with "kiasu" attitude. Popularly coined by Singaporean culture, this terminology simply refers to individuals who are extremely competitive and always makes a point that if someone has something, you must have it too. A bigger and better one.



Even if it means MAKING UP STORIES.



"You got house in US i got mansion in Canada. "



"You just earned your 1st million, I'm already a MULTI millionaire. "



"You got 100 for all subject, i also got 100 AND i'm president of my club and uniform unit."



Shits like that you know? I am sure everyone must know AT LEAST 1 person of such behaviour. This is not a personal attack against anyone in particular let me make clear first. Its just that i've been bogged by so many of such similar people for the past month it actually makes me wonder.



I've come across such people at work, in my social circle of friends, and yes....even relatives. It literally saddens me to see people living in such denial.

Why try so hard to be someone you're OBVIOUSLY NOT in a pathetic desperate attempt to impress others? End up smearing shit in your own face making yourself look even more ridiculous than you already are.

Why must one INSIST to be smarter or richer or more successful then the rest? Ultimately, there'll always be someone richer or smarter out there. Kau lawan kaya with Oprah Winfrey or Bill Gates lah if you really that rich.

Can't these people just come clean and simply admit that they are just as 'regular' as the rest and not boast about your non-existent inheritence or paper qualifications? If kena kantoi you don't own any of those at the end of the day kan lebih malu? Nobody will look down on you if you are not rich or whatever lah please.

The other thing i noticed about such people is that they are VERY CLEVER in dodging and making excuses if you ask any further about their assets. Lau Niang give you one classic example okeh:

Kiasu: I got house in Gold Coast you know....

Friend: Wah so nice...when you wanna show us your place?

Kiasu: Oh cannot coz i rented the house out...got people staying there.

TYPICAL.

This is what i mean lor. They will tell you they own a whole continent or they have 20 million dollars but somehow or rather you will NEVER get a glimpse of it.

And when you finally manage to cross check and compare facts only to discover that whatever that person is boasting about is all nothing but a fat-ass hoax...senang they cover.

"Oh you must have heard wrongly.....i never said that."

Keysah Pondan Bogel di Kubur Cina

Lau Niang heard a very kesian but funny story from a colleague few days ago. She is currently dating an ex policeman and this story is about the ex police man's best friend.


Apparently, that guy loves banging Mak Nyah yer. One fine night, he found himself very horny so he went to Chow Kit road to find Mak Nyah. Then get this; right in the middle of the night, he drove that Mak Nyah to a deserted chinese graveyard somewhere in the outskirts of KL and they did it there!




This is not the keji part. He made the Mak Nyah strip habis habis and he merely unzipped himself only. Never take off any piece of clothing also. Demi nak buat business, the Mak Nyah pun rela sajer. So keji kan? kan?


This is still not the keji part okeh. Ya...it gets worse. When he is finally done with the Mak Nyah, he just threw money at the Mak Nyah.....


And he drove off.


With all of the Mak Nyah's clothing as well.


Yes....the poor Mak Nyah was left stranded stark naked in a deserted chinese graveyard in the middle of the night okeh. The poor Mak Nyah have to lari bogel terkangkang kangkang chasing after the car but naturally she couldn't keep up lah. Last last really stranded bogel in the graveyard.



Question: What would you have done if you were driving pass a chinese graveyard in the middle of the night and suddenly you see a naked Mak Nyah with smeared make up and after sex hair running after your car screaming for help????

Cibai Camera Shop

This is the supidest camera shop that has the nerves to run its business in the face of the earth. Where is this shop? It is currently occupying and thus polluting and smearing the name of One Utama. This foul smelling shop also houses one of the silliest and rudest staff that i've ever seen in my whole life.

Seriously, the sole reason of hiring staff in this shop is really to boil customer's blood and chase them away after that. Oh, and not to mention they are also all out to suck customer's blood after boiling them with their almighty-suka-ikut-kepala-bapak price tag.

What happened you asked? Why is lau niang so worked up you asked? Well...so happen i just dropped by this fucked up shop just to survey price on a camera that i wish to buy. The staff try to buat sial with me....sorry lah. Wrong tail to step on. Here's the more detailed account of what happened.

Me: Hi, can i just ask what is your retail price for this camera?

Cibai Staff: Oh its rm5,100

Me: Wah why so expensive?

Cibai Staff: Standard price.

Me: I did ask a few shops and i got offers as low as rm4,900.....

Cibai Staff: Then you buy from that shop lah. I never mind one.

Me: ?!?!?!???!!!!!

Cibai Staff: You don't see cheap only you buy. Maybe they selling fake models. You got read hong kong magazine not? But if you still want to buy its up to you lah....

Me: Does your shop sell fake cameras as well?

Cibai Staff: Of course not.

Me: Then i am sure other shops are practicing the same ethics and they certainly won't like being accused of selling fake models.

Before he can say anything, i marched to the supervisor of the shop and tapped his shoulder and i went...

Me: Seriously, your staff is going to cause this shop to loose A LOT of business. Good luck surviving....

And i marched out of the shop without even looking back.

Not only was the staff rude, is he actually implying that i dunno how to tell a fake camera from a real one and what else is he trying to say? Only his shop selling original cameras is it???? I only wished my camera phone can zoom in further so that i can snap a picture of that bastard staff yang mulut hangsuang puaka tu.

PTUUIII!!!

Warm and Fuzzy Dinner

The past few months has been spent in solitude. Being well hidden from blogosphere, lau niang had pratically no life. Serious shit okeh.

Work has been really merciless....

My masters dissertation feels like i'm in an ultra gory Quentin Tarantino movie....


With both conditions in hand for me to juggle, i had no time for other things at all. Except for my new found love, photography. Heh hehe....i've started to pick things up quite seriously lately and i''ve accepted a few wedding jobs. Things are looking pretty exciting ahead....

So that's what i've been doing the whole time. Working. Studying. Editing pictures. All by myself.

Really saddening.

I was pretty assured that Ken Watanabe is going to ditch me for some young bimbo and i'm going to die an old maid already. Not until Joe invited me for dinner. Not just any dinner. This dinner meant something. To me at least. Joe has been a very nice friend i've known for a couple of years but due to time constraints, we hardly had the chance to meet up. But we remained in touch nevertherless.

And yesterday, Joe invited me over to his place for a dinner that he prepared himself. Now that's a first for me i gotta tell you. I've never had anyone cooked for me (except for mom and gramma) in my whole life. And what a blast i had. For a guy, the dishes he prepared was really impressive. Out friend even made terung...knowing that i love them very much. Heh heh!

T'was a very very sumptious 3 course dinner with soup even. The evening was very quiet and peaceful and we had a very good time watching animes ( My 2nd love interested now aside from photography. I on the way nak convert perky dah..claymore claymore...) after dinner. Its just the kind of break i need from all the pressure of work and studies.

Everything just seems.....nice to me. It was just small gestures but it left me feeling warm and fuzzy all night long.

Thanks for the wonderful dinner Joe.....really appreciate it. :D

Keysah Epik Chinta Di Tepi Jalan...

Alkisah adanya seorang perempuan kebaya high fashion yang keayuannya teramat sangat....

"My name is Sasha Fierce! Sasha Fierce!"

Kechantiqan Sasha Fierce teramatlah sangat sehingga Mak Nyah dari Pat Pong turut memendam rasa deng deng jeles.

Akan tetapi.....tiada sesiapa pun yang tahu akan secret Sasha Fierce. Hakikatnya, Sasha Fierce sangat feeling loner beloner......

"Haih.....kenaps shuban merks tak sampai sampai lagi nih.....fenats mek duduk tepi jalan tunggu everday okeh......"

"Hamboi hamboi....jantan tuh scanning merks ker? Like...FINALLY!!"

Dengan berkat iman yang kuat dan kuasa Tuhan Ilahi...one fine day.....

"Oh tuhanku...dier masih scanning merks lagi! Shit..so many things to plan lah. When to choose our wedding date? How many kids do i want with him? Time wedding nak pakai Vera Wang ker Balenciaga? Eee tension nyer merk...!!"

"Ello cik abang oi....you taste merks ker? I nampak you scanning kat i tadi....tapi never mind. Merk rela....."

Jantan: Sori stoberi....i tak taste fomfuan acelly. I taste kebaya you sajer. Fierce sangat. You rasa ada tak size mak?

MERK SENTIPS!!!!!!!

"You get your paws away dari kebaya mak okeh. Nih limited edition haute couture dari Aspadarina...Carrie Bradshaw sex and city also pakai okeh...sorry....you tak carry!! "

Akan tetapi....jantannya sangat persistent. TETAP nak pakai kebaya merah Sasha Fierce sehhinga sanggup menjadi stalker.


"Eh hello! I dah kater jangan ikoot merks lagi okeh....you memang tak carry kebaya. Ko pakai jer baju kurung...jangan lawan kehendak Tuhan okeh...kalo tak....."



"MERK MANDREM UOLS NANTI!!"

Akhirnya jantan tersebut lari lintang pukang terkencing kencing.

Dan Sasha Fierce pun get over it dan kembali menunggu shuban tulennyer dengan gaya posing high fashion......

Gosh its sooo good to be back blogging again! How is everyone in the world doing? Lau niang is absoolootley fine :D been busy with work and studies lately but there isn't one day that went by where i don't miss blogging.

As you can see, i have been doing a lot of photo shoots for lots of people. Paul and Lisa here were such great sports and really fun to work with. And no....the little picture story is not real okeh....biasalah....kerja i kan shit stirrer.

More shits to stir very very soon.....keep reading!

THE BITCH IS BACK IN THE HOUSE...

All hell will break loose on....

FRIDAY
10.04.09

Be afraid.....be very afraid.....