Meet Maya!

Lately, I’ve been introducing a few of my family members in this blog. First, there’s almighty, revered Empress Dowager herself, Nenek; with the cute lil’ U Papa episode. Classic moment.

Then came along the post for Mommy. Hmm….reading back what I wrote, I feel so weird now. If u ols been reading my blog for a while, you’ll see that its so unlike me to write such mushy stuff. But in that particular moment, I was feeling so messed up inside so much so I just decided to spill my thoughts just like that; with no funny pics or smart/quirky lines. All me…genuine and unfiltered. Sorry if I freaked any of you out. Ha ha ha!

And so today, I’d like to introduce yet another family member to you. Ladies and ladies, it would be my greatest pleasure to introduce to you……Maya.

No……not Maya Karin lah. Man if only she’s a family member. I’d be happily shrieking away in the wee hours in the morning with her, jumping from tree to tree dressed in white bed sheets. 400 thread count Egyptian cotton type no less. Mak Diva tau. Jenama Friven ker Jusco or even more choi…Tesco tu tak main okeh.

Lau Niang like you to meet THIS Maya.

Ain’t she a doll? Maya is a Yorkshire terrier breed and she belongs to my sister. She joined the clan as a gift from a friend whose dog gave birth to several Mayas. So he(?) gave a Maya to my sis.

Upon her arrival, she such a tiny Koochirat; no bigger than a Furby Doll that you’d get in Toys”R”Us. Even her huge black bulging eyes made up half of her fury face already. See, i can easily hold her in 1 hand only.

Now, circa 6 months later….look at her, a huge ball of black and brown fur in all its glory. Don’t you think she looks like an Ewok from Star Wars…



Same not?

And this is where Maya lives. Huge place for a tiny dog. In her presidential suite, Maya has her own attached bathroom with flushing toilet, toilet papers and even soap. Unfortunately, she never really learned how to utilize it…..so we just put a newspaper on the floor. Hmm.

And her spacious home also has a magnificent view of……the kitchen.

Everyday she gets to see the most beautiful lady she’s ever seen cooking lunch……Nenek.

Just like any other adolescent pooches, Maya is the naughtiest hairball you’d ever come across. She’s always up to some mischief whenever she’s out free. She does every mischief that a dog would normally do.

Biting pillows and everything that comes along the way.

Climbing on everything and not knowing how to get down later. Here, she’s seen climbing up the couch feeling feeling she owns Pride Rock ala Lion King. Siap naik 1 kaki some more. Berangan betol.

Shamelessly eating people’s crotch. That’s the only thing I’m jealous about a dog. They can do that just about anywhere and people find them adorable. Why won’t people think we’re adorable if we do that in public??

Pertinent to that, Maya spends a lot of time in the living room, mostly in front of the TV. She watches America's Next Top Model with me and here is her best shot of mimicking Tyra Bank's classic wind-blowing-hair feat. Berjaya tak?

As most dogs are, Maya is also a great attention whore. She constantly seeks human company all the time. Leave her alone and she’ll start yapping in the kitchen all day long.

Whenever with anybody, she would climb all over you, start nibbling your fingers and slobbering your face like a banshee gone berserk in an exorcism rite…or worse than that, any of my Korean students. Yes, my Korean students are worse than banshees. Leave her alone on the floor and she’ll give you a surprise bite on the heels or toes just to get back at you for leaving her alone. That actually hurts.

But there’s one person in the house……

Look at how still she sits. Nobody disturbs the great Empress Dowager while she’s concentrating hard on her Wah Loi Toi. Even dogs sit still at her sight. What would happen if Maya even dare move an inch?? Try messing with Nenek and......

Ladies and ladies, I present to you, the deadly Rolled Newspaper Jutsu. Well hidden beside the couch, Nenek could just whip it out and twack Maya’s bottom (bottom....ha ha ha ha!!!! Sorry i can't help giggling!) in a split second. I kid you not. You can’t see all the action with the naked eye coz its just too fast. Never ever…..underestimate the petite old lady. Maya doesn’t.

With the newspaper raised high up in attack mode, every slightest movement is monitored under Nenek’s watchful eyes and if Maya even just try to slobber up or scratch the couch….KA-POW!!! 2-hit combo. 500 points.

Look at Maya…..you can actually see the fear in her eyes. Nenek is the ONLY person in the house that Maya fears. Not even my dad who is even bigger than Nenek surpasses her intimidating figure.

But ultimately…..an attention whore will always remain an attention whore. At the end of the day, Maya and Nenek still have a special bond in their own special way….under the caution of the forever-ready rolled up newspaper no less.

Now that’s what I call hard love.

Have a great Monday uols.