Canon S5IS Revealed

Twas a dark and stormy night. The heavy drizzle of the rain patted rhythmically on my window panes. The air con was set to a nice breezy temperature. I was alone in my room with only my laptop keeping me company. I got lost in cyberland googling for nude pics of Ken Watanabe slutting chatting with other fellow cyber sluts good friends.

Then all out of a sudden, I heard muffled booms of explosions from outside my serene room. Pfftt....dad must have farted. Someone must be shooting dogs outside. But the explosions went on and on.....and on and on. Dad couldn't have farted so many times. There aren't THAT many stray dogs around my place. And it's drizzling outside. Who would be out shooting dogs in the middle of a rain....at past 11pm?!?!

The silent explosion got me curious and rather irritated. With a heavy heart and butt, i had to part with Ken Watanabe my chat friends, drag myself out of the room and find out what the racket is all about. If it came from any members of my family....they better be prepared for a bitch fit from hell. Nothing comes between me and Ken Watanabe my chat friends okeh. Hell hath no fury like the scorn of a woman parted from Ken Watanabe her chat friends. I'm like Malefecent flapping the wings from her haute couture gown and slamming her staff loudly on the floor already.

To my unexpected surprise, the boomings came from outside my home. See, my bedroom is jus next to the balcony and that's where the noise came from. I was all prepared to march to the balcony and scream "DIAMLAH PUKIMAK!! Nak mampos??!" to whoever it was making all the noise outside.

As soon as i opened the balcony door, i saw the most glorious sight. Fireworks booming in my face. HUGE ASS ones! I dashed back to my room and dived for the camera and here's what i got in a matter of 15 minutes or so.

Simply glorious innit? So how did i possibly get such great great shots? After recieving curious comments and compliments from the pictures of my previous buaya post, i feel its finally time i reveal my latest better-than-sex toy. Cam sluts, fairies and queens.....i present to you my latest gadget; the almighty Canon S5IS :

This baby boasts of a fantastic 8 megapixel with 12x optical zoom and 48x digital zoom. How you think i got the great close up shot of the croc eye huh. You think i squatted 2 inches away from the buaya and slowly adjust camera to snap ker. That's how good the digital zoom is. Its even far enough for me to snappy the interior of living hall of a neighbour living the NEXT block of my condo! Now i can zoom in and snappy Ken Watanabe when he's bathing. So all you people out there, remember to close your toilet windows the next time you bathe. Dun be surprised and blame me if you see pics of yourself tengah mengangkang over the toilet bowl with a caption that reads "Guess what i saw yesterday? ha ha ha ha! " in this blog.

For all the non camera savvy readers out there, this Canon is actually what we call a prosumer model. Its sort of like a hybrid between those canggih canggih SLR cameras and those point and shoot compact cameras. So basically, this is a point and shoot camera with SLR functions. Not as good as SLRs of course, but its close and good enough. Ceh sudenly sound like camera professor jer kan.

A prosumer is fun (to me) because if you're lazy and you just want a quick picture, you can easily set it at the auto mode and use it like a regular compact. Point at whichever dick subject you want and just press the snap button and you'll still get a decent pic. There's over 20 pre-set modes for you to choose from so you are really spoilt for choices. There's a mode for practically ANY pictures. Portraits, animals, plants, sceneries, night scenes, you name it they have it all.

And sometimes if you're more ambitious and you want greater shots; or those artsier ones, there's the manual mode for you to explore. This is where you can adjust everything to your liking and get the desired results you want in your picture. You can adjust the exposure, lighting, shutter speed, stuff like that. And every kind of settings will produce different results. It gets really technical here.

That's why it took me so long to reveal this camera when actually i bought it a few months ago. I thought i wanna be sure and really know how to use it 1st before i share this with everyone. Lau Niang spend so many hours sitting in bookshop browsing camera books also you dunno. I know its a very cheapskedo way but you know how much do these camera books cost?! Not rm9.90 with free toy in it that i can tell you.

This is the reason why i didn't get an SLR camera instead. It's so intimidating i tell you. This camera is also not cheap okeh. I spent many hours studying the model 1st before i buy it if not nanti kang regret my whole life plak. I never study this hard when i sat for my STPM also i tell you. Just so you know how good the picture quality this camera produces, i actually made a comparison with another similar fierwork shot i snapped with my previous Casio compact camera. You can CLEARLY see how much more difined the Canon picture quality is.

So from now on, yo can expect more paparazi shots of people making out behind dark bushes, bathing in toilet, surfing porn, or anything fun that comes along. I have 48x digital zoom now. And its upgradable.

Be afraid people, be very afraid....HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Melaka Crocodile Farm

I finally know what i want to be if i'm not teaching.

A Crocodile!!

Do you know how fun being a crocodile is? I only found out when i visited the Crocodile Farm with fellow blogger Jonzz when he dropped by my hometown. Oh yessss....i do make blind dates with straight men as well. And i'll have you known i was rather sick during the weekend also. But dun care....tetap want to go crocodile farm. So that can take pics. So can blog. So you can see. So you will....comment. *Hint hint*

See how much i love you alls. Sick also go hunting for blogging materials you know. How many of us are that passionate and selfless? Howmany howmany?

So what is so fun about being a crocodile?

I'm so envious of them i tell you. All they do is bathe in the sun all day long. And i lurrrrve sun tanning myself. See, we already have something in common.

And oh....you get to eat up people that you dun like also. I think that's the most fun part. I'm sure all of you have to agree. No need to struggle go to bomoh to mandrem them or try murdering them and end up getting caught by police. Don't like? Just chomp.

Also, i get to star in multiple Hollywood movies! You know how many crocodile movies are there in Hollywood already? People are just CRAZY over crocs i'm telling you. I'm gonna be in a movie with Ken Watanabe as the hero. Oh shit...then he'll have to kill me huh. I'm gonna die being bombed into a million pieces.

No...i'm going to be a frail harmless innocent crocodile who is being hunted by fat and ugly hunters coz they're after my beautiful skin. And Ken Watanabe would be the topless hunky environmentalist who goes all out to save me. See it's so original. Why must crocodile be bad all the time kan. I hope Ken Watanabe likes crocodile sex though. I promise i won't bite.

And when i die...as a crocodile no less....i get to do something noble. I'm gonna donate my skin to Prada and make Ken Watanabe wear me all day long. So i can smell his sweat and feel his warmth....

Omigosh i'm supposed to be talking bout a croc farm eh? How emberassing. So yeah i was there with Jonzz and we saw....... crocodiles. Crocodiles crocodiles and more crocodiles..... *cricket chirping*

Shits....does anyone know how to review a crocodile farm here???

Basically i saw many crocodiles lor. I dunno how many million times i mentioned what i saw oledi but nothing much to say anymore right. As a fully grown adult who had education up to university level, i am almost sure that crocodiles has various species as well. Am i right? I'm sure i have to be. But strangely enough, the croc farm here didn't label the species. So i'm going to label my own crocodile species here.

First, we have the rakyat jelata crocodile. They're commoners. Very fat, just laying down very still and very boring to look at. Hmm.....

Then we have the Tyra Banks crocodile. Buaya yang fierce fierce tu lah. See the eyes....so big and shiny. Memang fierce like Tyra kan. But i still like my oriental-Lucy Liu-almond-eyes. Those big and white jagged teeth also makes them look super brutal.

Then we have the Resident Evil Crocodile. See the crocodile is injured. I'm guessing this crocodile must be either suffering from ADD and he got into some fights with other crocs...or he's just a hamsap crocodile. Maybe a freak accident by a hot french kissing session. But i'm guessing its the latter reason. This croc doesn't move at all. Cannot be ADD. A snail can slowly crawl across his jaws and come out unharmed. I think his mouth cannot move coz he got a jawlock from giving too many blowjobs. Hamsap crocodile it is.

Next off, we ave the crocodile kindergarten. There's this pond where they keep all the baby crocs and they look like big iguanas. So cute lor. I wonder if they cry every morning looking for their mamas....

This crocodile farm very kelass one. Got rumah buaya cacat also okeh. These crocs got no tail one. If they can talk, i'm sure they have an epic story story to tell. Something like "Oh i sold my tail to a chinese restaurant so i can feed my family..." So ker lian hor...

And this....is the bomb. This is LAU NIANG crocodile okeh. It. Is. Fucking. Huge!!!! Its so huge it can eat up other crocs. Like finger food. You think giant crocs in movies are all graphics? There's real ones out there i tell you. It doesn't really show in the picture but it's huge i'm tell you. If there's no locked gates by the pond and the croc promises not to chew me, i'd have gladly strike a Tyra pose by the croc so you can see exactly how big it is. Scary!!!

And then, we have the Diva crocodile. Why i say this croc so diva? You compare this croc and other crocs:

You see you see. Diva or not??! Other crocs have to share a muddy shallow pond with shit water. This diva croc is like Zhang Ziyi from Banquet movie okeh.

She gets her own personal pool with crystal clear water to play with. Got personal coconut tree and landscaping some more okeh. If i'm a crocodile this would be me lor.

And here's something new for you. Do you know that crocodiles have no tongue?? I'm serious!

You see inside the mouth is all pink pink only. No tongue one. I don't see one at least. They dun have hole in the mouth also. I wonder how they swallow food. I can show you close up to see yourself.

And here i'm about to show you my last pic. This is the cream i tell you. If you're reading this at work, i suggest you dun scroll down any further coz its just too violent and horrorfying and scary mary. Not safe for work at all. Not safe for kids also. Not safe for adults also. Not safe for anyone. Dun blame me if you end up screaming in shock like siau lang in the middle of your office and have people giving you weird stares okeh. You have been warned.

Aside from the fact that this IS a crocodile farm, this farm has a "Reptile Corner" as well. I know its redundant but dunno why they insist on making one. So out of curiosity and also to make my Rm5 worth, sure i go and see what its all about lah. And i saw this to my horror (remember my warning uols....merk tak tanggung if anything malu happens ya. Pregnant ladies dont see also!)

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Some staff nicely kept their pet rabbit there. How clever......

Beauty & The beast @ Plenary Hall KLCC

Shit. I finally have an excuse know the reason why i've been lazy kept busy from blogging.

I AM SO HOOKED TO AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!!

Seriously its the only thing i do at work when i'm free. I watch it before classes. I watch it after classes. I can tibai 1 whole season in 2 days. So you can expect a more often return of me when i finish all 10 cycles lah ya. Ha ha ha ha ha! Kidding kidding.

ANYWAYS.

I'm here today to review about this musical i watched last night. Yep. Beauty and The Beast is now staging in Plenary Hall and i finally get to see my dress kuning kembang being put in good use. Of coz i will go and see. Got so many pondan attended as well. All berangan nak jadi princess.

Before i begin, here are some comments my friends made after the show. My comment is grand finale lah of coz.

"It was ok but i didn't wet my panties..." ~~ Perky

"Mana the chandelier for the dancing scene and Be My Guest? Mana the field with the horse running?" ~~ Poporoot Pegap

"Aiyo....i almost fell asleep during the show. Good thing they smart enough to change the sets..." ~~ J-Me. (J is not for jilat okeh)

"We Will Rock You is so so so so much better. Thank you God for making We Will Rock You" ~~Cat

Additional conversation i overheard behind me:

Super-excited-sugar-high-girl: Mommy mommy i want to buy the CD after this can? Can?

Monotonous-Mom : .........for what.

Having said all that, you should know by now which way review is leading to already.

In my utmost humble opinion....the musical was really just so so to me. I didn't wet my panties as well. Where do i begin. Let's start with the Beast' character.

I was so taken aback at the characterization. In the cartoon this Beast character is depicted as a large feroucious ...well..beast obviously....with permanent PMS. And buasir. In this musical version, not only his PMS and buasir was rather inconsistent, the actor actually tried too hard to give a fresh flavour to the character by adding some comedic scenes having the Beast to do things that is SO UNLIKELY of the character.

I'm talking about whining and stomping foot all over the place when Belle refused his 1st dinner invite. Kepit punai sqealling in pain when Belle was treating his injuries from the wolf attack. That is something.....i would do. Not the beast. So yeah, as a result the Beast looked like a huge ass hairy prancing drag queen who can't afford shavers.

And then there was the transformation part. You know where the spell get broken and he transforms into a prince so handsome i will hump the cardboard stand-up poster like Duracell Rabbit. Dun even get me started if he's a real person.

Anyway, you know that part is the cream of the story you know. And it was presented so poorly on stage. I know its not an easy feat to do but still what they did was really unacceptable. From what i saw, I think the Beast was hoisted up and he turned 360 like a ferris whell...with no brakes. Seriuosly he turn so fast i dunno how the actor can tahan. I will puke on Belle if it was me lor. Turn turn turn then pooof.....tada! Beast in person comes walking in with follow spot on him ala Mr. Bean.

Nabeh.....what kind of transformation is that?!?!?! If they let Belle hug and cry over a bear bear doll and have the Actor change his costume back stage also i not so geram lor. Seriuosly it reminded me of Exorcist where Linda Blair floated on top of the bed and started turning also. Suddenly become Exorcist Musical only.

And that's not the end of it okeh. I had such high hopes on the Beast-in-person actor i tell you. Of all disney princes, i think he's the 2nd most hemsem one of all lei. Number one forever must be Prince Eric of Little Mermaid. So hemsem.

See his kukucau so big. That's why i like. But this Beast prince also very hemsem you know.

See his big eyes, big chest, big arms, broad shoulder and those long flowy hair. Like horse. So nice lei. I seriuosly expected the actor to be looking somewhat similar lor. But no.

The Prince is like NOT HEMSEM AT ALL!!! Not ugly also but NOT HEMSEM AT ALL!!! He looked like some drunk latino man with stubbies all over his face. I see like so busuk like that. SUCH A DISSAPOINTMENT i tell you. I don't hate the actor, its not his fault that he looks like that but i just expected more. All Disney princes are obligated to be hemsem okeh. Its every little girl's fantasy you know. It's MY fantasy. No one likes to fantasize about drunk latino men lor. Oh ya...his hair not even blonde also. As a result, the prince got a lukewarm applause only when he 1st appeared as human. So sad lor.....sigh.

I should move on. Let's talk Belle. She's quite satisfactory. The actress was very lifelike. She really looks like Belle. Same hair same dress and even the voice very Disney also. No complaints for me. I always have a softer spot for Disney princesses becoz i'm a Disney Princess myself. I love all my sisters.

I should give some credits to Lummiere also. The candle man you know? Oh he was so confident on stage. Very flamboyant with his French flavour...very tight pants...very pondan also. I like! Tapi he straight coz he syok the female feather duster.

Then there was Chip. The little teacup you know? Such a darling. To all directors out there reading this, mak kasi tips sikit. However bad your show is, you can salvage the show by just putting a cute innocent child actor. Or a puppy if you can't get a little boy. Audiences will always have a soft spot for cute lil' children or animals. Though his part was quite little, this little Chip never fails to charm the audiences. I even heard a distinct "Awww...." from everyone when the spell was broken and the actor came in as a boy looking so cute in his night shirt and hugging Mrs. Potts. Sosweet!!! (must say fast fast in high pitch; if still cannnot, ask Jules to teach)

I was quite let down with the orchestration as well. Apart from all the mandatory songs from the cartoon version, they even added some new tracks. Tapi all the new songs like so not nice. See today is the next day only, i forgotten all the songs already. And the arrangements itself is so empty. Blerrrgh....

Dengan itu sekianlah my review for this Enchanted Musical. To those who are going to watch....Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! (Points at face)

Sybil @ The Actors Studio

Last 2 night, i dragged invited Cat along to watch a theatre with me. This show was entitled Sybil and it was directed by my very very respected ex lady boss, Faridah Merican herself; who still remembers me when i said Hi to her. Lau niang so terharu okeh! Well she HAS to remember me i suppose. I was the only intern who actually dared to bitch about my job.

ON PAPER. Oh i am all about provocating. Ha ha ha ha!

And crazily, Faridah ACTUALLY decided to publish it on the newsletter which was circulated nation wide. Gila tak.

I got really intruiged reading the sypnosis alone. As soon as i read it, I told myself "I gotta watch this!". If you're too butt lazy to check the link, basically the story is set in the Japanese Occupation and it tells the life ( but Cat insists that it is NOT about the life of hers. It should be interogation only. Dia geram! Ha ha ha!) of Sybil Kathigasu; a real character no less. She's the wife of a doctor and she was being interogated by this bad ass Japanese General. For nursing British soldiers apparently.

So the whole play is centralized on her interogation process. I had to say...hands down. This is no doubt THE MOST intense play i've ever watch. The script were rather heavy and it demands a lot of concentration and the actions were staged in its most violent glory. The actress who played Sybil is no less a weak, frail looking middle aged woman in her mid40s or even 50s i suppose. And throughout the play, she was actually tortured in the most vivid manner.

Oh yes. It felt like watching a stage play version of Kill Bill. Or the infamous Saw series. Hostel. Ok lah, not hostel. They didn't butcher people on stage lah. But still it was quite brutal for a stage performance. The actress had her hair yanked several times, slapped, punched, thrown off her chair with her hands tied, stepped on, kicked on, and get this: even had her eyes gauged. Her lingering screams of pain echoed in the hall and it gave audiences this sense of tension. Very very clever.

The cream of the show had to be the epilouge part i suppose. A lenghty video presentation of the real woman herself was screened. It showed pics of her grave, tortured victims of the Japanese War, and other relevant pictures. The video was screened WITHOUT music and the whole hall was actually in pin drop silence. I can feel the intensity myself and when all the actors came out for a humble curtain call, they received well deserved thunderous applaude.

Man i'm so jealous. I wish i can direct a violent play like that as well. When it comes to violence, i dare say i'm more creative that those damned Japanese Soldiers themselves okeh. But i suppose if i were to do it in school it'll cost me my job or something.

Hmmmpph.

Oh...the play is still running so if you wanna watch it, you still can. I strongly recommend it. :D

Chinese Courier Service

Have a good laugh with this Chinese delivery & have agood start today! And enjoy its...Innovative delivery method, the Chinese ways...forget about DHL, UPS or even FedEx!

Enjoy Reading...

A family in the Southern Province of China, were puzzled when the coffin of their dead grandmother arrived from the States. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was so tightly squeeze dinside the coffin, with no space left in it! When they opened the lid, they found a letter on top; which read as follows:

Dear Cousins,

I am sending Ah-Ma's body to you since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in Tung Shin. Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leaves are consumed. You will find inside the coffin, under Ah-ma's body, 12 cans of Yohmeitsu, 10 packets of Swiss chocolates and packets of Chinatown Lap Cheong.

Please divide these among all of you. On Ah-ma's feet you will find a new pair of Nike Air shoes (size 10) for Ah boy. Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for AhMei's and Ah Lien's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

Ah-ma is wearing 6 CK T-Shirts. The large size is forAh Bak and the others are for my nephews. Just distribute them among yourselves. The 2 new Armani Jeans that Ah-ma is wearing are for the boys.

The Rolex watch that Lee Ah Bai wanted is on Ah ma's left wrist. Kiasu Aunty Pei Pei , Ahma is wearing theTiffany necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them. The 6 white Polo cotton socks that Ah ma is wearing must be divided among my teenage cousins.

Let me know what else you need as Ah Kong also not feeling well nowadays. I can send all required things when our Ah Kong goes back too...

Sex Crazed Cab Driver

Just today, i came across the most perverted cab driver i've ever met. He's so crazy so much so i actually salute him. He had such a dysfunctional history you won't even believe me after you finish reading my post today. Here's the conversation we had as he drove me from my uni to Puduraya. I try to recollect as much details as i can.

Cabbie: You belajar sini kah? Belajar apa?

Me: Err...ya. Belajar music.

Cabbie: Oh...music bagus bagus. Sekarang you mau pergi Pudu pergi mana?

Me: Balik Hometown.

Cabbie: Hometown you mana?

Me: Melaka.

Cabbie: Oh saya orang Melaka juga. Dulu saya tinggal Portugese Settlement. Mak saya serani bapak saya India.

Me: Oh ok....Serani bagus. (dunno what else to say)

Cabbie: Actually dulu saya kerja chef kat hotel Melaka. Mak i suruh i cari girlfren kahwin.

Me: Habis tu? You tak nak kahwin you lari KL lah?

Cabbie: Tada lah.....dulu saya gila tau. I tell you ah, semua pun saya ada buat. Saya hisap ganja lah, main perempuan lah, minum arak lah....semua i pernah try. I banyak tukar girlfren lah dulu, satu hari my uncle found out dia pun bagi tau mak saya. Mak saya tak bagi i gatal dia pun halau saya dari Melaka.

Me: Wah ha ha ha ha! Happening lah you. Wah you datang KL mesti kuat main lagi lah. KL macam macam perempuan ada.

Cabbie: Tada lah, sekarang saya sudah kahwin. Tapi kadang kadang customer mintak so i dapat makan jugak. Baru last week ada satu pompuan indon i bantai. Lawa jugak.

Me: *gulps* Wah...itu perempuan mintak sama you ah? Girls so daring one ker??!

Cabbie: Ini hari punya pompuan all you dunno. Itu pompuan Indon kan, dia pura pura tanya i "Abang, i tada duit lah, macam mana?" Terus i know she want to fuck lah. I tanya dia ada tempat tak dia pun bawa i balik rumah dia. I bantai puki dia lah. Lepas habis dia mintak nombor i lagi. I tak bagi, takut nanti bini i tau.

Me: Wah if like this macam macam pompuan you dapat lah.

Cabbie: Adalah....dulu i kerja sous chef kat hotel lagi banyak. Itu customer perempuan semua i bantai. Cina, negro, indon, melayu, semua ada lah.

Me: Wah terror lah you! Yang mana paling best?

Cabbie: Aiya semua sama lah. These girls all just want a fuck only lah. Dia mau i kasi lah.

Me: Ha ha ha....wah if like that ah, kalau jantan mintak you bagi tak.

Cabbie: Tengok lah, kalau dia ok i makan juga.

Me: *Gasp!!!!! He's a freaking bi!!* (Harus merk pretend innocent dan korek lagi okeh) Wah jantan you pun main ah?

Cabbie: Aiya semua pun try lah.

Me: Bila you 1st time main ah?

Cabbie: (damn proud tone) I tell you also you wont believe. Saya umur 10 tahun sudah start main. Masa itu i tak pancut lagi lah. Ini kecik saja *gestures the thumb-to-little-finger size. Perky's fav size. Larrriiik!* Tak pancut tapi sudah ada feel lah.

Me: 10 tahun??! Siapa itu pompuan?????

Cabbie: Masa dulu kan, ada lah saya punya neighbour. Dia baru beranak then her husband pergi luar kerja 2 bulan balik sekali saja. Kakak saya pun suruh i tidur rumah dia untuk teman dia lah. Satu malam i tidur dengan dia 1 katil, dia raba saya. Then later dia bagi i tengok blue film semua. Then i pun start main dia lah. I minum susu dia lagi. Pasal dia baru beranak ada susu lagi mah. *Looks at me through the mirror and laughs*

Me: *gulps* .........

Cabbie: I main dia sampai I 13 tahun. Masa tu i boleh pancut i become lagi gila. Macam gila puki lah. I tengok perempuan lain saja i dah geram, macam nak main puki dia. Tiap tiap malam i bantai puki neighbour i. Bila laki dia balik i tak main lah.

Me: Wah terror lah you! 10 tahun main sampai sekarang.

Cabbie: Pasal tu lah i tak heran lagi. Dah berapa tahun i main lu kira lah. Lu? Tada girlfren kah?

Me: Tada lah, universiti i perempuan semua tak lawa. (cuba cover cover lah kan) Tak boleh makan. Pastu banyak laki gay.

Cabbie: Eh i bagi tau you....you jangan takut. You try saja. I tell you secret. I pernah bagi laki hisap i tau. Wah dia hisap....kalah perempuan. Dia punya teknik number 1! Very syok! You muda lagi, semua boleh enjoy. You try lah...gerenti you suka punya. Laki gay lagi pandai hisap dari perempuan oh. Dulu ada satu anak orang kaya simpan i tau. Tiap tiap kali i bagi dia hisap dia bagi i duit lagi.

Me: (oh man i so feel like giving him the diva snap and go "oh don't get me started bitch. You ain't seen nothing yet. I'm the MOTHER of blowjobs *snap snap*) Wah you memang happening lah you. Ha ha ha ha!

Before i could dig more, i arrived oledi. This is one sex addict cabbie from hell i tell you. Most entertaining cab ride of my life. Ha ha ha ha!

How To Surf Porn at Work

Hi hi hi....how's everyone in the world. Sorry for the quiteness lately but i've been recuperating from work. And i have a week more to go. Jangan marah. No i'm not sick. Choi choi choi. Now is the school holidays tau. So i'm knitting and bird watching and cloud gazing, watching the flowers bloom and dogs chasing after butterflies, reading in the porch while having English Tea and scones over the sunny afternoon.

Ok screw it.

I've been surfing porn and slutting over the net. Ha ha ha ha. But a holiday is a holiday right?

Aaaaannnd back to the topic. I have something very interesting for uols today. To all those people who are stuck bored at work and hating me with envy now, lemme give you some love.

Today lau niang will teach you how to surf porn in the office. Without getting caught of course. Sounds too good to be true? Well you better bet your ass i'm not kidding here.

So from now on, should you have any cravings to visit X tube ker, calvin's blog ker (merk larrriik ke Zulu Zulu island sorok dalam gua bawah laut dolu) you can always do so with no fear. So how do you do it?

Ladies and gentleman, i present to you the most revolutionary invention of the 21st century:

Why you think i'm knitting now?